


Just Words

by sakabelle



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Masturbation, Meta humour, Niall pining for Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-12
Updated: 2014-05-31
Packaged: 2018-01-15 12:23:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 45,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1304773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakabelle/pseuds/sakabelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tumblr is constantly shipping and writing fan fictions that hardly resemble the truth, and Niall's sick of it. His annoyance coupled with tour bus boredom leads him to start writing his own story.</p><p>What Niall doesn't expect is for that story to start revealing thoughts and feelings he had no idea were there before. Maybe tumblr is on to something after all..<br/> <br/><i>AKA the one where Niall starts writing a fan fiction of his own and the constant slashy comments leave him confused about his feelings for Harry.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a little while ago, but haven't had time to polish it up and start posting until now! Many thanks to Jess who as always is a wonderful beta and helps with idea bouncing. A couple of the pivotal moments later on in this story were her idea.

The tour bus is a dreadfully dull place.

In the past 2 hours and 54 minutes since they've been on the road from Nashville to Dallas, the list of things Niall has done is as follows:

1\. Skyped with Sean  
2\. Masturbated  
3\. Played a round of FIFA with Liam  
4\. Ate one and a half donuts (he would have finished it but Louis grabbed the other half out of his hands with a simple “thanks, mate.”)  
5\. Masturbated again.  
6\. Checked twitter.

And he's bored.

He's clicking around Facebook now, but finds it boring and somewhat upsetting. His friends back home are enjoying their holiday, and while he's having the time of his life on tour in the US, he can't deny that he misses them.

So he sighs and closes the browser window.

After staring out the window of his bunk for a couple minutes, the scenery outside gets boring again. It's always the same, just field after field of grass. Sometimes there's cows, but even they've lost their novelty now.

Flipping open his laptop again, he opens up twitter, _again_. It's a lot of the same old, really. Tweets with names such as “FOLLOW ME NIALL xx” and “0/5 NIALL PLEASE.” Usually they just amuse him, but he's already so bored with it that he doesn't bother replying to anyone.

That's when he remembers that there's another breed of One Direction fans. On a website he and the lads jokingly refer to as “The Annex.”

tumblr.

Niall actually has a tumblr account. He doesn't post anything, and no one knows it's him. He just uses it to keep track of popular blogs when he actually feels like lurking around or finding a new twitter profile picture. 

He lazily scrolls through it, smirking at some of the text posts that actually have nothing to do with One Direction at all. He even smiles at some of the ones that do – because the fans are pretty amusing. Especially when they're griping about the tour or making fun of Harry for eating a banana.

Of course there's the image manipulations – those don't really entertain him. He sort of hates it when they make gifs of stupid faces he makes during interviews. And of course, the fan fictions.

Ugh, the fan fictions. He finds himself scrolling as fast as he possibly can but sometimes he just can't escape the plethora of dirty slash, as it's apparently called.

At least most of it is about Harry and Louis.

He shakes his head as he skims through a particular story.

_Harry plunged his tongue into Louis's mouth, feeling its way around the dark cavern like some kind of hungry snake._

Niall almost laughs out loud, because that's absolutely ridiculous. He keeps scrolling, quicker so he can get past the sex – because the last thing he wants to read about is Louis pounding Harry. Or is it Harry pounding Louis? Niall can never remember.

_“Hey mate, ya'll kept me up last night,” Niall said, stifling a yawn._

Niall cringes because he doesn't think he's ever uttered the word “y'all” in his life. Not even on accident when he's picked up too much American slang.

He shakes his head, because these girls write story after story about him, and even though they all praise each other on characterization, most of them are completely, totally off.

For one, he's not some fragile snowflake ready to break at any second because of a love confession gone awry. And Harry – he's not the completely oblivious womanizer he's made out to be. He's also not about to be broken anytime soon if Louis rejects him – in fact, if something like that were to happen, Niall's sure it would actually be the other way around.

He can probably write a better fan fiction than all of those girls combined, he reckons.

And because he's absolutely, utterly bored and there's still two hours of this trip to go, he opens up the word processor on his laptop and starts typing.

_Niall was bored. He was so incredibly bored. America was fun, yeah, but he missed the lads back home. The worst thing about America was that he couldn't have a pint. Because they had some godforsaken rule that you had to be twenty-one years old to drink! Absolute rubbish, because all Niall wanted to do was have a pint to make the long bus ride seem a little shorter and he'd already had a wank twice and needed some recovery time._

Niall smiles to himself. Nothing could be closer to the truth. Unfortunately these girls thought that their tour bus antics were all fun and games. He scratches the back of his head and continues writing.

_He decided to go to the to the kitchen to get a doughnut. The last he checked there were still three left in the box. He liked Krispy Kreme alright – one of the better things about coming to America, he supposed. But they were no pints, and that's all he really wanted. But if he had one Paul would probably ground him for life. Which would mean no pints even when he got back home._

_So he opened the box that was sitting on the table and sitting there was just a couple of sprinkles and some leftover jelly. Niall just laughed it off because it was only an empty box of doughnuts. No reason to get upset about them._

_But then he remembered all the other times that the lads had left the empty box out, fooling him into thinking that there were still some doughnuts left when in reality there was just some chocolate-stained cardboard._

Niall stops typing or a moment and smirks to himself, because he really feels proud of the line, “chocolate-stained cardboard.” 

“I'm a right JK Rowling,” he mutters to himself.

_He balled up his fists in rage, because maybe he'd yell or scream or go scratch the half-eaten doughnut right from Liam's mouth. He knew that Liam probably still had one, because he literally took forever to eat a doughnut._

_Right at that moment when Niall was about to leave the kitchen in search of his snack, Harry walked in. He was only wearing boxers, as usual, because that's what Harry did. At least he was wearing something because usually he was totally nude and didn't give a fuck who saw._

_“Hey mate,” Harry said, with a cheeky grin on his face. “What're you doing standing in here all by yourself?”_

_Niall shrugged, because as soon as he saw Harry he didn't really feel like yelling anymore. “I don't know. Looking for a snack, I suppose.”_

_“Well don't look in the doughnut box,” Harry said, laughing. “Because I've just eaten the last one.”_

_Niall laughed, but inside his stomach was screaming._

Niall smiles to himself, impressed with his ability to write such a believable story. 

_“S'all right,” he said, waving it off like it was nothing. Like he wasn't literally dying to taste the soft fried dough in his mouth. “I'll find something else.”_

_“When we stop I'll pick you up another Krispy Kreme,” Harry said, and Niall looked at him._

_He shook his head, because he didn't want Harry to have to do that. There were loads of snacks on the bus and Paul would likely give them shite for buying more food. “Nah, mate, don't worry about it.”_

_“No, it's fine. You're all Niall on the outside, but you're really Lou on the inside,” Harry laughed._

_Niall laughed too, because Lou was their synonym for “overly upset about something irrational.” When Lou had found out about that... well, he'd proved the namesake right, for starters. So obviously the lads just used it more._

_Harry put his arm around Niall, which was a bit weird given that Harry was still basically naked and Niall also wasn't sure if he'd showered yet that day. “Come on, let's go play a round of FIFA then.”_

Niall nods, thinking that's as good a place as any to end the scene. He thinks for a moment, and then shrugs as he highlights all the text. The entire point in writing that was to prove that his characterization of the lads was better than what those girls think they can do.

So he pastes it into his blog and adds some tags hoping that a few directioners will see it. Maybe once they do they'll start writing them more as normal lads and less overly Americanized dramatic versions of themselves. Who kiss each other – can't forget that.

He clicks “post” and then shuts off his laptop. Hopping out of his bunk, he goes off in search of Paul to find out when their next stop is, because after all that he's really craving a doughnut.

* * *

The next time Niall has a chance to check tumblr is after their concert in Dallas.

Again, he's finding himself bored, no one's online on account of the time difference, and there's far too much activity happening on the bus to wank.

He should have gone to the sleeper bus, god damn it.

Then he remembers he made a post on tumblr. With an almost giddy grin on his face he opens up the browser and clicks into his dashboard.

Not much is happening and he frowns. He's not actually used to the interface at all – it takes him a moment to find his notifications.

He has a couple likes and a couple reblogs on his post. Nothing special. Then he notices that he's got something in his inbox. Curious, he clicks into it.

_Hey! I really liked the beginning of your story... but it sort of needs a title lol. Are you going to continue with it? I hope you do because I really want to know what happens with Niall and Harry!! It seems so real.. and you can already tell there's something going on with the two of them lol keep writing, it's good!_

Niall looks at the page, stunned.

He hadn't actually realised he needed a title for his completely incoherent and truthful babble about their tour bus life. It's weird, but he finds himself wanting to continue with it. Even weirder is how he's tried to make it as real as possible, but it still seems like there's something going on with him and Harry. Apparently these girls will find hints in a conversation about _doughnuts_ of all things.

But in spite of the weirdness, Niall's feeling quite confident. After all, he's got a pretty good response considering he's never posted anything on tumblr before. 

So he types up a quick reply to the girl.

_Hey yeah thanks love!! glad u liked it xx_

He stares at it for a moment, because he sounds too much like himself. And he really doesn't want anyone to find out it's him. The last thing he needs is for the fans to figure out he's written a fan fiction. Then there really will be no end to the “OMG Niall is one of us!!!” posts on tumblr.

Because he's not.

Okay, maybe he is, but only for Justin Bieber. And only because he's idolized him since he was fifteen years old. And who else can say that they've gotten to eat noodles in their idols house? Not many.

Either way, he edits his message to her.

_Thank you so much!! It was my first attempt at writing something about 1d! I will continue it! I'm so happy you liked it omg!_

Niall grins and hits send, pleased with the way he's able to imitate his fans.

Then he opens up another text post and starts typing the second part of his story.

_Niall and Harry arrived at the gas station almost an hour later. Niall was starving by this point, having decided to wait on eating a snack on account of Harry so kindly offering to buy him some._

_When they walked into the shop, Niall made a beeline for the doughnut case. Harry was right after him, of course. So was Zayn, but he stopped before actually going into the shop because he had to smoke. Paul never allowed him to smoke on the bus, so this was routine whenever he needed to feed his nicotine addiction._

_“Harry, they have so many different kinds!” Niall said, looking at the variety of doughnuts._

_“Yeh,” Harry said, not paying much attention to Niall. Niall didn't notice though, he was fixated on the doughnuts. There were so many different ones and he was so hungry._

_“Holy shit,” Harry muttered. It was the last thing Niall heard before Harry was pushing him to the ground._

_Niall stops and scratches his head a bit. The story seems to have taken a life of its own – and its not very true to life anymore. No matter about that, he shrugs as he keep writing. He figures he has to keep it interesting and have some semblance of a plot._

_Niall's face was pressed against the dirty tiles of the floor. He could hear some rustling and then a gunshot went off. The cashier (he supposed, he couldn't exactly see given he was on the floor and Harry was on top of him) screamed and there was the sound of more rustling._

_Then the door opened._

_“It's safe,” they heard the cashier say in a shaky voice. “It's safe...”_

_Harry and Niall stood up, the doughnut long forgotten about. Niall wiped his hands on his trousers and looked at Harry._

_“I saw him come in,” Harry said slowly, staring at the door. “I didn't think...”_

_Niall was still shaken, and the blood began to return to his face. “Holy shit, mate,” he said as he began to process what had just happened. “You saved my life.”_

_Harry just shrugged as though it was normal. He just went around saving lives every day apparently. Well, actually he sort of did. When he was home he'd often go out and buy mass amounts of food for homeless people. That was quite nice of him – and Niall had always looked up to him in that way. Whenever he went home he just drank his weight in pints._

_Which probably wouldn't happen so much if he could just drink in America. Then he'd have more time to be charitable. Really, if they would just lower the drinking age in America it would make Niall a better person. It would probably make more people better people, because then they wouldn't have to lie about their ages to get a pint._

_“Nah, don't worry about it,” Harry said, walking towards the door._

_“You can't leave!” the cashier called after them. “The police are coming, they're going to want a statement.”_

_Niall nodded and looked back at Harry. Harry nodded too, but he still walked towards the door. “Just going to make sure Zayn's alright.”_

_So they peered outside. Zayn was nowhere to be found._

_Niall's stomach flip-slopped because what if something horrible happened to Zayn? What if the men realised who he was and kidnapped him for some ransom money and -_

_“Hey lads!” Zayn shouted out the window from inside the tour bus. “I'm fine! Just a bit of a scratch, they pushed me down on their way in.”_

_“What do we do?” Niall asked, looking back up at Harry._

_Harry shrugged as Paul stepped out of the tour bus and walked towards the two of them. “I suppose we stay here until the police come.”_

“Niall!” he's pulled out of his fantasy land by Louis rampaging the tour bus. “Niall!” He hears him get closer and closer until he can see the outline of Louis' head outside the curtain of his bunk.

“Yeh?” he asks, but doesn't draw the curtain until he minimizes his tumblr window. The last thing he needs is for Louis to see his stupid fan fiction. 

“Are you having a wank?” Louis asks cautiously.

“Hard to have a wank with you lot up and about,” Niall says with a bit of annoyance in his voice.

“No it isn't,” Louis laughs. And Niall supposes he's right – he's been caught more than once. He usually doesn't give a shit so he doesn't know why tonight is any different. “Anyway, we're playing FIFA. Liam needs someone on his team, and I already called dibs on Harry-”

“I don't want to play with Harry,” Niall interrupts, pulling the curtain back and looking at Louis. “He's rubbish at FIFA.”

“Good!” Louis says clapping his hands together. “So you'll come join us then?”

“Yeah,” Niall says, turning his attention back to his laptop. “Just a minute.”

Louis nods and walks away, shouting “Harry, Niall says you're rubbish at FIFA!” as he goes. 

Niall just shakes his head. He thinks for a moment – the girl who messaged him told him he needed a title. So he thinks quickly and decides to call it _One Time_. Because of the Justin Bieber song, of course. Good enough, he thinks.

He hits post and it's forgotten about as he hops out of his bunk to join the lads for FIFA.


	2. Chapter 2

FIFA is awkward.

No one notices it except for Niall, of course. In fact, the only thing the others do notice is how terrible he's doing at the game. Which is only really bothering Liam.

“Niall!” Liam shouts, throwing his controller down onto the floor. “What is wrong with you, mate? That was a simple move! And you've completely missed it.”

“Sorry,” Niall says with a shrug. 

Harry and Louis just laugh and high-five. “Great work, Nialler,” Louis says, patting him on the shoulder. “Really, keep it up mate.”

Liam glares at the two of them, and then glares at Niall again.

Niall ignores him and looks back over at Harry and Louis, and then he gets lost in his thoughts again.

Harry starts up a new game, and Niall watches as he and Louis pick out what their team is going to be, and which other players they're going to have as computer controlled. He takes note of Harry's facial expressions, how he interacts with Louis and the way he structures his sentences.

“Hey Harry,” Niall says, and the words have left his mouth before he has a chance to stop them.

“Yeah?” Harry asks, laughing and shoving Louis to the side after he's done something on the screen.

“Uh,” Niall doesn't actually know what he meant to say. All he'd been thinking about was mulling over if Harry actually would have pushed him down so dramatically had he seen a robber.

And also, why would such a person show up at the same convenience store they'd parked their bus at? That was a bit of a coincidence. Maybe a way for that to make more sense and have some sort of bearing on the plot was because he was actually looking for them specifically.

But then why wouldn't he have done something to Zayn? Or left without hurting himself and Harry who were on the ground?

“Niall!” Liam pulls him out of his thoughts. “Are you playing FIFA or not? Because it's time to pick our team and you'd better be more alert this time.”

Niall nods and he hears Louis giggling in the background. He looks back at the two of them, and Louis is actually quite cuddled up to Harry. 

He can't stop thinking about tumblr. And he can't stop looking at Louis and Harry as though they were a gif. What would the fans think if they say the two of them intertwined like that?

They'd probably use it as more proof that Larry was an actual couple. Which is utter bullshit. Niall's pretty sure if he were to utter the word 'Larry' Louis would choke him with the cord of his playstation controller.

“Yeh,” Niall says, picking his character and working with Liam to create their team.

They lose again, and Liam declares he's going to sleep.

* * *

Niall wakes up sometime around noon the next day. He reaches under the covers of his bunk somewhere for his phone... and eventually he finds it. He doesn't know how that happens literally every night, but he figures it must have something to do with him falling asleep as he's scrolling through twitter.

Naturally the first thing he does when he wakes up is check twitter. And then he posts an update informing the world and his fans that he's indeed woken up, and in turn opens himself up to be bombarded with five million mentions instead of just four million.

He also has a text from his mum, which is roughly the size of a small novel. He'll answer her later, because speaking of novels, he's eager to check tumblr to see if he's got any more comments.

There isn't much. Just a couple of likes and another comment in his ask box. The comment is from the same girl who had messaged him the day before.

_Wow, it's really interesting where you're going with this! I am looking forward to more! I liked what you did with harry i could totally picture him doing that! And poor niall was so scared. Am still wondering whats going to happen between the two of them now that harry has basically saved his life. Niall will have to 'repay' him! Haha! Love it._

Niall is grinning ear to ear after reading her comment. It's pretty fun to have the secret hobby that he can work on and still show off to the world.

He's only slightly troubled by her implying that _something_ is going to happen between himself and Harry. He contemplates writing back to her that not every story has to be about two of the band members banging (or five of them altogether, as Niall stumbled upon when he was scrolling down his dash) but he also doesn't want to lose his only reader. Or at least, his only person giving him feedback. Because then this would get boring, and right now it's a good way to kill time on the tour bus.

So he types up a simple reply, trying overly hard to sound different than how he talks on twitter.

_Omg thank u!! this is my first ever fan fiction so i'm so happy you're reading! I reckon you'll just have to wait and see what happens with niall and harry! Haha xx_

He hits send, satisfied with his vague answer. Nothing is actually going to happen with Niall and Harry. Nothing that she hopes is going to happen, anyway. But she'll have to keep reading to find out. Not everything has to end with pounding!

He actually has to scroll back to his text post to see where he left off. Ah, right. The police were coming.

_Niall and Harry stood around the shop as they waited for the police. After a couple of minutes, Niall had calmed down and remembered the real reason they'd entered the shop: doughnuts. He reminded Harry, to which Harry rolled his eyes, but since he'd promised, he bought three doughnuts._

_One for Niall, one for himself, and one for the girl behind the counter. “Don't cry love,” he'd said as he paid. “One of these is for you.”_

_Niall rolled his eyes as he took a bite. Harry was always good at charming the ladies. Niall supposed that's where he got his reputation from – but he really was just a nice guy like that. He wasn't trying to hook up with her or anything like that. But that's what the media always blew it up to be – anytime he was nice to a girl or called her “love” suddenly they were shagging. Apparently the media forgot that Harry was British and everyone and their cousin was called “love.”_

_Well, every girl, anyway. Harry never called any of the lads his love. That was always “mate”, or “bro” if he was feeling overly American. It probably would have been weird if Harry had called any of them love. Or if any of them had called Harry love._

_“Thanks for the doughnut, love,” Niall said with a grin, thinking he'd try it out and see what the outcome was._

_Turned out, Harry thought that Niall was making fun of him for what he'd said to the cashier. He gave Niall a bit of a look and went back to comforting her. Niall just shrugged and continued eating his doughnut._

_Eventually the police showed up. Their questions were pretty standard and boring. “Did you get a look at his face?” “No.” “Did they say anything, did you catch what they sounded like?” “No.” “Did you see what type of vehicle they were driving?” “No.”_

_So nothing helpful, and they left saying they'd do their best to try and find the guy, but of course they probably wouldn't be able to._

_Niall looked back at Harry, who was now standing behind the register with the girl. He'd actually helped her serve a couple of customers and Niall was getting impatient._

_For what, he actually didn't know. Because the tour bus was really boring, but he sort of wanted to leave because the whole thing was too weird. Plus the doughnut was finished._

_“Harry, let's go, mate,” Niall said, nodding towards the door._

_“Alright, alright,” he said, looking at the girl apologetically. “Are you going to be okay?”_

_The girl nodded and said something quietly that Niall couldn't hear._

_Harry leaned over and whispered something back to her._

_Niall was beginning to get kind of annoyed. He didn't want to get in shit with Paul just because Harry was too busy chatting up some girl. “Harry,” he said firmly._

_Harry nodded his head and looked at Niall, then back at the girl. “Sorry, love, keep in touch, okay?” The girl nodded at him and Harry followed Niall out of the shop and back onto the bus._

_“Come on, Nialler,” Harry said, putting his arm around Niall's shoulders. “What's wrong? You're not usually this grumpy.”_

_Niall shrugged. He figured witnessing a gas station robbery probably had something to do with it. But he didn't really want to get into it so he didn't say anything. He just wanted to get back on the bus and get moving, honestly. Then he could go back to his twitter, possibly have a wank (not a pint though, because America) and forget it all happened._

_“Is it because you're jealous?” Harry laughed._

_Niall shoved him. Of course it wasn't that!_

_“You know I love you the best!” Harry laughed, leaning over and kissing Niall on the cheek._

_“Knock it off, Harry,” Niall said, but grinned all the same as they stepped back onto the bus._

Niall stretches his arms as he finishes the scene and reads over what he's just written. He's actually forgotten to add something in about the robbers having some kind of motive, but he figures that's okay. He can just add that in later. 

Plus he hasn't really figured out what that motive is or where the story is going or anything. He'll just figure it out as he writes it. Or as people comment and give him little hints. That'll help. Maybe that girl will predict something and he can use her idea.

He grins to himself, posts it as _One Time Part 3_ , snaps his laptop shut and goes off into the kitchen area in search of breakfast. Or lunch at this point, he figures, as it's already nearly 1pm.


	3. Chapter 3

Niall fidgets as Harry sings his solo at the end of _What Makes You Beautiful._

He looks down at his feet and then back up at Harry as the rest of them stand behind him. He watches as Harry takes a breath and struggles to sing the entire thing in one go. He never can, because it's bloody impossible. Niall knows – he's tried. Anytime he heard the song on the radio (which was a _lot_ a year ago) he would sing along and attempt to sing the solo all in one breath.

He can't do it.

Neither can Harry, because he ends up taking a short breath in the middle and missing some of the words.

Niall shakes his head slightly as the five of them separate the finish the song. They jump down underneath the stage and hear towards the tour bus – the same as they do every night.

“Harry,” Niall says once they're back on the bus and en route to the next stop on the tour. It's only the two of them on the awake bus tonight – Louis, Liam and Zayn have all headed for a night of sleep.

But Niall finds he can never fall asleep until at least 2 or 3 am. 

“Yeah?” Harry asks, looking down at his phone.

“Why don't you just ask them to change the arrangement of What Makes You Beautiful?” he asks, looking at his friend. They're sitting in the lounge area of the bus – it's where they played FIFA the night before. There's a couch and a TV with a PlayStation. There's also a couple of beanbag chairs because Niall and Louis saw them when they were out shopping one day and thought they were a good idea.

“What?”

Niall shrugs. “It's just that you always have trouble singing it, you should ask them to change it.”

“It's our biggest hit, Niall. We can't change it.”

Niall doesn't think that's actually true, he's sure that if the five of them agreed they wanted it changed, it'd get changed. They have far more control than most people figure they would. He sort of believes that Harry actually likes it the way it is – the way that he can't sing it. Partially because he wants to challenge himself every night to get it right, and partially because he always knows he won't.

Harry's always been a little bit self-destructive like that. At least, as long as Niall has known him.

“Yeah, I suppose so.”

Harry changes the subject. “I reckon the lads didn't actually want to sleep, but talk to their girlfriends on the phone,” he laughs.

Niall nods and laughs too. It's often that their group is separated by taken and not taken – which is to say it's Liam, Louis and Zayn segregating themselves from Niall and Harry. 

Niall's fine with that, he doesn't want to hear about Perrie's shoe collection anyway. It's not as fascinating as Zayn thinks it is.

Niall looks out the window of the bus as it rolls out of the city and onto yet another highway. Niall has no idea how the bus driver knows where he's going – all of America looks the same as far as he's concerned. He closes his eyes for a moment. He's actually quite tired for once – maybe he should have gone onto the sleeper bus after all.

“You texting that girl from the shop?” he asks as he opens his eyes slightly, glancing over at Harry who's still on his phone.

Harry gives him an odd look. 

Then Niall realises he's actually confused real life with his fan fiction. There's no real girl from the shop – and Harry definitely hadn't saved him from any type of robbery. “Oh, nevermind,” Niall laughs, plastering a big grin on his face as he usually does when he's feeling awkward about something.

“What shop?” Harry presses, looking up from his phone. He's actually more interested in what Niall's saying now than whatever he'd been up to on his phone.

“Nothing,” Niall laughs again. “Had you confused with someone else. Who met this girl in a shop.”

Harry nods, satisfied with that response. He goes back to whatever he was doing on his phone.

Niall sighs, retreating from the entertainment room to his bunk. Harry's obviously more interested in whatever he's up to to be bothered with Niall. Which Niall is fine with – he's actually looking forward to seeing what tumblr has to say about his latest post. And possibly writing more of it.

When he logs on he's slightly disappointed to see that he only has one message – no likes or reblogs.

But at least his message is from his usual reader. 

_Omg your latest chapter! You're so quick with updating i love it! I wish your chapters were longer though :( and harry loves niall the best awwwww nialler was so jealous of the girl!!_

Niall raises his eyebrow a little bit. He didn't think he'd written himself to be jealous of the girl! He just wanted Niall and Harry to get out of the shop because that bit was boring once the action had stopped.

_Hey thanks! I will try to write longer chapters in the future but im so busy, don't have a lot of time for writing ! Haha_

He hits send, then he decides he'd better get moving on the next part. He tries to think about what he would actually feel like if he and Harry had actually witnessed a store getting robbed.

He probably would have been scared, he thinks. Especially if there had been some kind of gunshot like he'd written. He also probably would have tried to shield it from the other lads, because that's who he was. He liked to shrug things off and not make a big deal about them, even if they were really bothering him.

_Niall and Harry made it back onto the bus and were instantly greeted with a sassy remark from Louis._

_“Can't you lads go anywhere without almost getting killed?” he snickered._

_Niall laughed, even though Louis's comment made his stomach hurt. What had happened back there really could have turned out much worse. Especially if Harry's quick thinking handle landed him on the floor._

_“Right, well lads it's been a real exciting day but I'm knackered,” he said, darting towards his bunk._

_He actually wasn't that tired, but he wasn't in the mood for anymore comments from the rest of them._

_“Knock it off, Lou,” he heard Liam say in the background. Niall was thankful for that – good old Liam. He could always count on him to keep his head in a crisis. Always knew the right thing to do and say. He probably would have been good to have in the shop during all of that nonsense. Likely would have been chatting with Niall while they waited for the police instead of chatting up the girl at the counter._

“Hey Niall,” Harry's voice pulls Niall out of his fantasy fan fiction world and brings him back to the actual tour bus he's on. 

“Yeah,” Niall calls out, still staring at the screen.

“Are you alright, mate?” he asks, and Niall can hear him coming closer to the bunk. He minimizes his browser window and waits for Harry to show up. He does – about 2 seconds later and pokes his head behind the curtain into the bunk. “You got up and left rather quickly.”

Niall just gives him a look and laughs. “I'm fine, Curly. Just wanted to check out what was happening on Skype.” It's obvious bullshit, but it's better than telling Harry he was eager to work on his fan fiction.

“Well when you're done with that, you want to play a round of FIFA?”

“You're rubbish at FIFA,” Niall laughs. 

Harry just shrugs, his head still stuck inside of the bunk. “Beat you at FIFA yesterday. Twice.”

Niall can't argue with that. Besides, the whole reason he came onto the awake bus was because he didn't want to sleep and was still feeling energized after the show. “Yeah, alright. Just give me a few more minutes.”

Harry nods and ducks his head out of the curtain.

Niall opens his tumblr back up. That conversation he had with Harry was actually a pretty good one – he could use that in his story right now, in fact!

_Niall sat in his bunk and played around with his phone a little bit. He sort of wondered how long it would take for something about what had just happened to show up on gossip sites. He actually hoped it wouldn't. Normally he didn't care but he really didn't fancy the idea of explaining his story a thousand times to the press._

_He heard footsteps come towards his bunk and prepared himself for Liam to come ask how he was doing. Then he prepared himself to tell Liam he was fine and laugh with a joke about how nothing could take him down._

_But it wasn’t Liam – it was actually Harry's voice who startled Niall. “Niall?” he asked, sticking his head inside the curtain. “Are you alright, mate? You got up and left rather quickly.”_

_Niall looked at Harry and grinned. “Yeah, of course! Why wouldn't I be?”_

_“Because we just witnessed a robbery at gunpoint,” Harry said slowly, but seriously. He wasn't sarcastic like Lou usually was._

_“Yeah,” Niall shrugged._

_“If you want to talk about it, I'm here.”_

_Niall nodded. He didn't really want to talk about it. “It's cool. Really.”_

_Harry stood there for a moment, then nodded and walked away._

_Niall picked up his phone and played around with it some more. Twitter wasn't really interesting to him. In fact all he could really think about was he stuck on the floor for a few minutes. Even though it was a few minutes it actually felt like hours. In those minutes he hadn't known if he was going to live or die or what was going to happened. All he knew was that Harry had saved him, and was shielding him from whatever was going on._

_“Hey Harry,” Niall called out, sicking his head out of the curtain._

_Seconds later, Harry was walking towards him down the aisle of bunks. “Yeah?”_

_“Sorry,” he said awkwardly. He didn't usually do serious conversations. “Did you want to talk about what happened?”_

_Harry shrugged. Niall sort of hoped that he would say no – but he also knew that wouldn't be the case. Harry always needed to talk about what happened. Even when he didn't think he needed to talk about what happened, he did. Like when he'd messed up his solo on TV for the first time. He'd been so upset about it and it wasn't until Louis had hugged him and told him that it was okay that everything had come spilling out._

_Niall had just stood there and listened, because Louis and Liam (and sort of Zayn) were the ones who were good at that kind of thing. Niall was good at going for pints and have a laugh and get your mind off things._

_He wished he could do that now. He hated being nineteen._

_“Yeah, I don't know. It was scary to think that we worked so hard and it could have all ended for us just like that, you know?”_

_Niall nodded. Yeah, he knew._

_“And even for the other boys. You know? I suppose we'd have been dead, so we wouldn't care that our careers were over but they would care and that would be pretty awful.”_

_Niall nodded again. Yeah, that was true. Suppose if he was dead he wouldn't be able to care._

_“Thanks for doing that, then,” Niall said, because he felt like he should thank Harry. And he really did want to thank Harry – he was just rubbish and this sort of thing._

_Harry smiled – he actually smiled, not the weird popstar one that he put on for the camera sometimes. Niall could tell the difference. He had the weird popstar one on when he was talking to the girl in the shop too. But Niall felt special that Harry was only smiling for him. So he leaned in and hugged Harry because that seemed like the right thing to do._

_They hugged for a moment and then Niall pulled away slightly, feeling a little bit better. But Harry didn't pull away, instead he leaned in closer and kissed him on the lips._

“Niall! Mate are you coming?! I've got FIFA all set up!”

Niall nods his head slowly, staring at what he's just written. He hadn't even meant to write that – again his fingers banging on the keys of his macbook had created the story all on their own. He contemplates just deleting it.

“Niall!”

He can hear Harry rushing towards his bunk. Niall panics because if Harry couldn't see it before – he definitely can't see it now. He quickly types up the title, posts it and snaps his laptop shut.

“Yeah, yeah, I'm coming,” Niall laughs, hopping out of his bunk and following Harry back towards the entertainment area. 

He glances back at his laptop. What's done is done, he supposes. At least his reader is going to be pleased with him.


	4. Chapter 4

Niall wakes up the next day with Harry shaking his shoulder.

“Mmph,” he says, hugging his pillow tighter.

“Niall,” Harry says, for what's probably the fourth or fifth time. “Niall.”

“Yeh,” Niall mutters, only half opening his eyes. 

“We have a soundcheck in thirty minutes. You'd better get ready or Paul's going to have a fit.”

Niall just grumbles and nods, which is enough to satisfy Harry. He leaves, and Niall sits up in his bunk, scratching his head.

He and Harry played a few rounds of FIFA the night before, and then Niall stayed up late because his mum called him on Skype. She hadn't even lectured him for being up way too late – and it wasn't like she didn't know. Maura knows more about the timezones that Niall does – she's always keeping up on what time it is where her son is.

Niall finds it nice, actually. Even if he'll never admit it. His mum is still able to look out for him even when he's on the other side of the world.

He grumbles and goes to the back of the bus to have a quick shower before heading into the venue for soundcheck. He doesn't even know what city he's in. It doesn't matter though, Paul will be sure to tell him as soon as he sees him. Or he'll hear one of the other lads say it on the stage when trying to get screams out of the fans.

He pulls his t-shirt off and tosses it into his bunk. He does a quick glance around to see if anyone else is in the area before pulling his boxers off, because unlike Harry he's not one to want to walk around naked in front of anyone else really.

He doesn't have time to actually _enjoy_ his shower. He just stands there for a couple minutes with the hot water running over him before soaping himself up. He also doesn't have any of their Redken shampoo in this bus – so he just washes his hair with the bodywash he's got. Their stylist makes them use this fancy shampoo to keep their hair as shiny and healthy as possible, but Niall doesn't think it actually does anything. In fact, he's pretty sure the bodywash is just as good. If not better, because it takes less time in the shower.

Okay, about four seconds less, but still less! And they're usually on a tight schedule in the mornings (or early afternoons, which count as mornings for him, basically) so he can use all the time he can get.

The shower is quick, but boring so naturally his mind starts to wander.

And it wanders straight into his creative project for the moment. His increasingly more embarrassing fan fiction. Where he's kissing Harry of all things. It's fucking weird, and he sort of wishes he hadn't posted it because he can't go back.

Or maybe he can. Much like the robbery bit he begins to wonder what he'd actually do if Harry randomly kissed him like that.

It's hard for him to even imagine, because it's something that would never, ever happen. Harry would certainly never kiss him, and Niall would...

He would what? He doesn't even know, it's so incomprehensible. And now he's written himself into a corner, which is frustrating because the whole point in doing this was so he could write a better and more accurate story than his fans who seem to think they know him and exactly how he'll react to every insane dramatic situation.

He takes a deep breath and then almost laughs.

How ridiculous that he's actually getting frustrated over some silly tumblr thing that he's largely started to kill tour bus boredom.

There are better ways of killing tour bus boredom, he remembers as he reaches downwards. He doesn't have a lot of time, but there's enough. Enough for a fairly quick tug, anyway.

The water runs over his body and he grips himself. He's semi-hard already, given that he's just woken up and all. Gripping his cock he starts to pump it, trying to focus on his slippery hand so this only takes a few minutes.

But his mind is in another place – he's still sort of thinking about his story, and what his commenter will think of him and Harry kissing. And then he starts trying to imagine his reaction again.

Then it gets weird, because he realises he's thinking about kissing Harry while he's wanking. The two thoughts aren't related – he was just thinking! Even still, he moves his hand and gives up. It's clearly not happening right now – he'll just try again later. 

He rinses himself off and dries off as quick as he can. Then he wraps the towel around his waist. When he exits the bathroom, he sees Harry standing right there.

“Ah!” Niall exclaims, because he didn't expect that and it's weird on account of other _reasons_ that Harry obviously has no clue about.

“Sorry,” Harry laughs, stepping into the bathroom. “Had to use the toilet.” Then he steps into the bathroom and closes the door. 

Niall sighs because that's completely normal, and now he's acting weird for no reason.

Twenty minutes later, they're on the stage at the venue in front of a hundred or so girls who were lucky enough to get a VIP pass.

They're singing _Over Again_ as one of their songs for soundcheck today. Niall likes that one – he gets to play guitar, he has a fairly substantial solo and he can sing it well. He's not an idiot – he knows his voice is much better suited to this type of song than say, _Kiss You_.

Yeah, he definitely hates singing that song live and it only has half to do with how terrible he sounds on it. The other half is because his actual lyrics are stupid. 

But he really does like _Over Again_. They harmonize on the chorus and when it's Harry's turn to sing, Niall looks over at him.

He's always been jealous of the power behind Harry's voice, but this time he's not really paying attention to that. Instead he's just watching the movements of Harry's mouth as he sings.

_“Can we take the same road two days in the same clothes...”_

Niall watches as Harry licks his lips before he sings. Then he just gets right into it, opening his mouth wide (he'd have to since his voice is so big) and letting the words fall out in perfect pitch.

_“And I know just what she'll say if I can make all this pain go...”_

He wonders what it would be like to be kissed by those lips. Even if it was really weird and out of place (and it would be) he still wonders what it would feel like for that split second before he pushed Harry away in disgust. Because it would be in disgust! They're close, but they're not _that_ kind of close.

_“Can we stop this for a minute, you know, I can tell that your heart isn't in it, or with it...”_

Then Louis starts singing again and Niall has to drag his eyes away from Harry so it isn't weird. Because if he doesn't, he knows now better than ever that there'll be a million photos on tumblr. There probably already will be.

After the soundcheck, Niall eats supper with the lads from 5SOS and there's nothing weird about it.

Because none of them had kissed him in a fan fiction that he wrote.

* * *

Niall gets back on the awake bus after the show that night. This time it's not just him and Harry – Louis has joined them. Which means that Louis and Harry have gone off to do their own thing, leaving Niall to his own devices.

Sure, Niall could join them if he wanted to. He just doesn't really want to. What he really wants to do is check tumblr for any more comments on his story. Besides, whenever he hangs out with Louis and Harry he sort of feels like the third wheel. Which is annoying him more at this moment than it really should.

His latest update has two likes, one reblog and he has two comments in his ask box. Niall is practically giddy.

One of his comments is from his regular reader. It's simple.

_Yay they finally kissed! I knew there was something going on with them lol great work as always the boys are so real! Xx_

He grins and types out a reply to her. At least she was happy with his portrayal of himself and his best mates in the world.

_Omg thanks so much! I spend so much time on one direction you have no idea so i hope that i would be able to get their personalities right!! hahaha_

He grins and hits send because he's actually being truthful – she just doesn't have to know in what way.

The other comment is good too. 

_I am really enjoying this, it's kind of got the same plot as a lot of other fanfics but it's so different too. I can't explain it. I just want to keep reading. Post more soon!_

He responds to her as well, and he's a bit happier about it because at least there's no explicit comment about him and Harry kissing. 

_Hey thanks love! You are so kind I am so excited that you like it and think it's different, I am writing more now!!_

He sends that comment off too and then opens up a post to begin his next instalment.

_Niall shoved Harry away as soon as he realised what was going on. “Harry! What the fuck, mate?!”_

_Harry wiped his mouth and looked at Niall apologetically. “Sorry,” he said slowly. “I don't know why I did that.”_

_Niall looked at him and also tried to figure out why he would do that. It was weird because he'd never had any sort of indication that Harry liked boys, and even weirder, that Harry might like him. They were all really close, he supposed, and maybe they touched each other more than most lads did... but that was just because they were so close and spent so much time together. They were like brothers, they always described themselves that way, and brothers certainly didn't kiss!!_

_“It's alright,” Niall sighed, waving it off and laughing a bit. “Just been a weird day.”_

_“Yeah,” Harry nodded. “Just needed a bit of comfort, I suppose.”_

_“S'alright.”_

_The two boys looked at each other a little awkwardly and then burst into a strange fit of giggles._

_“Well, at least we're not worrying about what would have happened if we died anymore!” Niall pointed out, still laughing. It was such an absurd situation that he couldn't not laugh._

_“I'll say,” Harry smiled. He wasn't laughing as much as Niall. But that was alright, Niall thought. He was probably sort of embarrassed. Which was weird, because Harry didn't usually embarrass. He just shrugged things off. It was only when he was upset with himself that he got upset, like when he knew he'd pissed Louis off or something. But if he fell down or did something weird it didn't bother him. Not unless he thought it bothered someone else. And since Niall was laughing, he clearly wasn't bothered._

_Well, he was kind of bothered, but Harry didn't have to know that. It'd only make him feel bad, and Niall didn't want that. They'd been through enough shite over the course of the day so far and there was no reason to add to it._

_“I'm here for you, mate,” Niall said, patting Harry on the shoulder and still grinning. “Just no more of that.”_

_Harry nodded again and smiled gratefully at Niall. “Yeah, thanks, alright.”_

_Then he left. Niall stared at the ceiling of his bunk._

_What a weird day._

Reading over what he's written, Niall wonders if it's enough. He's never been much of a storyteller, but it seems like it's missing something. Maybe he'll do something with the robbers in the next chapter. He doesn't actually know. At least the bit with Harry kissing him (as weird and random as that was) had made it kind of interesting.

But he shrugs and doesn't worry about it so much. Once he posts it, he decides to go see what Louis and Harry are up to. Even if they do platonically third wheel him, it'll be nowhere near as awkward as what Niall just wrote.


	5. Chapter 5

The next day is a travel day, which means there's no show. It's not as good as a day off seeing as they're stuck in the confines of the bus, but at least they get a bit of rest without their usual crazy schedule.

Louis and Harry having some kind of argument wakes Niall up. He wakes up annoyed (as annoyed as he gets anyway, which isn't very) because he was having a particularly nice dream about Demi Lovato.

They weren't doing anything in the dream – just walking around outside of a cafe in Paris and laughing about something. He also vaguely remembered eating an eclair, which was quite nice because that's one of the things he likes the most about Paris. The eclairs.

And now Harry and Louis having an argument ruined it all. Paris was a lot better when they weren't involved.

_“Harry,_ ” Louis stresses, and Niall can practically picture the vein popping out of his neck like it always does when he's annoyed over something stupid. It probably does that when he gets annoyed over things that aren't stupid as well, but that never happens so Niall doesn't know for sure. “It's not rocket science. Now I've got to drink a warm Pepsi, it's bloody annoying.”

Oh, he's upset about the drinks in the fridge rule. This isn't the first time and it probably won't be the last time.

“Sorry,” Harry mutters, and even though Niall's still in his bunk, he can picture Harry staring at his phone, trying not to laugh.

“I'm trying to understand,” Louis says, and Niall imagines him placing his hand on his forehead, and then taking it away and waving it around dramatically. “Why it's so difficult for you to place another can in the fridge when you take one out.”

“I forgot,” Harry says plainly. 

Louis sighs dramatically.

“Sorry,” Harry says again, not really sounding sorry at all. He doesn't sound angry (Harry rarely sounds angry) he just says it. “Whenever I take a drink I'm not thinking about the next person who wants a drink, I'm only thinking about how I want one right at that moment. It's not a very good system.”

Louis gasps as though Harry had said something horrible about his mother. 

Niall grins as he listens to them. 

“It's a very good system but it only works if everyone involved actually participates,” Louis says, and Niall chooses that moment to leave his bunk and join them in the kitchen.

“Morning, lads,” he grins as he steps into the kitchen. “Got any Pepsi?”

Louis glares at him, but Harry laughs and gives Niall a look – he knows that he's just having a laugh because he obviously heard them arguing.

“Cheeky, Horan,” Louis says, rolling his eyes. “Don't forget you're stuck with me on this bus for the entire day.”

Niall shrugs as he pours himself a glass of orange juice because there are worse places to be. 

_Like stuck on the floor of a shop while it's getting robbed._

He nearly chokes on his orange juice as he giggles to his own lame comment inside his head. The other two boys don't even give this a second look – it wouldn't be the first time Niall had thought or said something and been the only one who found it hilarious.

“What were you up to last night, then?” Harry asks him and again Niall shrugs.

“Skype. Twitter. You know, the usual.”

_Writing fan fiction and the fallout of fictional Niall being kissed by fictional Harry._

Harry just nods and Louis walks out of the kitchen like a diva, because he clearly felt he wasn't being paid enough attention. Niall raises his eyebrow and looks at Harry.

“Oh that Lou,” Harry says with a laugh. “He's being so... _Lou_.”

Niall laughs like it's the funniest thing he's ever heard.

“I heard that!” Louis shouts from wherever he's gone on the bus.

Niall laughs even harder.

* * *

Cramped up in his bunk, Niall scrolls through his tweets quickly. He also checks his email quickly. There's one from his dad – he'll answer it later. There's one from Denise – probably some pictures of his nephew. He scrolls through them quickly and smiles. Theo really is adorable.

He doesn't even bother logging into Skype at this point – he has no interest in chatting with anyone. The thing he's most interested in his tumblr, and if he's got any comments over there. So he opens it up.

A few likes. No reblogs. One comment from his trusty most faithful reader.

Niall's starting to really like her.

_I can't believe Niall just pushed harry away like that! Doesn't he know how much they need each other? Update soon!!!_

Niall frowns but quickly presses his lips together as he thinks of a response. He supposes he can't fault her too much for only focusing on the kissing bit – that's all he'd written about, after all. But that was done and over with so it shouldn't be the focus of the story anymore!

Even though he doesn't really know what the focus of the story is anymore.

_Omg thanks for your comment! I am updating soon!!!_

He hits send. He probably should have said something a little more to her, but he really doesn't want to talk about the kissing part because it's just going to encourage her.

Then he opens up a new text post and stares at it.

He has no bloody idea what to write. His brain is blank. He doesn't know where to go from here. Maybe the story is over... but he doesn't really feel that way. There's so much more to tell and yet there's nothing at all that comes to him.

He's never had this type of a problem before. Even when writing songs they just come to him easily as he's playing around with his guitar. Like he's known them all along and they're just choosing that moment to leak out of his fingertips and onto the strings.

Maybe typing the title in will help, he thinks. So he types in _One Time Part_... what part is he on? Six, he's pretty sure. So he puts that in and stares at it.

Now it's even more intimidating than it was before.

So much for that helping.

He put his head in his hands and tries to think. What else was happening in his story? They were on tour, then the robbery happened, then that weird kissing thing happened.

He supposes he can go back to the robbery bit.

_A couple of days later the bus stopped at another shop for gas._

Niall stares at the sentence. Yeah, he thinks that's okay. There can be some time elapsed in stories, right? They don't have to follow the entire length of time it takes place. He's pretty sure it's okay to skip some irrelevant stuff.

_As usual Louis stayed in his bunk. Liam didn't budge because he didn't need anything from the shop. Usually Zayn would go outside for a smoke, but he didn't this time. Niall thought it was because he'd actually found a way to smoke on the bus by slightly opening a window and blowing smoke out of it. But that was alright – if it was that, he wasn't going to tell anyone._

_Niall was actually craving a snickers bar. So he went to get off the bus and get one from the shop._

_He was halfway towards the store when he heard footsteps behind him._

_“Niall!” he heard Harry call, and he looks back. “Wait up mate, I just -”_

_A gunshot cut him off. This time Niall was the one who pushed Harry to the ground. But somehow he still ended up underneath him – probably because Harry was about twice his size. Not because he was fat, just because Niall was small. Short even. He'd never been a big guy, and training in the gym was difficult for that reason. As it was it was a miracle he has any muscle on him at all._

_They lay there still for a couple of seconds before sitting up and looking at each other in horror. Unlike the doughnut from last time, Niall's snickers bar is suddenly long forgotten about._

_“Harry,” Niall said, his voice shaking. “Your arm.”_

_Indeed, Harry's arm was bleeding. It actually looked like just a graze, but it was still scary._

_“LADS!” Paul shouted at them from inside the bus. “BACK ON THE BUS. NOW.”_

_Niall and Harry nodded, getting up and running as fast as they could back to the bus. Niall covers his head with his hands as he runs, not wanting to take the chance that another stray bullet will come and be more accurate this time._

_“What is going on?” Harry asked once they were safely back inside. “Why are we getting shot at?”_

_“Maybe it has something to do with that robbery the other day,” Niall said. “Maybe they're after us because we saw them.”_

_Niall shrugged. He hoped it wasn't that – but it very likely could have been. They'd never actually been shot at before. There'd been a number of times Niall had thought his life was in danger – but that was mostly when they were being attacked by mobs of girls. There was one time in particular that he and Liam had gone out in New York City and they'd been mobbed. Niall remembered freaking out so much that it felt like there was a weight on his chest keeping him from breathing. It had taken him nearly two days to feel okay enough to go outside again._

_And it was strange, but he actually felt less scared and threatened now than he had back then._

_“Maybe,” Harry sighed, as he looked over at Paul. He was on the phone with someone, probably telling them what happened and maybe getting some extra security. Niall didn't know – whatever Paul did was a mystery to him. He just knew that he had a lot of rules that were designed to keep him out of trouble._

_So much for that – even someone as big and powerful as Paul couldn't stop a bullet if it really wanted to be in Niall's or Harry's head._

_“Should put a band-aid on that,” Louis said, eyeing Harry's arm. “Don't want it to stain your shirt.”_

_“Knock it off, Lou!” Niall suddenly shouted, and everyone turned to look at him. Probably because Niall never shouted about anything, but he was starting to feel very overwhelmed. Maybe he wasn't as far off from the New York mobbing day as he'd thought._

_“We've just been shot at and all you can think about is his shirt? Christ.”_

_“Sorry,” Louis said slowly, looking at Niall. “I was only having a laugh. Of course I don't want you to be hurt.”_

_“Okay,” Niall said, shrugging and feeling instantly bad about his outburst._

_“Paul won't let anything happen to us,” Liam said, nodding over in Paul's direction._

_Niall knew he was only trying to reassure him, and Louis and Zayn nodded along with him with encouraging smiles._

_But Niall and Harry looked at each other. Neither of them smiled, their faces were still solemn._

_They couldn't be so sure._

Niall's feeling rather pleased with himself at this point. He's gotten rid of all the weird stuff and he's managed to make his story exciting again. He still doesn't actually know why they're getting shot at, but he's confident he'll figure it out eventually.

He hits post on it, but instead of closing out tumblr, he clicks around on it for a bit. He searches the One Direction and Niall Horan tags, thinking maybe he'll find a new profile picture for twitter.

There's still an abundance of fan fiction in the tags, but Niall finds that it bothers him less. All these girls are just like him, just trying to tell a story. Maybe they don't know where it's going, maybe they do.

Okay, theirs are all probably going the way of more kissing and less pushing away, but Niall finds even that doesn't bother him as much. Probably because he has this new appreciation for the actual writing process, or whatever they call it.

He skims a few of them, but then he gets bored. Because even if he appreciates it more, he still can't get past the weird characterizations.

It's what makes him finally close out tumblr and go into the entertainment room to see if Louis wants to play a round of FIFA. Which he does – he always does. When he's not talking to Eleanor on the phone, that is.


	6. Chapter 6

Niall is fairly certain that is readers are insane.

This should be a given, since his fans are largely insane. Since he's writing One Direction fan fiction, it's basically his fans who are reading it. Ergo, insane.

But he's never dealt with them on such a strange level before. Where they see things that aren't really there. Case in point – his commenters are still harping on him and Harry in the story, and the kiss and how Harry is just trying to look out for Niall, and how someone is _after_ them and how that'll just bring them _closer._

It makes him confused as he sits in front of tumblr to write his next post, because now he doesn't know what to do. He's not just going to add in a bunch of extrapolations into the story as to why he and Harry aren't a couple, when, well, _they aren't._

That's the whole point! He's writing something that is very real and his fans are still finding homosexual subtext.

It's absurd, because over the course of their travel day, he'd:

1\. Played FIFA with Louis.  
2\. Eaten lunch with Liam and Harry at a McDonald's when they'd stopped for a bit  
3\. Talked on the phone with his Dad.

And now he's checking tumblr again. There's nothing gay about any of the things that he'd done – so he doesn't get why their fans constantly and stubbornly clung to the fleeting chance that _something_ might happen between him and another band member. In real life or in fiction!

He thinks about it again. 

During his FIFA game with Louis he'd beaten him pretty badly, and that had bothered Louis. So Louis had taken the controller from him in mock protest, and Niall had wrestled him to get it back.

They'd ended up in a tickling match with Niall pinned to the ground. But that was standard. He supposed if you were really looking for something between him and Louis, maybe you could stretch that. Maybe. But it was the same as him and Greg playing when they were small. They were just on each other like brothers, really.

So there's nothing weird about that.

At McDonald's he, Liam and Harry had crammed themselves into a small booth. Liam had sat across, stating that Niall was small so he was the one who got to share. Harry shrugged, because he didn't care and sat down beside Niall. They were squished in close, and okay, Harry's arm was around him for a little bit but that was... that was just because. They do stuff like that.

So it's not weird. Weird would be to imply it was out of the ordinary, which it's because they are always hugging or clinging to each other.

When Niall was talking with his Dad on the phone, he'd been sitting on the couch in the entertainment room. Harry had come in, probably meaning to watch a movie or something. He'd noticed Niall on the couch, Niall had waved to him, and Harry had sat beside him.

Again, Harry arm was around him. His hand was playing with Niall's freshly-coloured hair. Every so often they'd make eye-contact and smile at each other. But all the lads were overly affectionate with one another. They had to be when all they had was each other during a year long tour away from home. Harry was just comforting him because he knew Niall was missing his parents back in Ireland.

He shakes his head. He's just going to have to somehow write that sort of bond into the story so his readers understand that the boys really are just that close and there is nothing romantic about it.

So he opens up a new post and begins to furiously type.

_Niall couldn't sleep that night._

_It wasn't that out of the ordinary. Since they travelled so much he was accustomed to having jet lag and being completely knackered but at the same time wide awake at four in the morning._

_This was a little bit different – it was still only two in the morning, and he wasn't jet lagged. He was kept awake by the sound of the gunshot going off over and over again in his head._

_It was terrifying, because he would close his eyes and imagine all sorts of crazy things. Like someone breaking into the bus while it was moving or someone shooting at it and the bullet breaking through the siding and hurting one of them._

_Niall knew he was being totally unreasonable. None of those things were going to happen. But then again he'd also never been shot at before and now it had basically happened twice in a matter of a few days, so he really didn't know what to believe or fear anymore._

_The worst part about it was that the other lads seemed to not be taking this seriously at all. Of course they said they'd be there for him, and that everything was going to be okay – but they truly believed that. They thought that since Paul was on it, everything would be fine._

_Niall thought they had too much faith in Paul, because he'd been around for the last week and Niall had still managed to be part of a store robbery and then got shot at when he was ten steps away from the bus. So obviously Paul couldn't keep them safe if someone was really keen on hurting them, and that was the part that the other lads just didn't understand._

_Well, the other lads except for Harry. Harry got it – Harry understood. And it wasn't just because he was the one who had actually experienced those things with Niall – that's just how Harry was. Liam might have been the comforter – the “Daddy Direction” of the group. (Even though no one called him that outside of the fans, but Niall supposed it made sense. He did take on that role quite a lot.)_

_It was rare that Niall went out of his way to seek comfort. It wasn't that he was embarrassed – not at all. He just didn't usually need it. The only time he really had was when the mobs of fans scared him, but he was even getting more and more used to that (he had to, because the mobs of fans just kept getting bigger and bigger.) He was just able to let things roll off his back and not be bothered._

_But it was difficult to not be bothered when you were getting shot at._

_The bus was quiet – it seemed like for once everyone was asleep. Probably because they hadn't had a show that day so they weren't hyped on up adrenaline. Niall snuck out of his bunk and quietly tiptoed over to Harry's._

_He listened for a second to make sure Harry wasn't wanking or something, and then pulled the curtain open._

_“Haz,” Niall whispered, using his old nickname from when they were on X Factor. That was another thing that the fans had picked up on – they were the only ones who still called him that._

_“Mmm...” Harry mumbled, opening up one eye and looking at Niall. “Yeah, Nialler?”_

_Harry had called him Nialler a lot these days. He wasn't one to usually use nicknames – but it was probably because of all the crazy shit going on. He was probably trying to comfort Niall (and maybe himself) but acting all overly affectionate in a way that he usually didn't._

_Or something. It was hard to Niall to put into words what he just knew about Harry._

_“Can I stay with you?” he asked, biting his lip as though he was a small child unable to get to sleep after having a nightmare._

_Harry nodded and patted the area beside him. Niall climbed into the bunk. They were small and it was cramped, but that was alright. The whole point was that he needed a bit of comfort._

_And it was actually more comfortable than he thought it would be, having two people in a tiny bunk. They were squished against each other, Niall's head resting on Harry's shoulder and their legs intertwined. But it was okay. Niall actually felt safer like this. Like no one was going to hurt him. Like if someone tried, Harry would stop them. Just like he had when they were in the shop._

_“Couldn't sleep?” Harry asked softly._

_“No.”_

_Harry nodded like he agreed and understood. He snuggled up tighter to Niall and Niall took one final, relaxing breath before falling asleep._

Niall reads over what he's just written.

This probably isn't going to help with his slash commenting problem.

* * *

Niall can't sleep.

Life truly imitates art as he lays awake staring at the ceiling of his bunk. He's not worried about a gunshot or anyone trying to hunt him down and kill him, of course. That would never happen in real life. He's just kept awake because he slept in too late the night before. But he's got to get back on a better schedule because they've got a show tomorrow, and they've got a soundcheck, and before that they've got interviews, and yeah, he's just got to sleep.

He tosses and turns for a bit but it's futile.

The bunk isn't actually that small, he thinks. He probably overwrote it in his post – he could very well fit another person in there with him. He hasn't actually tried – but he thinks that Louis has. When Eleanor's been on the road with them for a bit. He makes a mental note to ask Louis how that works in the morning.

Or...

Niall has a strange thought.

He could just try it for himself. Harry probably wouldn't mind if Niall showed up asking to share, right? Any of the other lads would probably think it was weird and tell him to get lost, but Harry was nice like that. It was the type of comforting that Niall liked best. Just easy and fun – nothing weird about it and nothing expected.

So Niall slinks out of his bunk and just like he'd written before, tiptoes over to Harry's. He listens and yeah, nothing weird's going on in there. So he draws the curtain.

“Hey Harry,” he says, and instantly he sort of regrets it because this is probably crossing some kind of metaphorical line.

“Yeah,” Harry says, opening one eye and looking at Niall.

“Uh,” Niall scratches his neck and looks at him. At least neither of them are naked – even Harry who has a reputation for that sort of thing is wearing a t-shirt and boxers, as is Niall. “Can I... no, this is weird, nevermind.”

“What? Come on, Niall,” Harry groans, because he's obviously annoyed over being woken up for seemingly no reason.

“CanIsleepherewithyou?” Niall asks very quickly. His face feels like it's going to burn right off.

“What?” Harry asks again, waking up a little more and looking at Niall strangely. “Uh, yeah, sure,” he says, and slides over a bit so Niall can fit in.

Of course Harry would allow Niall to share his bunk. Again Niall doesn't know why he's begun to overthink this, or why he thought that Harry would think it was weird. 

So Niall slides in beside Harry, and Harry's instantly fallen asleep again. Because he can sleep anywhere, and Niall's pretty sure he's missing the gene in his body that causes jet lag. So Harry's asleep and Niall closes his eyes too, but then he opens them.

There's definitely more space in the bunk than he'd described, but not much. His and Harry's legs aren't quite intertwined, but they are touching each other. His head isn't resting on Harry's shoulder either, but it's right next to it.

Niall watches lazily as Harry's chest rises and falls in perfect rhythm under the blanket. He looks up at Harry's face – his eyes and closed and shiny on top, his eyelashes flutter a little bit. His cheeks are puffy and red with exhaustion and his lips just hang there – full and slightly separated.

Niall finds himself going back to that kissing scene he'd written. He doesn't think he's ever thought about Harry's lips so much but now that he finds himself staring at them he thinks he could have done a much better job describing them. And actually kissing him? Well, aside from the fact that Harry's a boy, Niall doesn't think it'd actually be so bad. He's sure Harry would be good at it, just judging by the way his mouth sits there without any effort. Hell, Harry probably wouldn't have to do anything and he'd be good at it.

Niall licks his lips as he imagines it. It'd probably be soft, and Harry's always full of passion, so it'd be sweet. He'd close his eyes and just lean in. Niall thinks he's rubbish at kissing (but he's better at the other stuff) so he'd probably let Harry do all of the work. He'd close his eyes too, and he'd just concentrate on the feeling of Harry's mouth on his own. Maybe his friend's hand is on his face, or playing with his hair like he had been earlier in the day.

He actually sort of wishes it would happen – that Harry would wake up, roll over lazily and kiss him. Just so he would know what it's actually like. So he can know if he was accurate in any way. And when Niall thinks about that, there's a weird warmth in his chest that probably comes from his heart speeding up. 

Niall keeps looking at Harry, and now he can't sleep for an entirely different reason.

Because now, it's _definitely_ weird.


	7. Chapter 7

Somewhere around 4am, Niall falls asleep.

Somewhere around 11am, he wakes up. He's groggy, he sort of thinks he might've had a weird dream and then he opens his eyes to see Harry next to him.

Then he remembers everything, and he feels awfully awkward.

Harry knows none of this, of course. How could he? He'd been asleep the entire time Niall had been gawking and him and – oh lord – _fantasizing_ about him.

Awkward.

Harry's awake too, he stretches out and yawns a bit. Niall keeps looking at him, but then looks away, but then he looks back at Harry because he doesn't want to make it seem like he was deliberately not looking at him because that would be weird and where is his usual carefree attitude when he needs it most?

“Morning,” Harry mumbles.

Niall nods and laughs and tries not to be awkward. Which means he acts even more awkward. Harry doesn't say anything though – he probably doesn't even notice. Even if he does, he's good about just ignoring it when Niall starts acting weird.

“What kept you up?” Harry asks, sitting up and scratching his head. His hair was always a mess in the mornings – it was hard for it not to be, with all the curls and body it had. But whenever Harry woke up it was just a huge mess, frizzing in some places, matted in the others.

It takes him about ten seconds to flip his hair and make it look good again, but that ten seconds came after he'd washed it or at least rinsed all the sleep out of it.

But Niall cocks his head to the side and looks at Harry's hair more closely this time. It's not actually bad – he sort of envies it. His hair doesn't do anything exciting. In fact, it's plain old boring. Straight. Brown. A dirty dark brown that he's always hated because it's just one colour. That was part of the reason he'd started dying it blonde when he was younger, and the reason he keeps dying it is because the stylists keep doing it. Harry's hair has all these interesting natural highlights that Niall had never noticed until now.

“Niall?” Harry asks and Niall snaps out of his gaze.

“Huh?”

“What kept you up?” he asks again, his wide brown eyes completely awake now. Harry's such a morning person. Even though it's 11am – when he wakes up he's wide awake. When Niall wakes up it takes him at least an hour to stop being a zombie.

“Uh,” he stammers, trying to think of a better reason that wasn't him wanting to know if the scene he'd written in his fan fiction was accurate or not. “Just missed home, I suppose,” he shrugs. It's not entirely a lie either – he always misses home. It's just not the particular truth that Harry asked for.

Harry nods and leans in to give Niall a hug.

Niall's heart speeds up a bit because he remembers writing about Harry hugging him, and then kissing him, and then he wonders what it would be like to kiss Harry all over again. He takes a deep breath as though he's trying to exhale these thoughts – because they are utterly ridiculous.

He doesn't want to kiss Harry. He's just mixed things up in his brain a little bit.

Harry's still hugging him though. Normally it doesn't bother Niall – he actually sort of likes that Harry's hugs always tend to run long. But right now when he's trying to think about anything but having psychical curiosity for his friend, he just wants to push Harry away.

But he doesn't push Harry away, because he doesn't actually want to. It's all confusing and Niall's still fighting with himself about it when Harry finally pulls away.

“Guess we have interviews and soundcheck today,” Harry says, rolling his shoulders a bit as if to loosen them. “Gonna take a shower, then,” 

Niall just nods and watches as Harry leaves the bunk and walks towards the back of the bus to the bathroom.

Niall groans a bit and puts his head in his hands. He can't help but think he's broken something in his brain because now he's moved on from thinking about kissing Harry to thinking about Harry in the shower.

Something is definitely not right.

* * *

Niall isn't part of the interview that morning – it's just Harry and Zayn.

During soundcheck he keeps his face focused forward on the fans in front of him. He doesn't need to gawk at Harry as he sings – even if he sings _Little Things_ absolutely beautifully and perfectly. Which he does. He always does.

The show is slightly better because at least up there on stage Niall feels completely at ease. He just messes about with the other lads as usual, laughing during the twitter questions and generally acting silly.

He keeps his distance from Harry a little bit, which is easy because he usually just hangs around Louis and Liam on stage anyway lately.

It's only when he's back in his bunk that things get weird.

The first thing he opens is tumblr – he hasn't had a chance all day given their packed schedule. He's sure as hell not going to check it anywhere but his bunk – that's a recipe for disaster. 

He's got new comments, and he's got more likes on his latest post than any post before it.

Obviously, people liked the scene. And just as he predicted, the couple of comments he has are definitely about him and Harry and how they should just hook up already.

_Awwwh :') Niall went to Harry's bed! I wonder what's going to happen next, or if Niall is going to realise his mistake and kiss Harry this time. Because everything must be so scary for them and they only have each other. UPDATE SOON I AM DYING! Okay thanks bye!! xx_

That was from his regular commenter.

_You write niall and harry in bed and they just fall asleep?!?! what kind of evil are you?! Update!!!!!!!_

Niall actually has to laugh out loud at the passion of these girls. He really shouldn't be surprised – after all he sees their passion in the flesh every night at their shows. But this is something different entirely. It's like they're looking in at his life and directing it. They basically are at this point – the scene he'd written was pretty close to what had actually gone on the night before.

Niall sends off quick thank you messages to both of the commenters and opens up a new blank post.

He thinks about falling asleep in the bunk, and consequently, waking up. His mind drifts back to the night before and what it was like laying next to Harry. Thinking about kissing Harry... or rather, thinking about Harry kissing him on account of his fan fiction.

Niall stares at the blank post. He thinks about maybe putting something like that in the story. After all, these stories must be largely an outlet for the fans to write about and experience something they otherwise don't get a chance to – the daily lives and world of what it's like to be in One Direction. Or what they wish One Direction was like, anyway.

There's no reason he can't do the same thing. Writing it all out might help him to be less curious, it'll get the weird looming thoughts out of his brain. And he supposes it'll make his readers happy, so that's a bonus.

_Niall stirred a bit and woke up quickly. In the short time he'd been asleep, he'd dreamt about the gunshot and that he'd been taken away by whoever was after him. It shook him to his core, and now he was scared all over again._

_He peeked up over top of Harry through the small curtains hanging by the window. It was still dark outside._

_He sighed, closing his eyes and trying take deep breaths again. But he started to shake again – it was no use. There was no way he was going to fall asleep now. Not even with Harry beside him._

_“Niall?” Harry mumbled, opening his eyes a little bit. “Are you awake?”_

_“Yeah,” Niall said, trying to play it cool._

_“You were fidgeting – it woke me up.”_

_“Sorry.”_

_“S'alight,” Harry said, snuggling in closer to Niall. He always did that when he was about to get serious about something. Always had to establish a physical connection with the person. Niall quite liked it – not in a weird way. Just in a nice way. “Did you have a bad dream?”_

_“Yeah,” he admitted, because there was no use lying about it. Not when he was here, lying in Harry's bunk of all places._

_“C'mere,” Harry mumbled, wrapping his strong arms around Niall's much smaller body. It was nice, and it calmed Niall down a bit._

_As they laid there, Niall thought about how Harry had kissed him a few days before. When Harry had done that, he really hadn't been thinking about the robbery at all. It was the only time he'd been fully focused on something else._

_And if this cuddling thing was working, surely the kissing thing would work better... even if that was really weird and not something that they ever did because neither of them are gay they just have a very close bond._

_But still, Niall looked up at Harry. It would help – he knew it would. Just mulling it over was helping to distract him. He'd have to be the one to make the move, of course. Because Harry probably wasn't going to pull something like that again._

_So he did. He just leaned upwards and kissed Harry. His heart was pounding the entire time – it had actually been a long time since he'd made a move on someone, let alone one of his best mates._

_Harry's lips were soft, just like he had imagined them being -_

_Niall frowns and deletes that line. He almost forgot that Niall in the story had already kissed Harry – so he'd know what his lips were like._

_Harry's lips were soft, and Niall appreciated it more this time around. Harry didn't push him away like he'd been pushed away. Instead he kissed Niall back easily, holding onto him tighter and just moving his mouth slowly, taking the lead away from Niall._

_Which was good, because Niall was sure he was rubbish at kissing. Which was part of the reason he never made the first move._

_But it was working because he wasn't thinking about the robbery or the gunshot anymore. He was just focused on Harry's smooth mouth and warm body so close beside his own._

Niall bites his lip a little bit as he reads the last bit over. It's weird because it's not weird – he feels like he should feel more alarmed by writing this (or not writing it at all) but he doesn't. The story and characters again just took on a life of their own. He's not bothered, in fact he's eager to find out what happens next.

_“Thought you didn't want to do this,” Harry said, and he almost sounded out of breath._

_Niall shrugged and looked at Harry a bit sheepishly. “I just needed it I suppose.”_

_And Harry was okay with that, it seemed, because he leaned in to kiss Niall again. It was soft, it was easy. They just laid next to each other kissing and not worrying about the outside world._

Niall sighs as he imagines that, because it actually sounds quite nice just laying there in the bunk being that close with Harry. As he learned the night before, the bunks can fit two people alright, but they'd still be tightly pressed against each other. Which would be nice in a situation like that.

He debates going further with it, but he doesn't actually know where to. For one, he thinks if that were to actually happen, they'd want to minimize the risk of anyone catching them. It'd also be fairly awkward and new and he can't anticipate them moving too fast too quickly. Especially if Niall's (oh, he's started to think of himself in the third person now, that's lovely and not at all weird) only doing it to take his mind off the other stuff.

Except that now he's got this other problem – thinking about Harry being pressed up against him, kissing his mouth and touching his skin is making him achingly hard. It's also been a couple days since his last wank, and yeah, he kind of wants to keep going with this.

It'd be weird though, so he doesn't. Instead he posts it as is and then looks down at the bulge in his boxers. 

No one else is awake – he's gone to the quiet time bus tonight. And even if they are, it's not like he's ever given a shit about them hearing him wank before.

He reaches down into his boxers, gripping his cock. He almost gasps at the feeling as his hand moves up and down along the shaft. 

He pushes his laptop off the the side and stretches his legs out, digging his ankles into the mattress. He removes his hand for a moment – only for a moment to slide his boxers down to his knees. Then he starts to pump his cock again.

All he's thinking about as he touches himself is laying in bed with Harry the night before. The very real memory of Harry's body against his own coupled with the fantasy of the two of them kissing sends heat all through his body.

He imagines Harry's lips are warm – they must be. They're so plump and so soft and before Niall knows it he's imagining them stretched around his cock. Harry's head of curls bobbing up and down where his hand is presently pumping faster and faster.

Niall grips the sheets with his free hand as he comes, making a mess all over his stomach and hand. He breathes heavily, feeling only slightly ashamed of the images that had been flashing through his mind just seconds ago. Images that instead of disgusting him and turning him right off, sent him over the edge.

“Jesus Christ, Niall,” he hears Liam mutter from the next bunk over. “That doesn't sound like sleeping to me.”

Niall laughs as he cleans himself off with his discarded t-shirt. “Sorry, Liam. Going to sleep now.”

And he does, climbing under the comforter with a satisfied smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comment, kudos and bookmarks! I am so happy that so many people seem to like this - you guys are awesome :) Thank you, thank you, thank you!
> 
> Just a quick note - I usually edit my chapters and post on Wednesdays and Saturdays but I will be out of town for the next couple of weeks (in London, baby!) so the next update will be on Wednesday April 16th. Thanks again for reading! x


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks guys for being patient with me while I was away and for all of your lovely comments! x

The first thing Niall does when he wakes up the next morning is check tumblr.

He's getting more than a little obsessed with it now – excited to see what his readers will have to say about his updates. Excited for someone to like it – even more excited for someone to reblog it because that means the chance for other people to see it.

He's also gained followers on tumblr – that's cool too. He only had like, two before. Probably on account of him never posting anything and just lurking around the site. Occasionally he likes something, but that's rare.

He hasn't actually got any comments yet on his newest post. He has one like and that's all – probably because he posted it only about seven hours ago. Because he's sure that people will read it and like it. Everything that he'd been told by the few people who left him comments pointed in the way of “Yes, we are all very much looking forward to Harry and Niall kissing!”

So hopefully, eventually, he'll get some excitement and praise out of writing that.

Not that he hasn't already gotten enough excitement of his own out of writing that. He should feel more weird about that, and it's strange to him that he doesn't.

Of course, he hasn't actually seen Harry yet since all of that had gone down. Or rather, since he'd imagined Harry going down on him. Maybe his feelings will change once he actually has to look his friend in the face.

But it's still a little early. He doesn't have to worry about that right now. So instead of getting up and finding something to eat (there's never anything good in the kitchen on the sleeping bus anyway) he opens a new post and starts typing. At least he can start something off for now.

_Niall woke up a few hours later still tangled in Harry's arms. He could see light coming in through the window, and he wondered what time it was._

_He also wondered how long the two of them had laid there kissing for. It had felt like hours. It was so simple and nice – the calmest Niall had felt in days, really. Like things were back to normal, which was strange because they really weren't. Kissing Harry wasn't normal at all! In fact, short of the whole being shot at situation, it was the weirdest thing that had happened on tour._

_Actually that probably wasn't true. The weirdest thing that had happened on tour was shortly after Liam and Danielle had broken up and then Danielle showed up backstage. That was pretty weird because they'd gotten into a huge fight, everyone was watching and eventually she left in a fit of tears. Oh and Liam was angry for the entire show because she'd decided to show up during the 5SOS set which meant that Liam had no time to calm down. And when Liam got angry, you knew it was bad._

_That, Niall decided, was weirder than the kissing, because not everyone had witnessed the kissing. That was a secret – only for him and Harry to share because him and Harry had to share the awfulness of being shot at. So really, they had to share a good thing to balance it out._

_And the kissing was definitely_

“Niall?”

Liam opens the curtain to Niall's bunk and instantly Niall snaps his laptop closed. “What?” he asks, more irritably than he ever has in his life, because his heart is pounding and he's practically praying inside his head that Liam hadn't seen anything that was on his screen.

“What're you doing? Do you know how aggressively you type?”

Niall raises his eyebrow. He's pretty sure that Liam is the only person in the world who would think to describe something as mundane as typing as aggressive. He doesn't understand why this is even an issue.

“Just writing an e-mail. Did I wake you up? Sorry,” he says quickly, wishing Liam would just leave so he can go back to writing.

That thought actually makes Niall sad a little bit. He remembers when hanging out with his bandmates was more interesting than writing about them. But in this world – this world he's made up – he gets to do things like kiss Harry and there's no repercussions.

It's nice because he can just close his laptop and be done with it, instead of what would probably be a million probing questions from Liam. He'd also probably get a sigh from Louis, but he'd be happy, because then the fans would shut up about Larry (actually, they probably wouldn't.) Zayn probably wouldn't even notice – too busy texting Perrie to care who his bandmates were shagging. Case in point, he'd been the only person not present for the Danielle and Liam fight of 2013.

“No, it's alright,” Liam says, smiling at Niall. He stretches and Niall looks at him.

Liam has thick arms. He's got a nice torso too – and Niall's sort of always been jealous of how fit he is. But it's all the same as it usually is. He's not interested in thinking about how Liam's body would feel curled up and tucked in next to his own.

That's a fantasy strictly reserved for Harry.

“You want to go get breakfast at the IHOP then, once we stop?” Liam asks, looking at Niall.

Niall nods eagerly. “Yeah, sure, alright.” He actually really does want to go to IHOP – but he also wants to get back to his writing. 

Liam nods and retreats back to his bunk. Niall sighs and waits for a couple of seconds before opening his laptop back up.

_And the kissing was definitely good._

He stares at the sentence for a bit. Now he's stuck. He's lost his groove. He shakes his head, closing his laptop screen and hopping out of his bunk. “Hey, Liam,” he says, walking over to Liam's bunk and pulling open the curtain, just as Liam had done to him. “When are were stopping for pancakes? Are we there yet?”

Liam looks at Niall and rolls his eyes – he's being bratty on purpose. “Wanker,” he says.

Niall grins.

* * *

The bus stops about an hour later – long enough for both Niall and Liam to take showers and make themselves look somewhat presentable in case they're spotted and photographed. (Maybe not in case – they're _always_ spotted and photographed.)

The five of them meet up in the IHOP parking lot – along with Paul and a couple other members of their security team. It's rare that the group of them can go anywhere without being escorted by security these days.

It's even rarer that the five of them eat together – it happens a lot less now than it did in the old days. But when it does happen it's nice.

Niall follows behind the lads with his hands in his pockets as they enter the IHOP. He laughs a bit internally – though he can't mask the grin on his face. This is like the opening to some bad fan fiction – if he were being written into a story he would probably accidentally crash into the waitress and end up falling in love with her.

Actually that would probably be Harry, but the point still stands. He's still grinning to himself as they're seated (and thankfully, no one crashes into a waitress and endures endless chapters of pointless melodrama.)

The five of them are in a booth alone, with Paul and the security team in the booth in front of theirs. Niall doesn't mind sitting with them, he likes all of them well fine. But it's nice to be able to sit alone and pretend they're just normal lads out for a lunch of pancakes.

Niall squishes into one side of the booth, with Louis sitting beside him and Zayn sitting on the end. Harry and Liam side in across from them.

Sitting across from Harry, Niall looks at him and realises he'll be staring at him and trading little glances with him for most of the time they're at lunch.

He's actually okay with this, because looking at Harry doesn't make him feel weird. He just has to try not to look at Harry's mouth and associate that with the memory of his hand around his cock.

Of course trying not to think about something is a surefire way to think about it even more. Liam starts telling some story about something that happened on stage the night before, but Niall's not really listening to him.

He watches Harry's face – he's turned to look at Liam, and every so often he laughs and his eyes light up. His mouth opens to giggle and grin.

Niall never really noticed it before, but Harry's face is actually perfect. His cheekbones are high and his jawbone is so, so well defined and manly. And manly isn't a term that Niall would have ever equated with attractiveness in a person, but now he is and - 

Harry turns back to look at Niall and give him a look, as the two of them often do when one of the others is talking.

Niall grins and shrugs as he takes a sip of his water. If Harry's caught him staring at him, he clearly doesn't care.

It would almost be better that way, because now Niall's free to marvel at Harry all he wants. So for the rest of the time they're at IHOP that's what he does.

He can't even blame the story for his new-found attraction to Harry. After all he's the one writing it. It's like he's not the one telling the story anymore, but just the opposite.

And as he watches Harry, the curl of his mouth and the dimple on his cheek, Niall smiles to himself. He's eager to get back on the bus and keep writing so he can see where it's all headed.


	9. Chapter 9

Niall is quite an extroverted person.

This makes things difficult for him. They have some time before the show to chill out backstage and eat, but he really just wants to be checking tumblr to see if he's got anymore comments. He also kind of wants to finish writing his scene from before. He's beginning to realise that writing is a very introverted hobby.

He compromises and brings his Macbook with him backstage. At least this way he gets to be around everyone and not hidden away on the bus. He sits down on a couch in the middle of the room. It takes him a few minutes before he's actually brave enough to open up tumblr – but everyone else is scattered about doing their own things. No one's paying him any attention.

The backstage area is actually quite large. Larger than most fan fiction writers seem to think it is, anyway. There's plenty of space for Niall to sit on his own, still surrounded by everyone but not in any danger of anyone accidentally seeing what he's written. 

He affirms that thought to himself – it's going to be fine. So he opens up tumblr – and finally he has new comments on his post from the morning before.

_oh. my. God. They are absolutely PRESH. MORE._

Niall grins at the excitement of his regular commenter.

_Hey thanks love, glad you think so! You are absolutely presh haha !_

He sends off his thanks and moves on to the next one.

_Wow. Just wow. I can actually picture all of this happening which is saying a lot because so much slash out there is so fake and weird. But this is like... not really. I like it! Keep going!_

Niall grins and thanks her. _Thank you I like to think I know harry and nialler quite well LOL haha thank you!_

Then he opens up his half finished post from that morning. He's still stuck.

_The kissing was definitely good._

Niall glances around. Zayn's off in a chair talking on the phone with Perrie. Liam and Harry and over sitting at another table watching the Baseball Game (which is the only sport Niall finds dreadfully boring.) Louis is sitting and having some sort of heated discussion with Paul.

No one's watching him.

_Harry stirred and woke up. Instead of stretching, he tightened his grasp around Niall. It was like being there with him energized him._

_“Good morning,” he mumbled, opening his eyes._

_“Morning,” Niall said, unable to contain his smile. He felt worlds better than he had the night before, and it was all thanks to Harry and his magical lips._

_Harry slid his arm from Niall's side and stopped at his stomach. They laid there in silence for more than a few moments, Harry tracing little circles on Niall's pale skin._

_“Hmm...” Niall hummed, because it was really nice._

_They were still on the tour bus, but it was early, and everyone was probably still asleep. There was more chance of that now than there had been the night before – the lads were always up late as opposed to up early._

_Harry looks up at Niall and nodded at him, as if he was asking for confirmation._

_Niall nodded back, because whatever Harry was going to do, he was okay with. He wasn't even thinking about taking his mind off of the robbery, he was just thinking about Harry._

_Harry slid his hand downwards_

“What in the bloody hell is that?!”

Niall slams his laptop shut, but it's too late. He turns around sharply. Louis is leaning on the back of the couch, peering over Niall's shoulder.

“Lou,” he laughs, his mind racing. How is he going to get out of this? What excuse can he possibly make up? How much had Louis read? Maybe he hadn't read anything and oh lord, this is really, really bad. His chest is tight and his stomach drops and he feels like there are thousands of girls crowding around him. But it's just Louis, looking at him with a slight smirk and judging him a little bit.

Actually, a lot.

And that's a million times worse.

Louis just stands there, his stupid judgemental eyebrow raised and his mouth turned up like he's holding back either laughter, or a shout to everyone about what he's just read.

“Lou,” Niall says again, but this time without the laugh.

“What are you doing?” Louis asks again, the laugh that had been playing on his lips spilling over. “What are you writing about you and Harry?”

Niall is certain this is how he's going to die. He's not one who even embarrasses easily (which is good, because he does a lot of stupid things that somehow always manage to be captured and turned into gifs for the entire world to see) but this is a special situation.

“Can we go somewhere else and talk about this?” Niall asks quickly, and probably harshly. Harsh for him, anyway, which is a slightly more serious tone for anyone else in the world.

Louis nods eagerly and extends his arm out towards the door. Niall gathers up his laptop and rushes out, with Louis only two steps behind. No one else seems to notice them leave, which is totally normal, but Niall is still thankful for it.

They end up on the sleeping bus. No one's on it – Niall checks around in the kitchen and makes sure the bunks are empty and the bathroom door is open before he starts talking.

Louis just stands there with his arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his face. Niall turns to face him and gulps – now he has to tell him. He's got no other choice, really.

“Niall,” Louis says, laughing again. “I thought you were just writing an email or something.”

“So you decided to read it?” Niall asks irritably. Of course Louis decided to read it – he's nosey and always has to be aware of what's going on. Even when it doesn't concern him. Niall decides right then and there that it's his worst quality.

Louis shrugs. “Not really, I came over just to say hello since you were sitting by yourself, and you aren't usually. But, I saw tumblr and there's always some shit happening on The Annex,” 

Niall rolls his eyes. That's an understatement.

“You didn't notice me, so I read it because I thought maybe for once you were going to be the one to call out the fans on some shipping bullshit,” he pauses, pressing his lips together and putting his hand to his mouth. He's trying not to laugh, which is awful, because Niall's sort of trying not to cry. “I didn't think you'd be writing shipping bullshit,” he snickers.

Niall sighs. He doesn't even know how to begin to explain this to Louis. It's horrifying and embarrassing, and he was okay with it when he was the only one who knew about it, but with the cat out of the bag it was a lot less... 

It wasn't a lot less anything. But it was a lot more shameful.

“Why are you writing about Harry giving you a wank?” Louis asks bluntly, still giggling. Niall has to wonder if Louis would be reacting this way if he'd found out he'd been writing Larry fan fiction. Probably not.

Plus he hadn't been writing about Harry wanking him! Well, okay, he was just about to, but he hadn't gotten to that part yet. And he was pretty excited about it until Louis showed up and ruined it all.

“Alright,” Niall says, running his hands through his hair as he does when he's trying to think. “Look, I was bored, and I was looking around at what the fans were doing. You know they're always doing something weird.”

Louis nods. He's well aware of the fans' crazy habits.

“I was looking around and their fan fictions annoyed me because of how they don't know anything about us, but they all act like they do so I thought I could write one that was a bit more accurate.” It sounds stupider coming out of his mouth than it had in his head.

“Right,” Louis says, his hand on his chin. “And accurate is you and Harry kissing,” he says sarcastically.

No, the constant sarcasm is definitely Louis' worst trait, Niall decides. 

“No,” Niall sighs, his hand messing through his hair again. “It's not. It's just... I don't know. They comment about seeing subtext, I suppose, and then I just wrote it and now,” he whines, partially because he can't believe he's saying this out loud, and partially because he's attracted to Harry so much. “Now I can't get Harry out of my head. I keep looking at him in a different way, and I suppose writing that is just a way of getting it out.”

Louis sighs and puts his hands in his pockets as he thinks about how to respond to that. Then he removes his right hand, letting his flit around in front of his face as he talks. “Well, I supposed it's worked out then, really. Since Harry's been writing dirty fan fictions about you too.”

“What?!” Niall asks in disbelief. His heart speeds up and his insides twist around in an entirely new way. “Really?”

“No!” Louis laughs, bending over and slapping his knees as he bursts out laughing.

Niall rolls his eyes. Why of all people did it have to be Louis who caught him? He's incapable of being serious – unless he's pissed off. Which is usually when the rest of the lads are incapable of being serious. 

“Lou,” Niall practically begs. “Please don't tell anyone.”

Louis nods his head, but keeps laughing.

“I'm serious,” Niall says, trying to look as stubborn as he possibly can. “It's just something stupid I do to kill time on the bus. Nothing's going to come of it. I'll get over it – please don't tell anyone. Don't tell _Harry_.”

“I won't,” Louis says. The smile is still on his face, but he's not laughing anymore. “But Niall, just so you know, out of all the people in this group, probably even on this tour, the person who would be the least bothered by this is Harry.”

Yeah, Niall knows that. But that doesn't mean he needs for him to find out about it. “Thanks,” he says gratefully.

“T'anks,” Louis laughs, mocking his accent. But he grins and pats Niall on the shoulder all the same.

* * *

Back in his bunk after the show, Niall is self-conscious. Which isn't a feeling he normally has and it's weird. He's grateful that Louis has opted to stay up for the night, whereas Niall has gone to the sleeper bus.

And tonight, he's the only one. Everyone else has opted to stay awake. But even with the adrenaline from the show still running rampant through his system, Niall is tired. It's been an emotionally draining day, and he just wants to curl up in his bunk with his laptop.

He opens it up, keen on finally finishing the post he's been working on all day. Again he's thankful that Louis isn't around to hear him type, because Louis would surely know what the taps on the keys were turning into.

_Harry slid his hand downwards, still overtop of Niall's half-hard cock._

_Niall tries not to make any noise as Harry rubs him (and he's definitely not thinking about anything else) but it was so nice, and Harry's hand was so big. He'd never experienced anything like this before._

_Harry dipped his hand inside of Niall's boxers, and the skin on skin action was almost enough to make Niall come right then and there. It was a bit embarrassing to admit, but sometimes he could get off alarmingly fast. When he lost his virginity, Holly had no time to worry about her parents catching them because he'd already rolled off of her._

_“Wait,” Niall said, wiggling upwards and gently pushing Harry's hand away. Only for a second though, just so he can slide his boxers down so Harry has easier access._

_Harry grinned and wrapped his hand around Niall again, leaning over and nipping at his neck as he stroked him._

_Niall just closed his eyes and enjoyed it. Harry was good at it, better than any girl who had ever done this to him had been. Which made sense, he supposed._

_Harry kept touching him and kissing him and even biting at his earlobe a little bit and as much as Niall wanted it to last all day, it didn't. He came quickly (but held on longer than he thought he would have, so that was good) trying as best as he could to be quiet._

_He was still breathing hard and trying to recover, but he really did want to touch Harry too. And when he looked down under the sheets, it was obvious that Harry wanted to be touched._

_Niall was nervous, obviously. He'd seen Harry naked before (many, many times before) but this was different. When he pulled the sheets back he'd never seen Harry quite so naked, quite so hard and quite so willing._

_Harry had a lot more stamina than Niall did, but that was fine. And it was worth it – when he finally did finish, he pulled Niall in for a kiss that was far more passionate than they'd shared the night before._

Niall decides that's a good place to end it, because he's not interested in writing anymore. Now he's interested in taking care of the result of writing that. So he posts it, closes his laptop, moves it to the edge of his bunk and rolls over onto his side to face the wall.

Instead of just going for it like he normally does, he palms himself overtop of the cotton of his boxers. He imagines Harry doing the same thing, treading lightly as it's all new for the two of them, but it's exciting and he doesn't want to go too fast.

Harry would keep breathing evenly, Niall imagines. He wouldn't make a big deal out of it, he'd just do it. Because he loved Niall and wanted to make him happy in any way possible.

Niall lets out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding as he thinks about that. He can't take it anymore and he reaches inside his boxers, gripping his cock and pumping fast. He stretches his hand out as much as he can, because his is small and Harry's is much larger. And that's really what he's thinking about – the thought of Harry's strong hands getting him off consumes him.

He lets out a moan because he's the only one on the bus and he doesn't care.

He pumps faster because he's so, so close and he's just about to - 

“Ugh, Harry,” he moans, his breath hitching in his throat a few times as he comes. He releases his hand and tries to catch his breath. He does a half-assed clean-up job with his shirt, then discards it and pulls the sheets overtop of himself before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

Despite what he's told Louis, he's not on his way to getting over it. At all.


	10. Chapter 10

As luck would have it, the next day Niall and Harry are paired off to do an interview.

They're spending a couple of days in Canada (Toronto to be specific) to do two shows, so instead of just hanging out on the buses, they've checked into a hotel. The interviewer has come to meet them in a small conference room in the hotel – she's sitting in a big plush chair across from Harry and Niall who are squished together on a couch.

This is how it usually is – squished up together and not caring at all about it. It's obvious Harry doesn't care – as far as he knows, everything is normal. He's got no clue that having his arm draped around Niall's shoulders is making the blonde boy lightheaded.

Niall has to try really, really hard to focus on the interviewer and not on Harry's muscular arm.

“What's it like to be back in Canada?” she asks them, shoving the microphone in their faces.

Niall has to try really hard not to roll his eyes. It's the same as being any other place, really. The same as being in America, anyway. It's still far from home, the timezone is still different, and they're always there in the summer so there's not all this snow like everyone talks about.

The question is just ridiculous. Niall usually doesn't mind interviews, but he's sick of hearing the same absurd questions over and over again.

Luckily Harry has it covered.

“Yeah, it's great,” Harry says easily, his smooth voice melting into Niall's ears. “The fans here are great. Loud,” he laughs.

“What's the biggest difference you think, between the fans here and the fans in The States?”

_There's no difference._ Niall thinks. _They're all the same. Loud. Mobbing. Everywhere._

Harry just laughs again, and Niall turns to look at him. “They're a bit more respectful here,” Harry says.

Niall doesn't think that's true – there's a huge mob of girls outside the hotel. In fact, he's pretty sure it's bigger than the last few hotel mobs in America. 

The interviewer looks like she generally appreciates Harry's answer. “So let's talk about your next single, _Best Song Ever._ ”

Niall nods and Harry looks at him. He widens his eyes a bit, obviously tapping Niall in.

“Yeah,” Niall says. It's his tell for when he's about to bullshit in an interview. He always starts his sentence that way. When he's about to tell the actual truth, he doesn't concern himself with filler thinking words. His brain works much too fast for that. “It's really cool, we're all really excited about it. The video's gonna be sick.” That part's actually true, so he grins.

He looks over at Harry, and Harry grins too. 

“It was a really fun video, and I think the fans will see that,” Harry adds.

Niall nods, looking back at Harry. He's just so relaxed in interviews, like he's just talking to the person normally. Like there aren't a million and one filters going on in his head. Niall has a hard time with that – he can have fun and have a laugh with the lads while the camera's rolling – that's not a problem. But when he's actually being asked questions he has to really think about what he's allowed to say and what he's not. Specifically about album stuff. He always gets so excited over the new tracks, and the fact that he's not allowed to go and talk about them on twitter right away kills him.

“Harry,” Niall says, once the interviewer is gone. “My favourite track on the new album is _Story of My Life_.”

“I know it is, Niall,” Harry laughs, moving his arm and stretching, but not getting up from the couch.

Oh course Harry knows. Everyone in the group knows – Niall went on and on about it for days after they'd recorded it. 

“I just had to tell someone,” he laughs.

Harry just smiles at him, and Niall's insides twist up again. His stomach gets butterflies and his heart pounds. He's helpless against Harry's smile. He hasn't ever seen anything so beautiful in his life – he's sure of it. Why it's taken him so long to finally realise it, he has no idea.

But now that the floodgate is open, he can't stop it. All this affection and attraction he has for Harry is spilling out as though it's been building up for the past three years and is now set free.

“What do you reckon the actual difference between Canada and America is, anyway?” Harry asks, picking at the skin around his nails. 

Niall shrugs. He actually has no idea and he doesn't understand why interviewers are so keen on asking that question every time they come to the country. “It's bigger,” he says.

Harry nods. “They have a prime minister, like Britain.”

Niall furrows his eyebrows as he tries to think of something else, because that's a good one. “They have maple syrup,” he remembers. Especially in Quebec – it was better than anything he'd had back home. “And French,” he says, snapping his fingers and sitting up a bit. “They speak French.”

“What?” Harry asks, leaning in a giving Niall a look.

Niall's breath catches in his throat and instantly he imagines Harry leaning in a little further, his lips touching his own. 

That doesn't happen, and Harry just keeps looking at him and Niall's eyes nearly glaze over.

“Niall?” he laughs. “Where'd you go, mate?” 

“Oh,” Niall says, snapping back to reality. “Right, yeah,” he says. “They speak French here. In Montreal. Remember?”

“Oh yeah,” Harry nods and leans back against the couch, stretching again. “You're right.”

Niall watches as Harry closes his eyes and holds his arms above his head. Was he that toned before? Probably. And he's decided he really loves the star tattoo Harry has. It's probably one of his favourites. It's so much more prominent than all the other little ones that litter his skin – and it was one of the first, so there's that.

Harry stands up and Niall averts his gaze to the dull red carpet of the room. “Suppose we'd better get ready for Soundcheck,” he says, looking back at Niall.

Niall nods and follows Harry out the room and back up to their floor. He lets Harry walk a few paces in front of him and shoves his hands in his pockets. 

The other three boys are waiting in the hall when Harry and Niall step off the elevator. 

“Afternoon, lads,” Louis says with a smirk, looking at Niall. “Good interview?”

Niall avoids making eye contact with him.

Harry just nods as he joins the rest of them.

Niall walks past them, towards his room. “Yeah,” he says, “Just gonna get a hat and then we'll go to the venue.”

* * *

After the show, Niall is back in his hotel room for a total of ten minutes to have a quick shower and change before meeting Louis and Liam down in the hotel lobby.

The drinking age is nineteen in Ontario, and they intend to take full advantage of it.

They end up at the C Lounge along with Paul. No one knows they're going there, and even though there are a few people who recognize them in the club, it's not so bad. They say a quick hello to the girls, sign some autographs (on their backs and arms and cleavage, which is completely different than their usual autographs, but they can't deny that they love it) and go about their business.

Niall is a lightweight. Liam and Louis know this too, because while the two of them are drinking doubles, they keep ordering regular drinks for him. “Don't want to have to carry you back to the hotel, mate,” Liam laughs as he clinks his glass with Niall's.

They're not drinking pints – well, they had one, but then Louis started ordering rum and Coke (or Cuba Libre, as they call them every since they were in Mexico) and that becomes their drink of choice for the evening.

There's a remix of Justin Beiber's _Boyfriend_ thumping in the background and the three boys bob their heads to it as they drink.

Were they not three fifths of the most popular boyband in the world, they likely would have been the dorkiest lads on the dancefloor. None of them can dance, and they know it. So they just stand there a bit awkwardly with their drinks.

“Oi, Niall,” Liam laughs, slapping his hand on Niall's shoulder. “You should get up there and dance.”

Niall shakes his head – he's had six or seven drinks and there's still no way he's going to do that. This club is an older crowd, and he's not about to make a fool of himself. On stage where everyone is watching and cheering specifically for him is different. But he's content right now just to have a drink and enjoy the music with his friends.

“Come on,” Liam cajoles only half-jokingly. “It's Justin Bieber. You love Justin Bieber,” he laughs.

Niall still shakes his head, but he takes a sip of his drink and sways his shoulders all the same.

He's rubbish at dancing, but he knows he's adorable. 

“ _If I was your boyfriend, never let you go,_ ” Liam sings, swaying to the music. “ _Keep you on my arm, Niall,_ ” he laughs, linking his free arm with Niall's. “ _Never be alone_.”

Niall laughs as he dances with Liam. 

“Do you wish Justin Beiber was your boyfriend, Nialler?” Liam asks, laughing with a huge grin on his face. He's obviously kidding. Niall begins to shake his head because he really doesn't wish Justin Beiber was his boyfriend. He's not even really friends with him anymore.

“No,” Louis laughs, chewing on the straw of his drink and looking at Niall mysteriously. “Niall wishes _Harry_ was his boyfriend.”

Liam's eyes widen as he looks down at Niall. Niall could laugh it off. He could shove Louis and call him a tosser and continue dancing to the song like it's nothing.

But he doesn't. He completely blows his cover as he snaps his head to look at Louis in shock. Complete and utter shock that Louis so easily and quickly spilled his deepest secret.

Well, second deepest secret. He didn't say anything about the fan fiction. Which is good.

“Niall?” Liam asks cautiously, still looking at him in total disbelief. The music is still thumping around them, they're still standing on the dancefloor, but now they're completely still, whereas everyone else is still moving.

Niall can't even hear the music anymore. He can only hear himself breathing. He has to squint hard to actually clearly look at Liam's face – half because he's wasted, half because he's shocked, and half because he left his stupid contacts in the room.

Actually, that's three things, which doesn't add up, but math isn't his focus at the moment.

“Yeah,” Niall musters out, gripping his sweaty hand around the cold glass of his half finished drink. “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” He can't think of anything else to say. No way he's going to bullshit himself out of this one.

Liam just looks over at Louis for confirmation. Louis just shrugs his shoulders and nods his head.

“What?” Liam asks again, looking back at Niall.

Niall doesn't say anything. The room is spinning and he's not sure if it's because of the alcohol or because of what Louis said or because of how Liam's reacting and he just can't grasp onto any words to explain himself.

So instead he throws up.


	11. Chapter 11

Niall wakes up the next morning with his face buried deep in the hotel pillow. 

There's a soft knock at his door.

He rolls over and opens one eye to look at the time. The harsh red numbers burn his retinas.

9:47.

He groans, closing his eye again. But there's another knock at his door. Still soft, but persistent. So he figures he had better get up and answer it. Begrudgingly, he crawls out of bed and stumbles over to the door. He doesn't even look through the glass peephole to see who it is – for all he knows it could be a fan who's managed to find his room, and is now going to get a very nice glance at him in his boxers.

Luckily it's not a fan. It's Liam – holding a large coffee in his hands and wearing a concerned smile on his face.

“Hrmmm...” Niall groans, leaving the door open for Liam to enter, but walking back to his bed and flopping face down into the pillow all the same.

“Good morning, Nialler,” Liam says cheerfully, closing the door behind him and sitting down beside Niall on the bed, setting the coffee down on the night table. “Sleep well?”

“Ugh,” Niall groans, not moving from his position. His head is literally pounding.

“How are you feeling?” Liam asks.

Niall just groans into his pillow and doesn't move, hoping Liam gets the message.

He does. “Do you remember anything that happened last night?” he asks, almost laughing but not quite. Because he's Liam, and even if he does find this somewhat amusing, he's still able to act like he's sympathetic.

“Ugh,” Niall says again. Words are difficult.

“Right,” Liam says, adjusting himself on the bed and turning his body so he's facing Niall at a better angle. “After you threw up we were escorted out.”

Niall groans.

“Louis and I dragged you out of there because you nearly passed out.”

“Paul?” Niall mutters, a scared tinge in his voice.

Liam shakes his head. “No, Paul couldn't carry you because he was too busy warding people off of us and making sure people weren't taking pictures.”

Niall winces.

“There's nothing about it online, don't worry. You know Paul's good at that sort of thing.”

If Niall's head wasn't pounding, he would be nodding feverishly. 

“Anyway, Louis and I had to drag you out with one of your arms on each of us. Your feet were literally dragging on the ground, mate. I told Louis not to get you doubles,” he says with remorse. “Obviously he didn't listen.”

“Obviously,” Niall mutters. He doesn't really care about any of this – he just wants to make sure that Liam doesn't remember anything else about the evening. And if he does, make sure that he keeps his mouth shut. And even more so, assure him that Louis will keep his slutty mouth closed.

Liam pauses for a minute. It's quiet, and for a moment Niall actually thinks that he's going to get up and leave and not discuss the rest of the most horrid evening of his life.

But then he doesn't. Because he's Liam, and Liam can't ever let anything go. “Is what Louis said last night true?” he asks softly.

Niall's chest tightens, but he doesn't say anything.

“That you have feelings for Harry?” he continues gently.

Niall doesn't actually want to answer that question at all. He doesn't even know how. “I'm not gay, Liam,” he mutters, even though he's sure the evidence is stacked against him.

“I didn't say you were gay,” Liam shrugs. “I asked if what Louis said was true.”

Niall contemplates lying. He contemplates forcing everything he has into one of his signature laughs and slapping Liam on the back and telling him that Louis was just being ridiculous and making a stupid drunken joke.

“Yes,” he mutters instead, because he can't lie. And he especially can't lie to Liam. But at least Liam doesn't know about the fan fiction part and how this all started. At least Liam doesn't know that the only thing on his mind when he's touching himself is Harry's face and voice. 

“Niall,” Liam says sympathetically, and Niall groans because he doesn't think he can stomach one of Liam's heart-to-heart conversations. “How long?” he presses, because he's Liam and he always has to know everything about everything.

Niall doesn't even know how long. A couple of weeks, maybe? He's been writing that story for about that long, but he didn't start to notice Harry in such a way until a little while in. “I don't know,” he says. “When we were in America.” His face is starting to get hot buried inside the pillow, so he slowly rolls onto his side and faces Liam. His face his flush with red and it probably only has about half to do with the heat.

Liam just nods, looking at Niall sympathetically. Then he asks the question Niall's been dreading. “How?”

Niall shrugs. The words echo in his head. _Fan fiction._ He thinks. _Fictional Harry kissed me and that's what started this._ But he doesn't want Liam to think he's gone mad, so he doesn't say that. Well, doesn't say all of that.

Because he can't lie when he looks at Liam's puppy-dog eyes.

“Fan fictions,” Niall mumbles almost inaudibly.

“What?” Liam asks, and Niall sighs.

“Fan fictions,” he says again, louder. He's so embarrassed that he thinks his hair is going to burn off his his skull. Which would probably be a good thing, considering it's matted down and weighing on his head in the worst way possible. “Just... yeah, it's stupid.”

“It's not stupid,” Liam says, but he's grinning all the same. At least he's not laughing himself half to death like Louis had. 

“I don't know how it happened,” Niall says. “I was bored. That's all. I wrote one and it ended up being about me and Harry and then I started looking at Harry in a different way and now,” Niall gulps. This is so incredibly embarrassing and the fact that Liam looks like he'll be unable to hold back his laughter for much longer is only making it worse.

“You wrote one?” Liam asks, grinning ear to ear. “Can I read it?”

“No!” Niall says. He's beginning to get upset now, because even Liam is just seeing this as a joke. “It doesn't matter. Because now it's not even about that. Now when I'm with him it's like...” Niall pauses because he can't explain it. He doesn't know what it's like, all he knows is that he wants more of it and less of it at the same time because he knows he'll be able to have what he wants.

Liam's smiling softly again, and Niall isn't sure if that's worse than when he was about to laugh. “Like all you want to do is sit with him forever and keep looking at him, hoping that he'll look at you back and feel the same way?”

Yes, that's exactly it. But Niall can't bring himself to admit it. So he just looks down at nods. He feels sick and he isn't sure if it's because of the alcohol or because of this conversation.

“Wow,” Liam says, looking away for Niall for a moment, as though he's processing the information. “So you and Harry, huh?”

“No,” Niall says sadly. “Not me and Harry. Just me.”

Liam keeps smiling at him softly. He rubs Niall's back for a moment before standing up. “Drink your coffee, Nialler, and have a shower. It's gonna be a long day.”

Niall nods, glancing over at the coffee cup that's still sitting on the night table. Liam really is a good friend. “Thanks Liam.”

Liam nods and walks towards the door.

“Wait,” Niall says, using all of the energy he has to sit up and grab the cup of coffee. “You won't tell anyone, will you?”

Liam pauses. “About the fan fictions, or about Harry?”

Niall glowers at him. Even though he's pretty sure Liam's kidding, Niall wants to make sure he knows he's not. “Both.”

Liam smiles again. “Of course not.” 

Niall lets out a sigh and takes a sip of his coffee. It's warm and it feels smooth on his tongue, which is still rough and dry from the night before.

“But Niall,” Liam says, before leaving. “You should tell him.”

Niall scoffs. There's no way he's going to do that.

“You'd feel better,” Liam says.

Niall shrugs. He doesn't think that's true. “Harry laughing at me and telling me that I'm ridiculous and that there's no way he'd ever feel the same way isn't going to make me feel better, Liam.”

“You know that isn't what would happen,” Liam says.

Yeah, Niall knows that. But that doesn't mean he wants to risk it. He's fine with the way things are, he'll get over it. Which is exactly what he says to Liam.

And Liam just shrugs, leaving Niall to finish his coffee in a contemplative silence.

* * *

Fifteen hours later, Niall is back in his hotel room with the same contemplative silence. He feels significantly better than he had in the morning – the coffee, coupled with his large breakfast from the buffet downstairs and of course the show have given him his energy back.

He's sitting cross legged on his bed with his laptop. Despite his rather embarrassing confession to Liam earlier, he still wants to keep working on his story. It's the only place where his mind makes sense these days.

Which is sad, but he tries not to think about that as he opens up tumblr.

His latest post only has one comment, and it's from his regular reader.

_Wow, that was hot! I can't believe they did that on the bus and that no one heard them. Or maybe someone DID hear them? OoOoOo I can't wait for the next part!_

He sends her off a quick thank you message and then opens up a new post. He's not really sure what to write. He bites his bottom lip, thinking about what would happen if he and Harry actually did have a little tour bus romp.

They probably would want to keep it secret from the others. At least for the time being. But it would be hard, given that they're _them_ and they're always touching and hugging and being affectionate with each other. 

_The next morning at breakfast the lads stopped at IHOP. Niall was thrilled about this because he loved IHOP and the only time he was able to get it was when he was in America, because they didn't have it in Europe and that was a tragedy._

_“It's not accurate,” he said as they walked into the restaurant. “Because it's supposed to stand for International House of Pancakes, but they only have it in America.”_

_The others didn't care as much as he did, but they nodded along to his observation all the same._

_They were seated at a booth, and Liam, Louis and Zayn sat on one side. Harry sat down and motioned for Niall to sit next to him. Niall did, but he hesitated a little bit. He didn't want the others to figure out what had gone on between him and Harry._

_He glanced around the restaurant nervously. This was the first time they'd been out in public since the shooting incident. Everywhere he looked there were people around, and any one of them could have been carrying a gun ready to plant a bullet in Niall's head._

_Or worse, Harry's._

_Harry must have seen Niall shaking and breathing weird, because underneath the table he placed a supportive hand on Niall's leg._

_He looked over at Harry, and Harry gave him an easy smile. Not the popstar one, and not the normal one. This was a different one, a calming one. Niall had never seen it before, but he liked it. He always liked it when Harry smiled._

_“It's alright,” Harry said, leaning over and whispering in Niall's ear. “Don't worry.”_

_It was hard not to worry, given the circumstances, but Niall appreciated it all the same. “Thanks,” Niall said, looking at Harry._

_“Oi,” Louis said, snapping his fingers in front of Niall's face and bringing him back to the present. “If you lovebirds are quite finished, the waitress is ready to take our order,” he said with annoyance, pointing to the woman standing at the head of their table with her hands on her hips._

_Niall felt his chest tighten, because was it possible that Louis knew? If he did, he would surely die of embarrassment right there, because Louis couldn't ever be trusted to keep his big mouth shut with important information._

_But Harry just laughed it off easily like it was nothing. “Sorry,” he said, looking at the waitress. “I'll have tea,”_

_“Yeah,” Niall nodded. “Me too.”_

_The rest of them ordered and Harry gave him another reassuring look. Underneath the table, they linked hands while reading the menus._

_Yeah, it was going to be fine. Niall was actually able to concentrate on the different varieties of pancakes instead of worrying that it was all going to come to an end right in the middle of the restaurant._

Niall reads it over. Nothing of interest actually happened in his update, but he thinks that's okay. Not all his posts can be exciting ones.

Besides, the thought of him and Harry holding hands is all the excitement he can handle at the moment. So he posts it and crawls under the covers with a smile on his face.

The last thing that flashes through his mind as he falls asleep is the make believe image of Harry smiling lovingly at him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to thank all of you again for your wonderful comments and theories on the story. To see that completely made my day, so thank you so much!! Hope you enjoy this chapter :)

Another day and the boys are back on the road to continue their tour.

They make it to the next city quick enough - it's only an hour or so drive away. But instead of being given the free time off to do with what they please, they're sat down to do an interview.

Niall doesn't actually mind interviews. In fact, he quite like them. It's all part of being in the limelight and part of what he wanted to accomplish when he first became a performer. In fact, when he was a child he would often pretend to answer interview questions when he wasn't singing into a hairbrush.

This particular interview, however, is not Niall's favourite.

For starters, they're marched into a conference room with a plush couch and two tall chairs seated behind it. Standard. This is usually the way it is when there's a camera rolling - easier to get all five of them into the shot.

"Good afternoon, lads," the interviewer says as they walk in, shaking their hands one by one.

Liam walks quickly ahead of them and goes to sit on one of the tall chairs. Louis follows him and pulls Zayn with him, pushing him onto one side of the couch.

Niall glares at Louis, but Louis shrugs and looks away innocently. 

Harry sits down next to Zayn.

"Go on then, Niall," Louis says with a wink. "Sit down next to Harry."

Niall is fairly confident that he's going to kill Louis at some point in his life. But he actually does have to sit down, because of the interview and all. So he does, trying not to squish up too close to Harry.

It doesn't work of course, because the couch is small. Also, no matter how much he knows that this is exactly what Louis (and possibly Liam) are trying to accomplish, he still really does want to be close to Harry. To feel his body against his own, even if smooshed together on an interview couch is the only way for him to experience that.

He supposes he could go and sleep in Harry's bunk again, but that's probably not the greatest idea considering that Liam and Louis know full well what's been going on.

So he just leans back and doesn't give Louis and Liam another look as the interviewer starts to ask them questions.

"How are you enjoying the North American tour so far?" he asks.

Standard answers. "Oh, it's great," Louis says in the same enthusiastic way he always does. Enthusiastic to the masses, at least. Niall (and the others) know that this is actually Louis' signature "this question again?" tone. 

Nevertheless, Louis continues. "It's always a laugh when you're sharing a bus with your four best mates," he says. "We really learn a lot more about each other every tour that we do."

Outwardly, Niall laughs and nods along. Inside, he's screaming.

"Oh, really?" the interviewer laughs. "Such as? Anything that you can share?"

Not bloody likely, Niall thinks to himself and silently prays that Louis (or Liam, but it's less likely) are so evil that they'll actually out him during the interview. Wouldn't that be an exclusive? _Niall Horan - Fan Fiction Writer and In Love With Harry Styles. He's Just Like You!_ He's certain he'd rather die.

Liam just laughs softly behind them and answers the question. "I don't know that there's anything specific," he says, and Niall breathes a sigh of relief. One that he hopes no one else notices. "Just get to know each other a little better. Our likes and dislikes that sort of thing,"

Niall might be imagining things, but he's pretty sure that Liam but emphasis on the word "like." This is horrible because now he's paranoid, he's not paying attention to the interview in the way he should be, and Harry is still sitting directly beside him, glancing over at him and playing with his hair like he always does when he's bored and Niall's hair is within reach.

Niall didn't mind that before. He used to sort of like it, in fact. Now he finds that he really does like it - Harry's long fingers gently weaving through his short blonde hair. He also knows that Louis and Liam are sitting directly behind him and witnessing this and probably thinking about how either cute it is, or how sad it is that Niall really is enjoying it.

It's enough to make him want to push Harry away, but he can't do that. Not with the cameras on them.  
"Right, I suppose that's what would happen when you spend as much time around each other as you do," the interviewer laughs. 

The boys nod.

"In the past we've interviewed groups like yourselves and often they've come back to us and said that their relationship is more than friends."

Niall's breath catches in his throat.

"They've said that they're like brothers," he finishes.

Niall lets out that breath. He's getting far too worked up over what are normal questions they've been asked dozens of times before.

"Yeah," Zayn says, sitting up a bit and clearing his throat. "I think that's true, I think we're definitely close like that."

Niall nods his head in agreement with Zayn, but he looks down at his lap. The absolute last way he wants to think about Harry is like a brother. It's such a simple question, but he almost feels sick to his stomach when he thinks about it more. And Harry's still messing around with his hair. 

"Well," Louis says, leaning over and placing his hand on Niall's shoulder for just a moment before sitting back up and continuing. "I think there's some truth to that in the way that we spend a lot of time together, but I wouldn't say we're like brothers necessarily. I think every relationship is different, but it's true that we're quite close with each other."

"So you wouldn't say you're like brothers then?"

"I'm saying that brothers might be a bit of a stretch," Louis clarifies. "But we definitely all have a very close friendship."

Niall could kiss Louis. Though, if he's going to be working up the courage to be kissing any of his bandmates, he'll probably have to be in second place.

The interview continues, of course. No one else notices the awkwardness – at least Niall hopes they don't. And all the while, Harry's still sitting close to him. His hand playing around with Niall's hair, and one of his arms draped over his shoulders.

It's quite the combination of heaven and hell.

* * *

Twitter questions are easily one of Niall's favourite parts of the show.

For starters, they're a nice break from actually performing. Although he loves that too, ninety minutes of it can be quite taxing so it's nice to have some recharge time in between.

They're also fun, and often he forgets that there's thousands of girls watching them.

So when they get onto the platform in the middle of the crowd after their show the following night, he grins as he looks up at the screen.

“Can you sing Backstreet Boys _I Want It That Way_?” Niall reads off the question. He laughs, because they've sung this song a few times during the question period, and the video has obviously made its rounds on YouTube. It's also one that they can do relatively well, he thinks.

Niall shrugs. “ _Tell me why,_ ” he sings, waving his free hand at the others and motioning for them to sing.

“ _Ain't nothin but a heartache,_ ” they sing back, even though it's mostly Harry and Liam. Louis and Zayn can't be bothered as they're on the other side of the platform showing off in front of some fans.

“ _Tell me why,_ ” Niall sings again, careful not to stare too longingly at Harry. The last thing he needs is to prove the Narry shippers right – even though they're already halfway there.

“ _Ain't nothin' but a mistake_ ,” Harry sings back, because Liam has gone over to see what Louis and Zayn are up to.

Niall's going to kill him. It's fairly standard fare for one (or three, or all) of them to get distracted during a show by any one of the half million distractions happening in the crowd, but that doesn't mean he enjoys the ironic heartache he has to deal with as a result.

Singing a duet of a Backstreet Boys song, of all things.

“ _I never wanna hear you say,_ ” Niall sings, staring right at Harry simply because he can't not.

“ _I want it that way,_ ” Harry finishes, and he's staring at Niall too. Like there aren't twenty thousand people staring at them. Like their every move isn't being recorded to be uploaded to YouTube in a matter of hours for thousands more to see.

Niall's heart flutters. He hates that he loves this. Harry grins at him with the popstar smile, and then looks out at the crowd with pride. Niall's eyes follow him, like he can't stop watching. He can't believe he's standing here right next to him, and it has nothing to do with that fact that Harry's _Harry from One Direction._

“Right,” Louis says, reminding Niall that they are in fact on stage. “Onto the next question then, lads. What is the first thing you bought with your own money?”

This is a boring question, both because they've had it before and because Harry's now moved off to the other side of the platform where Zayn and Louis were standing before. Niall's not about to follow him – he's not that desperate. So instead he walks over to Liam and waits for his friend to answer.

Liam pretends to look deep in thought. “I think was some candy or something at the shop near my primary school. Niall?”

Niall nods. “Yeah, me too.”

He glances back at where Harry is. Him and Zayn can't be bothered, and Louis is still looking at the screen when the tweet changes. “Right, then, oh this is a good one!” he laughs devilishly, and Niall looks up at the screen. “Who's the best kisser?”

“How are we supposed to answer that?” Liam laughs, as he looks at Niall.

Niall averts his eyes to anywhere but where Harry is standing.

“Well, it's not me,” Louis laughs. “I'm rubbish at kissing.”

“I can't believe that, Lou,” Liam laughs.

“It's true, I really am,” he says.

Niall stays utterly silent because he doesn't think he's the best kisser at all, and he really doesn't want to get involved in this conversation. Not in front of twenty thousand people.

“Well, it's not me,” Liam laughs. “I once got told I kiss like a fish!”

“A fish!” Louis exclaims, looking back at the others. 

Liam nods. “Honest to God.”

“Well, I'm out, Liam's out,” Louis laughs. He looks over at Zayn. “Are you keen on defending yourself, Malik?”

“Uh,” Zayn says, giving Louis a look. “Not really. I don't think I'm terrible, but I reckon others in the band are better.”

“Really?!” Liam laughs. “Niall?” he asks, turning his attention towards Niall.

Niall shakes his head violently, and laughs because he knows the audience is expecting him to. He really just wishes this part of the show would be over with already. “No.”

“Hm,” Liam says. “I suppose that leaves Harry. What do you think, Harry?”

Harry shrugs. “I suppose I'm alright.”

“I guess we'll never know,” Louis sigh dramatically. “Unless.”

“Unless what, Louis?” Liam asks, wiggling his eyebrows for show.

Niall watches them with an unimpressed look on his face because he's fairly certain he knows what's coming.

“Well, we'll just have to do a test and see if Harry's actually that good.”

“And how do you suppose we'd do that, Louis?” Liam asks, putting his hand on his chin.

Niall's going to kill them. In fact, if looks could kill, their funerals would have already happened.

“Well I reckon we should get Harry to kiss the most kissable member,” Louis says with a nod, looking out at the crowd. They scream in appreciation. “Who would you say is the most kissable?”

There are shouts from twenty thousand girls, each of them saying a different name.

“Zayn,” Niall says into his microphone, but he's ignored.

“Well, I'd say it's our very own Niall Horan,” Liam says, looking over at Niall.

Niall gives Liam a pleading look, but Liam just grins. Apparently, Louis' prankster attitude has rubbed off on him. 

“Definitely Niall,” Louis agrees. “Harry, what do you say? Do you want to claim your title as the best kisser in the band?”

Harry shrugs. He's still grinning, and blushing a little bit on account of the question. But nevertheless he walks over to Niall, tucking some of his stray curls behind his ear.

Niall's heart skips a beat and his legs shake. He keeps his eyes fixated on Harry as Harry approaches him and gently places his hand on his shoulder. It only takes a couple of seconds, and Harry doesn't kiss him on the mouth, of course. He just plants a small peck on Niall's cheek, but it's enough to make his chest feel warm. 

“What would you say then, Niall?” Louis asks, looking at Niall with a smirk.

Niall can't tell if he's doing this to be a prick or because he genuinely wanted Niall to have that nice moment. The nice moment is fleeting of course, because now it's back to the slow torture of observing Harry from afar. Even worse now, because he knows exactly what his lips feel like and it's hard not to imagine them pressed against his own.

“Niall?” Louis repeats.

“I reckon you lads were right,” Niall says with absolute honesty. He's certain he's never been kissed like that before – and he's certain he never will be again.


	13. Chapter 13

After the show Niall has to choose which bus he's going to spend the night on.

He only has approximately twenty seconds to make the decision as they basically have to get on the bus and leave as soon as the show's over. Before the show's over, really. Pyrotechnics are still going off in the arena. 

He goes to the awake bus – even though he actually wants to go to the sleeper bus to work on his fan fiction (and sleep) (and also because Harry's going to that bus) but he also needs to have words with Louis.

“Lou,” he says harshly, as soon as they step onto the bus.

“Good show, eh, Nialler?” Louis laughs, sitting down at the kitchen table. Niall glares at him and points at the entertainment room.

Louis shrugs and jogs a little to catch up with Niall, who's feverishly walking towards the room with no intent on slowing down.

“What?!” Niall starts as soon as Louis joins him in the room. He walks behind Louis and closes the door. Liam obviously knows everything, but he doesn't need Zayn to find out about it all through him raising his voice. “I don't,” he starts, trying to get his anger out. Instead he runs his hands through his hair, grabbing and the ends and pulling a bit in frustration.

“Oh, lighten up, Niall,” Louis laughs with a shake of his head. “We were just having a bit of fun.”

“Fun?” Niall laughs. “Fun? That's what you call fun? Messing with me all day?”

Louis shrugs. “It was Liam's idea.”

Niall rolls his eyes. “I reckon that's not true.”

Louis just shrugs and keeps looking at Niall. He sighs and glances around with room. Which is exactly what Louis always does when he's avoiding talking about something he knows he's done wrong. It's the same look he gets on his face with Paul comes down on him for going off on twitter to the fans.

“Just don't,” Niall says with exasperation. “ _Please_.” 

“I don't see what the big deal is,” Louis says, and Niall shakes his head. He keeps shaking his head from side to side as Louis continues to defend himself. “We tease each other literally all the time.”

Niall continues shaking his head, and he has an annoyed frown that feels unnatural on his face.

“Look, we couldn't have known what the twitter question was going to be,” Louis says, giving Niall just a hint of a sympathetic look.

“You didn't have to make him kiss me,” Niall counters. “You didn't have to make things get weird between me and Harry.”

“ _I_ didn't have to make things get weird between you and Harry?” Louis laughs. “Really, that's rich, Niall. Because I'm not the one writing dirty fan fictions about him.”

“I told you I was going to get over it, but you're not helping. So stop getting in the way about all of it,” Niall says, crossing his arms over his chest.

Louis shrugs again. “Whatever you say. I thought you'd appreciate a kiss from Harry, honestly.”

Niall almost pouts because he actually really did enjoy the kiss from Harry. Too much, in fact. It's causing him agonizing stress because he can't ever have another one, and now that he's had it once he only wants more. It was almost easier when it was just a fantasy. “Well I didn't. Not in front of twenty thousand people who are going to watch it and make a gifset of it like it's a joke. Like they're going to caption it and say they can see love in Harry's eyes or whatever. Like it's not my feelings that everyone thinks are just something to laugh at.”

There are actual tears stinging his eyes when he's done.

“Alright,” Louis says, looking at Niall with his lips pressed together in a straight line. “I'm sorry.”

Niall nods because he thinks if he says anything else he'll start to cry. So instead he gives Louis one final firm nod and heads to his bunk.

* * *

His bunk, as it turns out, is quite boring. He's got his phone, which is a plus. He replies to a few tweets from fans and updates his Facebook status, but it's not as good as his laptop. The prime reason for that is the tumblr app sucks.

So he sits in his bunk silently, playing Angry Birds. Everyone else is watching a movie in the entertainment room, but he can't be bothered. Even though he's on the awake bus he has no interest in socializing with the others. Not while he's still sort of annoyed with Louis.

There's a knock at the side of the wall beside his bunk. “Yeh,” Niall says.

Liam slides open the curtain and gives Niall a look. “What're you doing?”

“Playing Angry Birds,” Niall says shortly, holding up his phone and wiggling it a little bit before getting back to his game.

Liam sighs. “Why don't you come watch _Skyfall_ with us?”

Niall shrugs. He's acting like a child, but he's pissed off and not in the mood so he doesn't care.

“Sorry about earlier, Louis and I got a bit carried away,” Liam says with a smile.

Niall frowns. He doesn't really want to talk about it. In fact, if he could forget about it altogether he would. Because every time he thinks about it, he can feel Harry's hot mouth pressed against his cheek. He can feel him breathing, his hand planted gently on his shoulder.

It's almost enough to make him shiver. 

“We thought you'd be alright with us having a bit of a laugh,” Liam says quietly. “You usually are. You don't usually care about this sort of thing.”

It's true. Niall is a self proclaimed “carefree mofo.” In all his time in the band, he thinks he's only ever been this upset once before. It was when Louis had been upset he hadn't been given a solo in What Makes You Beautiful, and he'd said the record company had obviously only given solos to the only good vocalists in the group.

“I know,” Niall says softly. He hates that he feels like this. That he can't just roll it off his shoulders like he does with everything else.

“So what makes this different?” Liam asks, but the way he asks it makes Niall think he already knows the answer.

And if that's the case, Niall sort of wishes Liam would just come out and say it. Because he has no idea why he can't just let this go. He's never felt like this before. Not about anything – in fact, the last thing he felt so passionate about was needing to audition for X Factor. He needed that so badly that he'd begged his mum to drive him to Dublin on the promise that he'd do all of the dishes for a month. He didn't even live at her house, so it was quite the promise.

Niall just shrugs.

“You haven't dated anyone since...” Liam trails off, as though he's trying to remember. Niall almost rolls his eyes because he knows it's just an act. Liam remembers everything about everything. “Since we were on X Factor.”

“Not true,” Niall counters. “Demi.”

Liam actually laughs out loud. Niall does too – and that's what's so frustrating about this whole thing. He can laugh about his non-existent relationship with Demi Lovato that he claims to everyone was real.

“Two Skype dates,” Liam says through his laughter.

“I sent her flowers,” Niall says, wiggling his eyebrows. They've had this conversation a thousand times. “Took her to dinner after the VMAs.”

“After which she kissed you on the cheek and told you she was so happy that you were her friend.”

Niall pouts for a moment as he always does, and then he laughs. “Yeah, I suppose.”

“But the point still stands,” Liam says with a nod, lowering his voice a little. “You haven't dated anyone since then, even if that counts. And you're not fussed about Demi.”

Niall nods. No, he's not. He wasn't really when it was all happening either. It had just been fun for him. A few Skype chats and a few innocent tweets. If it happened it happened, but if it didn't that was alright too.

But with Harry... it's not happening. It's so very clearly not happening and never going to happen and just the thought of that makes his chest hurt.

“You feel differently about Harry,” Liam says, as though it's fact. And Niall supposes it is.

He just nods.

“Were you in love with Holly?” Liam asks softly.

Niall gives him a look. “I'm not in love with Harry, Liam,” he says, even though it certainly feels like the opposite. 

“You're jumping ahead,” Liam smiles, raising his arm upwards and leaning against the top beam of the bunk. “I asked if you were in love with Holly.”

Niall shrugs. He really has to think about that. He remembers taking her out on dates around Mullingar, and hanging out with their group of friends. He remembers kissing her for the first time, and having sex for the first time.

But when they broke up, his heart didn't ache. And his heart didn't race when any of that stuff had happened. He'd certainly thought at the time that he could be in love with her, likely just because of a lack of knowledge on the subject.

“No,” he finally says. “I don't think so.”

“So maybe,” Liam says, pausing to think for a moment. “Maybe you feel differently about Harry because this is the first time you've actually had feelings for anyone this strongly.”

Niall shrugs again. “I don't think so. It's only been a couple of weeks, Liam.”

“But you've known Harry a lot longer than a couple of weeks,” Liam points out. He's still speaking quietly, glancing around every so often to make sure no one's listening to them. They're not – everyone else is still watching Skyfall, as evidenced by the intermittent explosion sounds coming from the entertainment room. “It's not like you fancy someone you've just met.”

Niall nods, he supposes that's true.

“It's like when I met Danielle. After a while she was all I thought about, all the time. All I wanted was to be around her, and when I couldn't be, it was unbearable.”

“Yeh,” Niall says, thinking about that for a moment. “And when you broke up did it feel like this?” he asks, gesturing towards himself.

Liam shakes his head at Niall in slight disbelief. “Why are you doing that?” he asks.

“Doing what?”

“Mourning the relationship before it even starts.”

“The relationship?” Niall asks harshly, even though his voice is quiet. “There's no relationship, and there's not ever going to be. Unless you know something I don't know, but I'm pretty sure Harry's not... that way. He was quite sweet on Taylor, as you'll recall.”

“Could say the same about you and Demi,” Liam shrugs. “Look, I'm not saying that Harry feels the same way about you. I'm also not saying that he doesn't. I don't know, but the only way you'll know is if you just tell him.”

Niall shrugs.

“You've got to be honest with him, Niall,” Liam advises. “It'll eat you alive if you aren't.”

“It won't,” Niall says, shaking his head. He can't tell Harry. He doesn't even know how he would begin to have that kind of conversation with him. Just the very thought of it makes him want to bury his head in disgust.

“It already is,” Liam says, gently placing his hand on Niall's shoulder.

Niall just shrugs again, but deep down he knows Liam's right. But he still can't bring himself to tell Harry, or even to tell Liam that he'll tell Harry. He doesn't know if he'll ever be able to do that – and the best solution right now is to just deal with it on his own, without Louis making a joke at his expense.

Liam smiles softly at him and then nods, leaving Niall to his own devices.

Niall stares out the window as the night passes him by. He's actually quite tired – and he's annoyed that he hasn't had a chance to look at tumblr yet or make a new post. He closes his eyes for a moment, happy to just listen to the road underneath him and the muffled noises of the movie in the entertainment room.

When they stop for gas, he'll switch buses. But for now, he's content.


	14. Chapter 14

The bus rolls to a smooth stop, but that doesn't stop Niall from being jostled awake. His head is still leaning against the side of his bunk, and his eyes droop in their half asleep state.

He reaches for his phone to check the time. It's 3:47. He's probably been asleep for a few hours, but that doesn't stop him from feeling absolutely knackered. The bright lights streaming in through the slits in the blinds aren't helping either.

Obviously they've stopped for gas. He stretches a little bit and pulls the hood of his jumper up over his head. He's keen on switching buses – the noise coming from the entertainment room isn't really bothering him, but since he's sleeping he might as well move.

Plus his laptop is still on that bus. _And so is Harry_ , he thinks, his heart jumping in his chest. 

He hops out of his bunk and leaves the bus, stepping past the dimly lit area of the gas pumps and heading straight for the small convenience store. This is one thing he likes best about America – the weird completely out of nowhere gas stations that are the only source of light and human contact for miles and miles. 

He's not sure why he likes it, he just knows that he does. 

He's also not sure why he's in the store. There's nothing he really wants, other than to get on the sleeping bus and curl up with the warm glow of his laptop. The bus will probably smell like Harry's cinnamon candles. It always does when Harry's on it. 

He walks over to the hot beverage station. He could probably deal with a cup of tea. Or maybe a French Vanilla Cappuccino from the machine.

He stands there for a couple of minutes contemplating his choices when the bell atop the door rings. Niall glances over and smiles softly to himself.

Harry.

“Hey mate,” hey says casually, trying to act like his mood isn't lifted simply by his friend's presence. After all, this is just Harry. They've been in the group together for three years – he shouldn't feel this awkward around him. In fact the only reason he does if because there's this big looming secret between them.

For a split second, Niall contemplates just blurting it out and spilling the truth to Harry right then and there in the middle of the store. 

“Harry,” he'd say, with a laugh so Harry would know it wasn't too serious. “Look, I just want you to know...”

To know what? To know that he'd been writing dirty fan fictions about him? No, that was too far. Besides, the dirty fan fictions are just what caused this huge problem to begin with. They aren't relevant anymore. 

He's so lost in this alternate scenario where he tells Harry everything, that he hardly even notices Harry come up to him. “Tea?” he asks Niall with a soft smile, the one that Niall recognizes as the one he wears when he's being friendly and normal. Like he isn't an international star.

Niall shrugs. He still hasn't made up his mind yet about the tea or cappuccino dilemma. He's far more focused on the Harry dilemma – even though that isn't pressing. “Can't decide,” he says simply.

Harry nods, pulling one of the paper cups out of the holder. He sifts through the selection of teabags, gently looking at them one by one.

Niall watches him as he does this, his mind completely forgetting about his own drink decision. Instead he's content to just watch Harry pick out a tea. He's so focused on it – just like with everything he does. His eyebrows are knitted as he studies the little packages.

“They have Red Berry,” Harry says, picking up a teabag and handing it to Niall.

Niall takes it from him and looks at the package. He actually really does love the Red Berry tea – and of course Harry knows this. It'd be more surprising if he didn't. But Niall feels appreciated all the same. “Thanks, Harry,” he says, pulling out one of the cups from the holder, ripping open the packaging and placing the tea bag inside the cup.

Harry nods as he selects his own tea. It takes him only a second to open the package and place the bag in his cup, then he fills it with hot water from the nozzle next to the cappuccino machine.

When he's done, he holds open his hand for Niall's cup, and Niall hands it to him. “Two sugars,” Niall says, and Harry nods, gently opening up two sugar packets and pouring the contents into Niall's cup before filling it with water.

It's easy when they're like this – just acting normal and doing something as mundane as picking out a tea at nearly four in the morning. There's no screaming fans, no need to quickly hustle from one place to another. They can take their time and breathe.

“I got this, mate,” Harry says as they walk up to the cash register to pay.

“Thanks,” Niall says with a smile, still watching him in awe. Harry's not doing anything particularly interesting, just rifling through his wallet for an American five dollar bill. But these days Niall finds anything Harry does interesting.

“I'm coming with you to the sleeping bus,” Niall says as Harry hands him his tea and they walk back towards the buses.

“Oh?” Harry asks, looking down at Niall with a slight laugh. “Sick of the James Bond movie marathon?”

Niall just nods, because it's easier than explaining the true reason.

Harry laughs and slings his arm around Niall as they walk towards what'll be their bus for the rest of the night. Niall gulps and looks up at Harry with a half smile. Though he'll never admit it out loud, he's quite certain that this is a perfect moment.

* * *

Niall's stuck on his next post.

He's already scrolled through his dashboard (which is getting more and more full everyday – he tends to follow everyone who likes his posts, because they obviously must have good taste.) He's responded to the comments he's received (which were largely gushing over how adorable Niall and Harry are.)

And now he's staring at a blank post unsure of where to go.

He's already written enough about Harry he figures (even though he doesn't think he'll ever get tired of those parts) and he should probably get back to his actual plot of someone being after them.

_The lads were back on stage after a few days off. They always said they needed days off, when when they actually got them they became restless after a couple of days without a show. Especially when they were on the road. That was the worst time to have days it off, because it wasn't like you could just chill. You were still out and about and the public knew where you were. At least at home no one really bothered them that much._

_Niall thought that the best part of any performance was the moment when he walked out on stage for the first time. The crowd of thousands of people were screaming and eager for the show to begin. The lights were always bright and the adrenaline was always high. He loved it. He didn't think there would ever be a time when he wasn't grinning ear-to-ear right before they walked out._

_And when he looked over at Harry just before they ran onstage, he smiled even bigger._

_The show began with Up All Night. It was an easy song to sing and it was fun for the lads. They'd chosen it because they needed something good to energize the crowd with right at the beginning, and they felt it was best to start with something familiar. Even though the first song was a lot of fun, they were always nervous so they felt it was better to start with something they were comfortable with._

_Niall tried not to hang around Harry too much. All he wanted to do was cling to Harry for the whole show. He just wanted to touch him and be around him and look at him. But he also knew that the fans would notice that, and that the other lads would notice that. So he actually made more of an effort to be around Zayn, Liam and Louis than he usually would. In fact, it probably looked as though he was avoiding Harry, since he was often on the opposite end of the stage._

_The song was almost over, and the boys continued right into I Would, just as they always did. It was so routine now, that they could do it in their sleep._

_Niall glanced out into the crowd. There were so many lights that it was hard to see anyone, really. Sometimes if he tried hard he could see girls in the first few rows, but that was about it. It was easier when they were out on the second stage during the middle of the show._

Niall takes a sip of his tea and he reads over what he's just written. It's not bad, but nothing is really happening in it.

Then he gets an idea. He grins devilishly to himself as he sets his tea down on the ledge and continues to type.

_Niall looked up at the stage lights that were high above them. One of them on the other end of the stage was swaying back and forth. That was strange, he'd never seen them do anything like that before. Usually they stayed pretty still._

_It was like it happened in slow motion. He was just watching the light and suddenly the light wasn't there. It broke off and fell towards the stage fast. He barely had time to scream Harry's name (even though he did, he was sure that he did) before it hit the ground with a large crash._

_It was eerie. For a moment the entire arena was silent. There was nothing like being in a room full of thousands people with complete silence._

_Then the screaming started. Niall didn't really notice any of it. All he could stare at was the fallen light and Harry standing in shock just inches away from it._

He looks at it with satisfaction. Finishing the last couple sips of tea he has left, he reads the last bit over again. He's yawning and he can barely keep his eyes open. 

So he posts it and crawls underneath the covers, falling asleep as soon as hit head hits the pillow.

* * *

Niall wakes up about half an hour later to someone gently touching his shoulder.

“Niall.”

It's Harry.

He turns around to face him, and Harry gently pulls his hand away. He's kneeling in front of Niall's bunk with tired eyes and a slight frown on his face. “Sorry,” he says slowly. “Were you asleep?”

Niall nods. He was – but he doesn't really care about that right now.

Harry takes a deep breath. Niall just studies him. He's dead tired – it's a pain just to keep his eyes open at this point, but he still can't stop looking at Harry. Watching and waiting for what he had to say. Why he's decided to wake him up in the middle of the night.

“I've just been talking to my mum,” Harry starts, making eye contact with Niall for only a second before looking away. “I just really miss her, and Gemma, and home,” he stresses, breathing out the words like they're nothing. He sounds completely calm, but Niall can tell by the look on his face that he's anything but.

“I couldn't get back to sleep after,” Harry says, his voice breaking just a little bit. 

Niall's heart beats faster, because he hopes more than anything that this is going where he thinks it is. That Harry's standing beside his bunk looking tired for one reason and one reason alone.

“Is it alright if I stay here with you?”

Niall just smiles softly and nods his head, sliding in closer to the wall so there's room for Harry to lay beside him. Inside, he's elated. His chest is warm and his entire body tingles with happiness. If he weren't so exhausted, he would probably be having trouble containing the grin on his face.

“Thanks,” Harry says gratefully, cuddling up next to Niall and grinning.

Niall smiles back at him, rolling over onto his side so he's facing Harry. Harry just keeps smiling at him and shuffles over, leaning in closer to Niall.

For a second Niall thinks (and wishes, God how he wishes) that Harry's actually attempting to make some kind of move. And when Harry hovers over him for a second, Niall considers turning his head so his lips meet Harry's.

He takes too long to make his decision. And it's a good thing, because all Harry's doing is kissing him on the cheek. For the second time that night, his lips plant a firm smack on Niall's blushing skin.

“You really are kissable,” Harry mutters with a laugh as he lays back down and pulls the covers up to his neck before closing his eyes.

Niall watches him for only a couple more seconds. He literally can't keep his eyes open, so he closes them and breathes heavily. Exhaustion takes over, but that doesn't mean he's not on cloud nine. It's been a whirlwind of a day, but it's ended in the best way he could imagine.


	15. Chapter 15

Niall wakes up the following morning to Harry fumbling with his hair.

“Mmph,” Niall groans, his eyes still closed. He feels significantly more rested than he had when Harry had crawled into his bunk a few hours ago, but that doesn't mean he wants to get up. If he could, he'd lay here next to Harry for the rest of his life. Listening to him breathe, his fingers gently dishevelling his hair.

“Morning,” Harry says softly, in that same tone that he always has. His voice is so calm and even, and if Niall wasn't so obsessed with it he'd be jealous of it. His own voice is raw like sandpaper.

“Morning,” Niall replies, albeit not opening his eyes. He knows he's probably got to get up because they've got press to do today.

Harry obviously knows that too – which is why he pulls his hand away from Niall and steps out of the bunk.

Niall groans slightly. Partly because he's tired and partly because Harry's warmth is no longer beside him. 

“Looks like we're here,” Harry says, stretching a little bit and walking into the kitchen. “Suppose we should eat.”

Niall nods, peeling his eyes open and forcing himself to sit up. He scratches his head and stretches. All things considered, he's actually not that tired. Just as it had before, sleeping next to Harry had left him well-rested and calm.

_That's because you're secretly falling in love with him._ Niall reminds himself bitterly. He tries to forget about that though as he steps out of his bunk and joins Harry in the kitchen. It's hard to do as he looks at his friend sitting there shirtless. It's also hard not to stare at him – his chest is firm and defined. His skin is littered with tattoos. Niall only knows the story of about half of them, the rest are a mystery to him. Drawn on his friend like some sort of map to his soul that he hasn't totally navigated yet.

He pulls his attention away from Harry before he has a chance to notice that he's staring and pours himself some orange juice from the fridge.

“Did you sleep well?” Harry asks when Niall sits down across from him.

Niall half shrugs and half nods. He's still too tired to really say much of anything so he just stares at his drink.

“It's a morning of press,” Harry says conversationally, looking at the clock they have hanging on the wall. It's just past 9:00, which is far too early to be awake in Niall's opinion.

But Harry's always been a morning person. And if waking up just after 9:00 is what it takes for Niall to wake up next to Harry, he'd be content with doing that every day.

“Yeh,” Niall says, taking a sip of his juice just as the door to their bus opens.

“Morning lads,” Liam says with a grin as he strolls inside, plopping himself down next to Niall.

“Hmm,” Niall says, nodding at him and then going back to staring at his juice.

“Aren't we chipper this morning?” Liam laughs, slinging his arm around Niall.

Niall just shrugs and places his head on Liam's shoulder. Liam's probably already been awake for hours – which is saying a lot since he probably stayed up considerably late.

Just a couple more seconds of his eyes being closed, and then he'll make a considerable effort to wake himself up.

It's easier said that done because Liam and Harry have started on a conversation about their workout regime. Niall's been working out too – but he cares about it a lot less than these two do. He pulls himself up off of Liam's shoulder, content to just finish his drink and watch Harry as he smiles.

* * *

The morning of press isn't as hard hitting as Niall thought. They did one quick interview for a radio station and a second one for a local news station, and then they were let off.

There's still a few hours to kill before Soundcheck, so Niall once again finds himself in his hotel room checking tumblr. He's probably being antisocial – but he doesn't care all that much. Last time he attempted to bring his laptop out in the open, Louis had caught him and proceeded to make his life hell. So now he's being cautious again.

Which is probably a good thing.

Niall's latest post actually has the most amount of likes and reblogs he's ever had.. He's elated, of course, always enjoying the attention from his fans. He's also got two comments in his ask box.

The first one is from his faithful reader, who is easily his favourite. He loves her reactions. 

_OMG. Poor Harry! Poor Niall! That's so scary I hope they're okay!! I can't wait to find out more about who keeps trying to hurt them like this. It's so good!!! More soon!!!_

Niall grins to himself, proud of his ability to write an interesting story. Nevermind that he's also keen to find out about who keeps trying to hurt Niall and Harry – he hasn't really gotten that far yet.

He sends off a quick thank you message to her and reads his other comment. It's considerably less gratifying.

_Uh the plot of this is good but your niall and harry are really out of character. I seriously doubt that harry would be that quick to fool around with niall._

Niall stares that screen for a moment in shock. For one, he can't believe that he's being told that his characterization of himself is incorrect. That's almost laughable, given the entire reason he started writing this in the first place. 

It's her second comment that gets him and makes him feel sick. He doesn't even know why he lets it. He's seen his fair share of negative comments from the fans before. It's easy to just ignore them.

But being told in plain sight that there's no way Harry would be quick to do anything with him, especially when he's been dealing with that so heavily for the last couple weeks upsets him more than it should. Even Louis and Liam haven't been that blunt, even if it's what they've been thinking all along.

He opens up a new post but any inspiration he has to write is lost. This is supposed to be his place where he can create and write about his stupid fantasies about Harry and people will just believe them and accept them as truth. Within that universe anyway.

He snaps his laptop shut and shoves it to the side. He's torn between being upset with this and being annoyed with himself for letting such a stupid thing get him to be so upset.

The walls of his hotel room bore him, so he decides to go for a walk and clear his head. Maybe get a coffee from the stand in the lobby.

He walks briskly down the hall, hands in his pockets and looking downwards because he _still_ can't shake his discomfort. He's still annoyed, still upset and now he's imagining all sorts of awful scenarios where he finally does confess his feelings to Harry and Harry just looks at him like he's gone mad.

He's so consumed with it that (as luck would have it) he very nearly crashes into the object of his affection.

“Oi, Niall,” Harry laughs, placing his hand on his chest. He's shirtless and wearing basketball shorts with a towel slung over his shoulder. Obviously on his way to the gym.

“Sorry,” Niall mutters, not interesting in dealing with him right now. Or rather, not interested in dealing with his stupid feelings for Harry right now that are _so obviously_ out of character for him.

“It's alright,” Harry says, still grinning as Niall tries to push past him. “Hey, wait, where are you going?”

“Downstairs,” Niall answers shortly. “Coffee.”

Harry raises his eyebrow and Niall internally scolds himself. His attitude is clearly tipping Harry off – he's not usually in such a mood. And even if he is he doesn't usually show it so overtly. 

“Are you okay?” Harry asks him cautiously, the ever-present grin fading from his face and leaving behind a look of concern.

Niall shrugs, even though his brain is screaming at him to just smile and tell Harry that yes, he's fine, his heart won't let him do it. 

“What's wrong?” Harry asks, moving a bit closer to him and still looking overly concerned. Because that's the way Harry is – he never wants to see any of his friends looking anything less than happy.

Niall shakes his head. “Nothin,” he says, because there's no way he's going to admit to Harry that he's sad on account of some negative comment he's received on his fan fiction. His fan fiction that is largely about him and Harry kissing and being naked together and apparently all sorts of things that would never ever happen.

“Well it must be something,” Harry says with a slight smile, and Niall nearly melts right there. “But if you don't want to tell me, that's fine,” he says with a shrug. “You should come with me to the gym though, you'll feel better.”

Niall shrugs because he really doesn't want to go to the gym. The last thing he needs to see right now is Harry running on the Cybex without a shirt on. It won't help the situation – it'll probably only make him feel worse.

“Come on,” Harry says, placing his arm around Niall's shoulders and turning him back in the direction of his hotel room. “Go get some gym clothes and we'll go together. I promise you'll feel better, I always feel better after a workout, no matter what.”

Niall still doesn't really want to go, but he's not about to argue with him. Especially with Harry's strong arm holding onto him like that. “Alright,” Niall mutters, heading back into his room to change. 

He supposes a workout will do him good anyway.

* * *

The gym in the hotel is a decent size. There's a few treadmills, Harry's favourite – the Cybex, a weight training area, complete with punching bag and some stationary bikes.

Harry stretches a bit and looks around. “What're you going to do, then?”

Niall doesn't know. He supposes he'll just run on the treadmill or something. 

“I could show you some of my boxing stuff,” Harry suggests, motioning over to the punching bag. “It'll be good, yeah? Get some of that aggression out?” he laughs.

That actually does sound like a good idea. Niall nods, and Harry grins as they walk over to the other side of the gym. He pulls his boxing gloves out of his gym bag and slips them onto his hands.

“It's pretty easy,” Harry says as Niall stands slightly off to the side and watches him. He positions himself in front of the bag, looking down at his legs to make sure he's got the stance right. 

He hits the bag a number of times and Niall can't do anything else but watch. At least this time, he's got an excuse to stare at Harry as his muscles are flexed and there's determination on his face.

“You want to try?” he asks after a few minutes, leaning up against the bag and pulling it towards himself to stop it from swaying.

Niall nods. He actually does – Harry's probably right, it'll probably help with all of those pent up feelings he's got. 

Harry hands him his gloves and Niall slips them over his own hands. They're a bit loose on account of his hands being smaller than Harry's, so Harry helps him tighten them.

Niall stands in front of the bag and Harry stands behind him. “You want to spread your legs,” Harry says, demonstrating and taking the same stance he had before as Niall looks back at him. “Like this.”

Niall nods, imitating Harry.

Harry looks at him for a moment before nodding his approval. He steps off to the side. “Good, now just hit it, like this,” he says, lifting his arm and gently turning his body as he slowly shows Niall what to do.

Niall nods his head. He can do this, it's easy, he tells himself as he imitates what Harry does much quicker, making contact with the bag.

“Wicked, Nialler!” Harry says, taking a step back at Niall goes for it again.

Niall takes a deep breath. Harry was right – this actually is helping. He doesn't need to pay attention to what some moron on the internet said to him as he continues to throw punches.

Even though he wishes that what she said wasn't true – that Harry would actually want to come onto him. That Harry would kiss him like he had written in his story. 

He keeps punching, not even feeling out of breath. Not even hearing Harry's encouragement.

Hell, he even wishes that Harry would kiss him again like he had on stage the night before. Like he had just before they'd fallen asleep next to each other. That it was something more than a simple joke. 

He hits the bag harder, and Harry's still clapping and watching him with pride.

Because Harry didn't realise he was just making a small joke out of something that Louis thought was completely hilarious. That it was all innocent – that Niall wasn't laying there next to him wishing he'd just roll over and kiss him on the lips so he'd know what it actually felt like instead of having to make it up in his head.

So that it would be real – and that it would be something that Harry would actually do and not be completely out of character for him.

Niall's out of breath now. He grabs the bag and leans on it almost struggling for air. It's not because he's worked overly hard – well, he has, but that's not the reason. It's because he's trying to gulp his feelings down so that they don't spill over into a mess of tears for Harry to see.

“Amazing, Nialler,” Harry says with a hug smile on his face, but Niall hardly even notices. He just nods, hoping that Harry will mistake his damp face for sweat.

He probably would have, if Niall wasn't blinking heavily trying to force the tears back. If he didn't have a turned down mouth.

Just like that the look of concern is back on Harry's face. He cautiously moves in closer to Niall, as if he's not sure what Niall's going to do.

Niall's not even sure what he's going to do until he does it. Because he can't take it anymore – he's standing here shirtless in the hotel gym of all places while Harry looks at him like that. Like Niall is the only thing he can see and it breaks Niall's heart because he knows that's not the case. It's only because he's upset, it's only because he's worrying Harry and nothing more.

He wraps his arms around Harry, clinging to him as though this is the only chance he's ever going to have to hold him like this.

“Niall,” Harry says slowly, embracing his friend and rubbing his back slightly as Niall sobs into his chest. “ _What_ is the matter?”

“Harry,” Niall chokes out, simply because the words won't stop. “I love you.”


	16. Chapter 16

Niall's heart thumps in his chest as he glances around Harry's hotel room.

After his awkward (so very, very awkward) confession in the gym, Harry just calmly pulled away from him, offered a comforting smile and said, “Let's go talk about this in private, alright?”

So presumably that's what they're going to do after Niall nodded his agreement and followed him back upstairs.

Now he's sitting in Harry's hotel room holding a mug of tea with both of his hands. Trust Harry to have a selection of herbal teas on hand at all times. He's staring down into his cup of Goji Strawberry (it's the closest thing Harry's got to Niall's beloved Red Berry) as he sits with his legs dangling off the bed.

Of the ways he imagined being invited back to Harry's hotel room this is in the running for dead last.

Harry's standing at the desk, fixing his own cup of tea. Like it's completely routine, he's standing at the desk stirring sugar and milk into his mug.

Niall's just watching him and waiting. Harry's got his shirt back on, and Niall's thankful for that. He's not particularly keen on having this conversation, but if he has to it'll be much easier to do when they're fully clothed.

“Feel better?” Harry asks, sitting down in the desk chair and rolling around so he's across from Niall.

Niall just narrows his eyes and gives Harry a look. If it's possible, he actually feels worse than before because now embarrassment is starting to set in.

“Well,” Harry says, taking a sup of his tea and placing it back on the desk. “You're not crying anymore,” he points out.

Niall shrugs and looks back down at his tea. He hasn't drank any of it yet, and he supposes he probably should before it gets cold. Besides, that'll at least give him a couple seconds of stalling time before he figures out what he's going to say to his friend. So he takes a sip, letting the tangy liquid sit on his tongue for a moment before swallowing it. 

“You want to tell me what that was all about?” Harry asks leaning over slightly. His legs are spread apart and his arms are resting on his thighs, fingers linked together. He looking at Niall intently, which only makes Niall even more uncomfortable. _Why_ did he have to lose his cool back in the gym?

“It's nothing,” Niall says finally, after another long-winded sip of tea.

“Nothing?” Harry repeats, turning his head slightly. “Didn't seem like nothing.”

Niall sighs and leans back a bit. Harry's not going to leave him alone until he spills everything – he knows that. And he supposes that's fair – he did have a pretty major breakdown after all. That ended with a love confession of all things.

Why did he have to say those particular words? For the thousandth time since he'd exploded, he wishes he could go back to an hour ago and never leave his hotel room.

“Alright, look,” Niall says, nodding at Harry. “I don't want you to freak out,” he cautions, looking at him straight in the eyes.

“I won't freak out,” Harry says seriously. He doesn't even imitate Niall's accent, so Niall knows he means it.

Niall takes a deep breath. He can't believe he's about to admit this to Harry. Although he supposes he's only got himself to blame in every sense. He takes another sip of his tea – because that stalling tactic is still valid until his mug runs dry. 

Harry's still looking at him with those soft green eyes. The same eyes that Niall so desperately wishes would be staring at him with adoration instead of concern.

“I just,” Niall says, running his hand through his hair. That's his tell, and Harry knows it because gently touches Niall's arm and pulls it down from overtop of his head.

“Just tell me,” Harry says.

“Over the last coupe of weeks I have sort of started to have feelings for you,” Niall mumbles, his eyes darting downwards as he says it. He can't remember the last time he felt this mortified. 

Harry doesn't say anything, he just keeps looking at Niall, waiting for him to continue. Perhaps explain further, Niall's sure that for him this must all seem completely random and out of the blue.

“I was bored,” Niall says quickly, which was evidently the wrong thing to say because now Harry looks taken aback.

“You were bored,” Harry repeats slowly, as if he's really trying to understand each word individually. “So you decided to have feelings for me.”

“No,” Niall says in frustration. He's going to have to tell Harry everything now – how this all started and how it ended with him confusing fiction with reality. “Our fans,” he starts, because it seems like a good place to. At least he can place a minimal amount of the blame on them. “They do some really weird stuff, writing fan fictions and the like. You know.”

Harry nods, looking as serious as ever.

“I was bored,” Niall continues, repeating that phrase again so Harry understands. “And some of their stuff bothered me, because they write us like they think they know us, but they don't,” Niall pauses and looks at Harry.

Harry just nods in agreement.

“So I thought I would write one of my own...” Niall says, trailing off because it's utterly ridiculous and it gets worse every time he says it out loud. Now Zayn's the only one in the group who doesn't know – which makes sense, actually. He's always the last to know about gossip within the group. Niall figures it balances out, because Zayn's always the first to know about anything happening with Little Mix.

It's this moment that Harry chooses to break his seriousness, which Niall predicted would be the case. So far he's three for three on members of One Direction laughing about him being a fanboy for their own group.

But Harry doesn't say anything, he just grins.

“What?” Niall asks irritably. “If you want to make a joke, go on then,”

But Harry shakes his head, his hair flopping around a little bit. “No,” he says. “I want to know how that led to you crying and telling me you loved me.”

Niall sighs again. That's actually the worst part because he doesn't know. It just sort of happened – almost like the feelings had been there all along and they chose the fan fiction as a way to reveal themselves.

“I don't know,” Niall says, reaching up to run his hand through his messy blonde hair, but then remembering that it's his tell for when he's stressed and dropping his hand back into his lap. “People were commenting and saying things about how it was obvious that Niall and Harry... in the story,” he clarifies and giving Harry a look before continuing, “should get together. And so when I was writing it... Harry just kissed Niall,” he says, lowering his voice because he's embarrassed as all hell.

“Like this?” Harry asks, and before Niall knows it Harry's leaning forward with his eyes closed. His soft lips connect with Niall's, but only linger there for a couple of seconds.

When he pulls away, Niall's sitting there wide-eyed and in shock. Harry's lips were as sweet and soft as Niall had imagined them to be, but the kiss happened so quickly that Niall didn't even have time to enjoy it.

“Yeah,” he manages to say after a moment because he has no idea what the hell just happened. One second he's sitting there mortified, and the next Harry's kissing him the same way he was picturing it in his head.

Now Harry's grinning like a maniac. The serious expression he wore just minutes ago is long gone - seemingly never to return, his eyes are so bright.

“I suppose it's my turn to confess something,” Harry says with a little laugh. He looks down and then looks back up at Niall, who's still staring at him in utter disbelief. “I've been reading your fan fiction.”

The words hit Niall like a ton of bricks. He feels his stomach drop. “What?” he asks slowly, thinking back to some of the more embarrassing scenes he's written. At least he'd been leaving those parts out when he was telling people about it.

Well except for Louis. But he was the exception to most things, not the rule.

“Yeah,” Harry says, still laughing a little bit. “I reckon you don't remember that you told me what your tumblr was.”

Now that Niall thinks about it, he actually does remember telling Harry that he'd made a tumblr. But that was a long time ago – back before they'd even broken in the US. The two of them had just been messing around on the internet with their fans.

“Right,” Niall says with a nod. “I remember now.”

“Yeah,” Harry says, still smiling. “It started the same way for me. I was bored, decided to go see what was happening on tumblr and I noticed you'd been posting. Then I just kept checking back.”

Niall's mouth is dry. “Why didn't you tell me?” he asks.

Harry shrugs. “I thought you'd stop writing it.”

Niall can't believe what he's hearing.

“You still haven't told me how that led to you having feelings for me,” Harry says, and Niall rolls his eyes. 

“I don't know,” Niall says with exasperation, because he truly doesn't. “Just while I was writing it, I started looking at you differently, and then writing the story became less about showing the fans what we were really like and more about writing stuff that I wish would happen, I guess. With us, anyway.”

Harry nods. “And what is that?” he asks. “What do you want to happen?”

Niall shrugs because he's so confused he can barely think straight. “What do I want to happen?” he asks with a slight laugh. “I know what I want, I want for us to be together. I don't know what _you_ want, because you're the one who just kissed me, and what I want is for you to do that again.”

So Harry does. He leans in and kisses Niall softly, lingering on his lips a little longer so Niall can actually register what's happening this time. “That's what I want too,” he says quietly, still inches away from Niall's face.

Niall can barely believe what's happening. His heart is pounding and his eyes are still puffy from his crying spell just half an hour ago. “I didn't think,” Niall starts out, his mouth hanging open slightly as he searches for the rest of the words. “Is it because of the fan fiction?” he asks.

Harry laughs, his eyes squinting and his mouth wide with a smile. “No,” he says, brushing his hair out of his face. “I've always had a bit of a crush on you, if we're being honest. Ever since I went to visit you in Ireland, actually.”

“That was three years ago, Harry,” Niall says in astonishment. He'd been harbouring feelings for that long? And Niall thought the past few weeks were tortuous.

Harry shrugs. “It was just a crush. Plus you've never said anything about liking boys.”

“Neither have you,” Niall points out, because why would he ever say that? The only boy he's ever been remotely attracted to was Harry.

Harry shrugs again. “I guess if I just like someone I like them. Never thought too much about it, really. I think I had a conversation with Liam about it once. It's not really a big deal.”

Niall's brain is still catching up and trying to process everything that he's been hearing. So _that's_ why Liam had been urging him to tell Harry everything. Which makes even more sense when he takes the time to think about it. Liam always has to know everything about everything. He's always keen to pick up on the smallest of details and hints that Niall never even has the slightest idea are there.

“And you like me?” Niall asks, raising his eyebrow.

Harry grins and nods his head. “More each day, I think.”

Relief and excitement wash over Niall. It's as though a giant weight has been lifted off his shoulders. He can't help but grin because the way Harry's looking at him is everything he'd been wishing for. In fact, it's better because the look on Harry's face is once that he's never seen before, and Niall reckons it's his most beautiful smile yet. One filled with love and adoration and like Niall is the only thing he can see.

Harry looks down and gently takes the half-finished (and long forgotten) mug of tea out of Niall's hands. He turns around and places both of their mugs on the table behind him before looking back at Niall.

This time Niall's prepared for Harry's kiss and leans in too. It's easier like this, even though Harry's sitting across from him on the chair. It's painfully obvious that neither one of them wants to stop at this point. There's no words left to say so Niall lets his lips do all of the talking.

He uncrosses his legs and Harry stands up from his chair. They break apart for only a few seconds while Niall slides backwards on the bed. Harry crawls on top of him, his mouth crashing back onto Niall's.

Niall wraps his arms around Harry, gripping the back of his shirt and pulling him as close as he can. Now that he's here and this is actually happening, he never wants to let go. Plus, Harry's a really good kisser. Better than Niall could have ever imagined and definitely better than he ever could write. His lips are soft, and they're so plump that they fit on top of Niall's thin ones easily.

Niall thrusts his hips upwards because he's so turned on and he can feel Harry's erection against his own, straining through his gym shorts. He's breathing heavily now, almost dizzy because this is too much for him.

Harry gets the message and starts grinding against Niall. He goes slowly, and it's driving Niall absolutely crazy. Harry's hand slides down Niall's side and rubs his thumb against the skin above the elastic of his shorts.

Niall's head is spinning. He can already feel heat building in his abdomen and his orgasm building up. He squeezes his eyes shut and takes deep breaths, because he's not about to let himself come with they're just making out.

Harry's so in tune with him (and he knows that Niall's a minute man because the lads have had all sorts of conversations about sex before) that he stops moving. He stops kissing Niall too, giving the Irish lad a chance to catch his breath and calm down a little. Instead, he plants pecks along Niall's jawline. “Niall,” Harry whispers, still placing little kisses on his skin. “Do you love me?”

Niall's breath catches in his throat a little when he hears that. He hadn't meant to actually say those words to Harry in the gym. In fact, that was the first time he'd ever even come close to thinking that. But now, with Harry on top of him and with everything that's happened, he ponders it.

He's never actually said that to anyone before today, so it's unlike him to blurt it out so easily. But whatever feelings he has for Harry are so powerful and hit him so fast. He knows Harry, better than he knows anyone in the group, likely. Does he love him? Well, he certainly can't imagine telling Harry that he doesn't, because even if he's not entirely sure, saying the opposite would be a bald-faced lie.

“Yeah,” Niall says breathlessly. “I do.”

Harry sighs and moves up to kiss Niall's cheek before he looks at him and smiles. “I love you too,” he says, finally kissing Niall's lips again.

Niall just stares up at him. He doesn't dare look away, because he's sure he's in heaven. He couldn't have asked for a better outcome.

“I suppose we should get ready for Soundcheck,” Harry says, his voice full of regret as he climbs off of Niall.

Niall nods – he knows that's true, but the last place he wants to be right now is in front of a bunch of fans where he has to hide his affections. “We'll finish this after,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows a little.

Harry smirks at him. “Absolutely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks you guys SO MUCH for your comments and love on this story. It makes me so happy, truly. Just a quick note that I will be going to Toronto for the next week, so the next update will be on Wednesday May 21. Thanks for your patience - at least I didn't leave you hanging for a week after the last chapter! :)


	17. Chapter 17

Niall's sure that the show that night will require its own Narry tumblr tag.

During _Over Again_ Harry rushes over to Louis's usual spot, placing his head on Niall's shoulder while Niall strums his guitar.

During _Little Things_ Niall sits down beside Harry instead of Liam and stares at him while he sings the bridge of the song. He doesn't even let the audience sing like he usually does, he just goes right into it. And when Harry sings “ _I've just let these little things slip out of my mouth_ ,” while staring at Niall and grinning, Niall's sure the entire audience can see the love radiating off of him.

During _Kiss You_ Harry wraps his arms around Niall at the very end of the song and plants a dramatic kiss on his cheek. Niall grins like an idiot. Then he makes eye contact with Zayn, who looks at them like they're crazy.

During _What Makes You Beautiful_ Harry looks directly at Niall as the spotlight's on him and he sings the first part of the bridge. He reaches up and brushes the backs of his fingers against Niall's quiff as he sings, “ _The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed._ ” Then the two of them harmonize the rest of the bridge, with the audience screaming louder than they ever have before.

When the show is over Niall chases after Harry as they run for the buses. “Sleeping bus?” he asks, looking up as Harry jogs beside him.

Harry nods. They're not likely to be sleeping on the bus but it's probably not where the others are going to go.

“Yeah, me too,” Zayn says looking at the two of them.

Niall's stomach drops because if Zayn's on the bus with them that means he and Harry will actually have to sleep. And he's not interested in that. Why don't they have a shagging bus?

“Uh,” Liam says, looking at Zayn as they approach the exit and slow down. He gives Niall a little look and Niall thinks that Liam might have figured out that he and Harry want to be alone. “Don't you want to come watch _Breaking Bad_ with us?”

Zayn shakes his head. “Really knackered,” he says.

Louis furrows his eyebrows. “Right well I really want to watch the rest of it and you told us that we couldn't finish without you.”

Zayn looks at him like he's insane, and Niall silently prays that Louis will be able to convince him. He's not sure if Louis has figured out that something's gone on with him and Harry, or if he really just wants to finish watching the show. It could be either one, really. 

“We'll watch it tomorrow,” Zayn says, still giving Louis a strange look.

Louis rolls his eyes dramatically. They're all still walking briskly, Paul right behind them. They've got about thirty more seconds before they have to board their respective buses. “We only have one episode left of the series and I really want to know what happens. You cut us off before because you wanted to call Perrie, so I'm vetoing your decision. We're watching the series finale and then Liam and I will be quiet so you can sleep.”

Zayn sighs and shakes his head. “Alright, fine.”

Niall's practically beaming. He makes quick eye contact with Liam, who winks at him just before they have to split off to their separate buses.

As soon as Harry and Niall step onto their bus, Harry grabs Niall and kisses him swiftly, gently touching his cheek.

“I've been wanting to do that for the entire show,” Harry says with a slight laugh when he pulls away. “You're really adorable, I hope you know that.”

Niall grins as he rubs his nose against Harry's. They're both sweaty from the show, but Niall doesn't really care. He can't believe what a day it's been. He'd woken up next to Harry on the tour bus in utter agony, with no clue that he'd be going back to the bus with him with no question that they'd be sharing the same bunk.

Harry kisses Niall again, taking his hand and leading him over his bunk. Niall's fingers grip Harry's hand, sending adrenaline all through his system. He's high from the show, he's high from Harry looking at him and he's high from the anticipation of whatever they're about to do.

Harry crawls into the bunk and gently pulls Niall in with him. It's cramped – more cramped than Niall remembers it being from when they've slept in there together. But he supposes when they're trying to find a good position to make out in, things are a little bit more difficult.

But not impossible. Niall's on top of Harry with one leg digging into the mattress. He leans down to kiss Harry's lips, but instead he grins mischievously and goes his his neck instead.

Harry sighs as he wraps his arms around Niall's waist as the blonde boy nips and sucks at his skin. Niall keeps going, because it's distracting to him, and it's nice and he wants this to last as long as humanly possible. If he keeps his focus on Harry, it will.

Even though he's already straining against his jeans. 

He works one of his hands along Harry's side, lifting his shirt a bit and playing with his skin. This is all weird for him because even though he's fantasized about it, he's never actually done this with a boy. He's never seen another one naked in the context he's about to and he's nervous like he's a virgin all over again.

“Have you ever done this before?” Niall asks shakily, because it's Harry and he's comfortable with him so he can ask those kinds of questions.

“What?” Harry asks as Niall hovers overtop of him. 

“You know,” Niall says with a little laugh, sort of embarrassed. “With another lad.”

Harry shakes his head, and his curls bounce a little. Niall smiles because he loves Harry's mop of hair – it's so soft looking and familiar and something as simple as that makes all of this uncharted territory a little easier.

“Are you nervous?” Harry asks, his eyes open and looking up at Niall with concern.

Niall nods his head slowly. “Yeah,” he admits.

Harry presses his lips together and takes a breath. His chest heaves a bit and he swallows, and Niall can tell he's nervous too. “We'll take it slow,” Harry whispers, sliding his hands up Niall's shirt.

Niall buries his head in Harry's neck as the younger boy's hands touch his skin. He writhes on top of Harry, feeling so unsure of himself but so turned on at the same time.

Harry's nibbling at Niall's earlobe now, his hands gently caressing his back. Niall sighs, kissing Harry's neck with the smallest amount of tongue. He can feel that Harry's hard underneath him, so he shifts off to the side, moving his hand down and hovering it over Harry's bulge.

He stops and glances up at Harry for approval. Harry nods and Niall lowers his hand, palming Harry through his jeans. Harry closes his eyes and breathes deeply, his chest rising in perfect rhythm. Niall can't watch this or he'll be done before Harry even touches him, so he goes back to kissing his neck.

Harry reaches down to return the favour, but Niall sits up instead. He's going to let Harry touch him – just not yet.

“Let me first,” Niall says, and Harry nods with a slight grin. 

Niall's heart is pounding in his chest as he unzips Harry's jeans and Harry pushes them and his boxers down to his knees. He's seen Harry naked before (many, many times) but never like this. Never with his cock ready and waiting for Niall's hand.

Niall wishes he could do him one better and use his mouth, but his throat and chest are already burning with nerves as it is. So he just takes his hand and wraps it around Harry, pumping it fast just how he likes to do it.

“Ugh,” Harry grunts, lifting his hips. “Twist.”

Niall obliges and twists his hand as he strokes Harry. He shifts himself downwards so he's laying next to Harry again. “Like that?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Harry says breathlessly, his eyes still squeezed shut. Niall glances at him – his mouth his hanging open slightly, so he kisses the corner of it as he keeps pumping his cock.

“Niall,” Harry moans and it sends chills up Niall's spine. “Come here,” he says, opening his eyes and gently pushing Niall's hand away as he reaches for the zipper of Niall's jeans. He glances up at Niall and Niall nods eagerly, unable to wait any longer for Harry to touch him.

Harry (painfully slowly, in Niall's opinion) undoes his jeans and pushes them down to his knees. He licks his lips and glances up at Niall with a grin. Niall groans, because now Harry's just being a tease. Finally he pushes Niall's boxers down too.

Harry pulls Niall down on top of him, gripping his arms and rolling his hips against Niall's. Niall's toes curl into his socks as he groans, sucking on Harry's neck because if he doesn't he knows he'll make all sorts of noises that he doesn't need Harry to hear just yet.

Harry moves fast, holding onto Niall tightly. “Ugh, yeah, Niall,” he moans. Hearing that is enough to send Niall over the edge, his body pulsing with orgasm as he thrusts against Harry's hot skin.

Harry digs his fingers into Niall's sides as he keeps moving. Finally he sighs heavily, slowing down and opening his eyes lazily.

Niall rests on his arm and looks up at Harry. He's quite sure he's never seen him look so lovely. His face is glistened with sweat and he's wearing a soft smile on his face. Niall sighs with content. He's exhausted, but he's buzzing. His emotions are running high and even though he was nervous before, now it's just him and Harry. And when it's just the two of them, things are easy.

“We made a mess,” Niall says with a laugh, looking downwards.

Harry laughs and pulls Niall towards him, kissing him on the mouth. “Better get cleaned up, then,” he says when he pulls away.

* * *

Two showers later, Niall and Harry are in Niall's bunk this time. Harry's laying his head on Niall's chest and Niall's just playing with his hair, letting his fingertips get lost in the damp mop of brown curls.

“Liam knows,” Harry mumbles, not moving from his position.

“Hmmm,” Niall says. He doesn't really want to talk, he just wants to enjoy this moment. In fact, if he could stay in this moment forever, he'd be quite happy.

“I suppose we weren't exactly subtle,” Harry says with a slight laugh. He rubs his fingers on Niall's chest, which is covered in a thin, white t-shirt.

“Yeh,” Niall says. That's only just part of it. He figures he should tell Harry, since he's kept enough secrets from him at this point and it's been a day of getting everything out in the open. “He also knows about the fan fiction.” It's the first time he's said those words without feeling pangs of shame.

Harry lifts his head and looks up at Niall. “Oh?”

So Niall sighs and spills everything. He tells Harry about how Louis caught him, and how Louis couldn't keep his drunken mouth shut in the club. About Liam talking to him and comforting him, and how he kept trying to tell him to just confess everything and get it off his chest.

By the end of it, Niall's laughing, because it all seems so ridiculous now. All of that drama for nothing. All of his worries and fears that never manifested. 

Harry's smirking too, a twisted half smile that's climbing up his face and melting into his dimples. “Suppose we should tell Zayn.”

Niall shrugs. “Could just let Tommo do it. He probably will if we give him long enough.”

Harry actually laughs out loud at this, because Niall's absolutely right. Louis can never keep a secret for very long. 

“I don't want to try to hide it,” Harry mutters, laying back down on Niall's chest, but straining his eyes so he's still sort of looking up at him.

“What do you mean?” Niall asks, even though he's sure he knows what Harry means. Their families. Management. The fans.

“You know,” Harry says softly. “I don't want it to be a secret. We don't have to outright tell everyone, but we don't have to act like it's not real.” He stops and rolls a bit so he's facing Niall. “I want to be able to love you like the whole world isn't watching us.”

Niall smiles and breathes easily. He can't believe how easily this is and how nicely it's falling into place. He's never cared what management or the fans thought of him, and he's certainly not going to now. And as far as his family goes, he knows that they won't care either. His mum practically wanted to adopt Harry after he'd stayed with them in Ireland. 

“Let them watch,” Niall says with a laugh, ruffling Harry's hair. He yawns and shifts downwards so he and Harry can share the single pillow in his bunk. Kissing the top of Harry's forehead, he keeps smiling. “Could care less what they think.”

Harry smiles and nods, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. “Goodnight, Nialler,” he says softly.

Niall leans over and kisses Harry's cheek. His eye catches the discarded laptop in the corner of his bunk. He hasn't checked tumblr since the incident that morning, and he hasn't even thought about making a post. Laying back down and closing his eyes, he sighs. Real life is so much better than fiction.


	18. Chapter 18

“Harry,” Louis stresses ten seconds after the interviewer steps out of the room. “Kindly pay attention next time they ask you something because I'm tired of bailing you out.”

The boys are sitting in a blocked off area backstage at the next venue. They've just spent the morning doing group interviews, and they're about to be off to soundcheck.

Harry looks back at Louis, who's sitting on a stool behind the couch that he, Niall and Liam are sharing. He swats at him playfully, causing Louis to shift away from his hand.

“I mean it,” Louis says, darting his eyes over at Niall. “I've really had enough. Niall's face can't be that interesting.”

Harry shrugs and Niall puts his hands between his knees and squirms a bit. Harry really had been staring at him for much of the interview. Niall doesn't mind, really. And he doesn't mind that Louis is being a prat about it either.

Liam snickers from beside them. Well, half snickers. He laughs in such a way that it's obvious he's trying to hide it, but he fails and ends up sputtering before covering his mouth and glancing over at Niall and Harry.

“Knock it off, Liam,” Louis says with a roll of his eyes that Niall doesn't even notice because he's too concentrated on Harry's arm being draped comfortably around his shoulder.

But Liam just shakes his head and looks over at Niall and Harry. Then he looks up at Zayn. Zayn isn't even paying attention, he's moved on from whatever the rest of the lads are doing and is more interested in his phone.

“Soundcheck I suppose, lads,” Louis says, stretching his arms and making a big show of it.

Niall shakes his head. He couldn't care less about Soundcheck. Truth be told, it's his least favourite part of his job. He doesn't actually get to perform, per se. Instead he just stands there and sings with his hands neatly behind his back. Maybe outstretched if he's feeling particularly adventurous. But it's not fun, not in the least because the fans are all instructed to be quiet.

The question and answer period isn't bad, he figures. But it's short and fleeting and then it's off to taking pictures. Those he doesn't mind so much either, especially when the fan is outgoing enough to ask them for a special pose. He wishes more of them would do that – the lads are more than willing, and it makes it all the more enjoyable for everyone involved.

“Uhm, Niall,” Louis says, flicking the back of his head and laughing.

Niall groans and little and rubs the back of his head. “What?”

Louis just keeps laughing. “Where'd you go, mate? I asked you if you were keen on watching the football match with me after Soundcheck. Did you fall asleep?”

Now it's Niall turn to roll his eyes. “No,” he says with a bit of a laugh. Harry just looks over at him and smiles, and instantly Niall feels better.

“I should hope not,” Louis says, wiggling his eyebrows. “Because you did go to the sleeping bus after the show last night.” His eyes slowly make their way over to Harry, and then he grins all over again. “Unless you didn't sleep. But I can't imagine what else you would have done on the bus, just the two of you.”

“I told you,” Niall mutters looking over at Harry. Then he glances over at Liam, who's still smirking but clearly not interested in contributing to the teasing. 

“What was that?” Louis asks, leaning over a bit so his head is right between Niall's and Harry's. He looks from side to side, the mischievous smirk ever present on his face. 

“Nothing,” Niall rolls his eyes, pushing Louis away from them. He's not keen on playing Louis' little game. 

“Were you talking about me, then?” Louis asks, pressing his hand to his chest with a laugh. “Awkward that I would come up in your pillow talk.”

Harry just laughs and shakes his head and Niall can't help but smile. Because Harry will do anything to placate Louis – he's not about to tell him off. He doesn't even look like he's anywhere close to doing that.

Niall sighs. He actually stands up to walk away – it'd be nice to have a quick snack or drink before Soundcheck. But Harry pulls him back down onto the couch, straight into his lap and kisses his cheek. Niall feels his face turn hot and his chest is aflutter with glee. How can this be happening? Yesterday at this time he was sobbing in Harry's arms because he was sure that he'd never have everything he wanted. 

Louis gasps and Liam just watches them with an amused smile.

“What?” Harry asks, looking back at Louis. “Don't act like you're shocked.”

Louis just clasps his hand over his mouth and giggles.

It's at this point that Zayn decides what's happening with the lads is more interesting that what's happening on his phone. Or at least has the potential to be, anyway. “What is going on?” he asks, eyeing Harry and Niall, and then looking over at Louis, who's still trying to control his giggles.

“They're banging,” Louis says, pointing to Harry and Niall.

Niall's face turns even more red and he buries himself in Harry's neck. Harry just laughs.

Zayn raises his eyebrow and keeps watching them. “Really?” he asks after a moment, looking over at Liam for confirmation.

Liam glances at Niall, and Niall just nods his head slightly. He's not about to lie, and it's obvious that Liam and Louis have long figured it out. Might as well keep Zayn in the loop too. Then they won't have to hide it. And really, it's only the five of them who matter. 

“Yeah,” Liam says, and Niall has to gulp his feelings down his throat.

“Huh,” Zayn shrugs, looking back down at his phone. “I always thought it was Louis and Harry,” he says with a slight grin that only Zayn can pull off. Looking serious and playful all at the same time. 

Louis swats him and Niall bursts out laughing as Harry tightens his grip around his waist.

* * *

Niall and Harry are on the awake bus that night. The rest of the lads are in the entertainment room, starting on the next series of _Breaking Bad_ , but Niall and Harry have retreated to Niall's bunk. They're not keen on picking up in the middle of a program that neither of them have been watching from the beginning.

Well, that's not the _only_ reason, but it's the excuse that they gave before quickly shuffling off.

It's loud in the bus, given the volume is turned up to maximum in the entertainment room and all. So Niall and Harry don't worry about being heard. They don't worry about the squeaking of the mattress, and the shuffling around as they try to make the limited space work.

Besides, no one in their right mind is going to bother them.

Niall collapses onto Harry's sweaty chest. All of their clothing is strewn about, either within the bunk tossed outside of it. Neither of them particularly care – Niall's too focused on catching his breath.

Harry slides his hands up and down Niall's back. “Stamina,” he says with a laugh. “I'm impressed.”

Niall looks up at him and grins before laying his head back down and evening out his breathing.

Aside from the lads in the other room, it's silent for a while. Silent for the world that Niall and Harry are in, anyway. Niall's eyes are half open, staring down at the tattoos on Harry's chest. He thinks a little about getting one himself. Maybe Harry will take him and show him that it's not as scary as he thinks it is (something he'll never admit out loud. That's even worse than the fan fictions.) Maybe he'll finally get the screw on his ankle that everyone else already has.

“You haven't posted in a while,” Harry says, cutting into Niall's thoughts and bringing him back to reality. Ironically, by bringing up his neglected fan fiction.

Niall shakes his head, his hair brushing against Harry's smooth skin. “No,” he says. “How can I? Been spending all of my time with you.”

Harry laughs, but he shuffles upwards, forcing Niall to move a little. Niall really doesn't want to – he's keen to lay on Harry all night and sleep like this. But he does, and he looks over at Harry. Even scrunched up in the little tour bus bunk, Harry manages to look toned and attractive.

It makes Niall want to kiss him and explore him all over again, but he needs some recovery time. So he doesn't. He just runs a hand through his messy hair and looks at Harry.

“I know,” Harry says with a shrug. “But I wanted to know what happens.”

Niall shakes he head. “Even I don't know what happens, Harry. I was just writing it because I was bored, and because I wanted to have an excuse to write about us kissing. If you really need to know,” he shrugs because it's not really embarrassing anymore. How can it be, when they're laying here naked next to each other?

Harry gapes at him and Niall raises his eyebrow.

“What?”

“You have to know,” Harry reasons. “A speaker almost fell on me, Niall.”

Niall bursts out laughing. The same loud, hard laugh that always shakes his whole body. “That didn't really happen. I don't know. I was just making it up as I went along.”

“Well make more of it up,” Harry says with a bit of a laugh. 

Niall's not about to just make more of it up. He doesn't even know what it is, and he's not interested in retreating to that world where someone's after him and Harry. He'd much rather stay in the real one where they can still kiss and no one's shooting at them.

“I'll help you,” Harry says finally, after Niall takes too long to respond.

Niall shakes his head, but he pulls his laptop out of his backpack and boots it up. He leans his back against the side wall of the bunk, letting his feet kick out underneath the closed curtain. Harry shuffles to cuddle up beside him. He stares at the screen as Niall opens up tumblr.

“What is that?” Harry asks, looking at Niall's dashboard. “How many fans do you follow?” he laughs.

Niall rolls his eyes. “I just follow the ones who liked my posts. Because they have good taste.”

Harry reaches over at scrolls through Niall's feed. There's a number of pictures and gifsets – largely to do with the two of them. Most of them are from the past couple of concerts where they were especially touchy-feely. “I'll say they do,” he says softly, leaning over to kiss Niall's cheek.

Everything they've done and everything that's happened, and that's still the place that Niall makes Niall shiver the most Harry's lips touch it.

“So let's write a new one then,” Harry prods, motioning for Niall to open up a new post.

Niall shakes his head, but he opens one up all the same. He's not about to deny Harry – not when he's sitting here naked in his bunk and certainly not when this fan fiction is what got him there in the first place. 

But the post is still blank, and Niall can't see past it. 

“Here,” Harry says, lifting the laptop off of Niall's legs and placing it on his own. “Can I?”

Niall nods, because he's at a loss and Harry's always been good with words. If his song with Sam McCarthy is any indication. In fact, when Harry had shown them that Niall had put it on his iPod and listened to it on repeat for days. He shakes his head now at that memory – how had he not known back then that his feelings for Harry were deeper than just friendship?

_The lads were rushed back to their hotel after that. Harry was positively shaken to his core. He didn't speak or say anything to anyone on the car ride back – not even to Niall. He couldn't – the words were stuck inside his throat. If they came out that would mean it was real, and Harry wasn't really to believe that yet._

_He couldn't. He absolutely couldn't. The only part of this he wanted to be real was Niall's gentle touch against the top of his leg._

_“We're going back to England,” Paul said sharply once they were back in the hotel, all huddled in Louis' hotel room._

_“I'm not,” Louis said._

_“You are,” Paul replied with a glare. That shut Louis up quickly, because even if he tried to argue with Paul, this was no situation for games. “We're going back to England until we find out who's been chasing you lads around. Can't have one of you hurt, can't have one of you dead.”_

_Niall laced his short fingers with Harry's longer ones._

“Are you mad?” Niall asks, leaning his head on Harry's shoulder as Harry clicks at the keys. “My fingers aren't short.”

“They are,” Harry says with a smile, not looking away from the screen. “But I like them.”

_The lads all nodded and headed back to their rooms to pack. Harry opted to follow Niall instead of going to his own. There was no way he was going to go alone. No way that he was going to leave Niall's side. He was his whole world, and Harry could deal with something happening to himself, but if something happened to Niall he'd never forgive himself._

“Harry doesn't feel that way about Niall,” Niall says. “Not at this point in the story.”

“He does,” Harry says, kissing the top of Niall's head. “I'm sure he does.”

_As soon as the door slammed Harry clasped his arms around Niall and buried his head into Niall's neck. Niall's scent and soft pale skin should have soothed him, but instead it served as another reminder of what would be lost if these maniacs got their way. Tears pooled in Harry's eyes, running down his face and landing on the fabric of Niall's shirt._

_“I want to go home,” he sobbed, unable to control himself. He'd never cried this hard before, never in front of any of the other lads. But Niall was something else. He'd never judge him – he'd never judge anyone._

_“We are,” Niall said, kissing the top of his head through his hair._

_“I'm going home with you,” Harry said, not really thinking about what he was saying but just saying it and hoping it caught on. He hoped that Niall didn't think he was absolutely mad. But Niall wouldn't, would he?_

“I wouldn't,” Niall says softly, his head still on Harry's shoulder, hanging on his every word.

Harry smiles softly and keeps writing.

_“Yeah,” Niall said, still holding Harry. “Yeah, that's cool.” His smooth Irish accent melted out of his mouth like velvet._

“I don't think velvet melts,” Niall says.

“I'm being stylistic,” Harry reasons with a laugh.

“Right,” Niall says sarcastically, but he likes the line all the same. 

“Do you think it's good then?” Harry asks, changing the subject slightly. “Shall I post it?”

Niall looks up at Harry, his teeth sitting patiently on his bottom lip, awaiting his answer. When he started writing this story, never would have have believed that Harry would be helping him out with it, completely nude with just a laptop covering him up.

“Yeah,” Niall says. “Go ahead.”

Harry hits the post button and looks back down at Niall. “Sorry for taking over your story,” he says almost sheepishly as he closes the laptop and moves it off to the side.

But Niall just shakes his head easily. “No,” he says, cuddling up closer to Harry as they lay back down. “That's quite alright.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Penultimate chapter... :(
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!! <3

Days move along as they tend to do on tour. Some nights they spend on the tour bus, some nights (if they're lucky) they spend in a hotel. 

All of those nights Niall and Harry spend together. If Paul's picked up on their relationship, he hasn't said anything about it. He's still getting separate rooms for Niall and Harry, but it's not like they need them. Inevitably, one room goes completely unused. 

It's a toss-up of which room it is, really. Sometimes it's Niall's, sometimes it's Harry's, usually it's whichever one they get to first.

They're not on tumblr a lot, but they're on it enough to know that the fans are catching on. Even though, by their accounts, they've caught on a long time ago and Niall and Harry are being more open about it now.

It sort of leads Niall to wonder how obvious he'd been in the past. Had he really had such affections for Harry that outsiders looking in could plainly see?

“No,” Liam tells him with a roll of his eyes when Niall asks this very question one morning at breakfast when they're the only ones awake and eating. “They'll read into anything. _Anything_.”

Niall pouts. 

“It's not that I don't think you didn't have some sort of deep hidden feelings for Harry,” Liam clarifies quickly. “I just don't think that the fans were the first to know. If you didn't know about them, how could you have shown them off to the world?”

Niall smiles, nodding to himself as he scoops a generous amount of scrambled eggs into his mouth.

“Why are you up so early, anyway?” Liam asks, sipping at his coffee and eyeing Niall. “When we have a day off you're never out of bed earlier than noon.”

Niall shrugs, but deep down he knows the answer. He hasn't slept in ever since he started seeing Harry. Ever since Harry undoubtedly became his boyfriend. Not only is his real life far too exciting to ignore for a fan fiction, it's also far too exciting to sleep though.

He doesn't even feel like he needs it – of course he sleeps. But not excessively, snoozing away precious hours because he's got nothing better to do.

“Just couldn't sleep,” Niall shrugs, eating a piece of bacon off of his plate. The best part about being at a hotel is getting a full-on breakfast. When they're on the bus it's just doughnuts or cereal. But the breakfast buffet in their privately catered room is always delicious.

Liam raises his eyebrow as he watches Niall chow down on his mountain of food. “Really? Harry rolls around that much?”

Niall shrugs, but inside his heart skips a beat. It's always a bit awkward when one of the others mentions his relationship. Not a lot, but it's still there. Because it's still all new, and it's changed the dynamic of their group a little bit.

“How's that going?” Liam asks, because he's Liam and not only does he have to know about the drama while it's happening, he also lives for the follow-up questions. 

Niall can't help but beam, which probably tells Liam everything he needs to know.

“I've never seen you this happy,” Liam says with a smile, still sipping at his coffee like they're talking about something as mundane as the weather. “Either of you, really.”

“Thanks,” Niall says, his face still full of happiness. (And food, but the happiness is more prominent.) “Hey,” he says, thinking for a moment as he and Liam share a rare bit of silence together. “Did you know that Harry had feelings for me?”

Liam smiles and shakes his head. “No.”

Niall shrugs and goes back to eating his food, not interested in pressing for more details. However, Liam's always willing to give them, so once Niall continues stuffing his face, he continues.

“He did tell me once that he didn't have any opposition to dating a boy, if he liked them enough,” Liam says thoughtfully.

Niall nods because he already knows this.

“We just talked about it one day because he mentioned someone... I don't even remember who now, was attractive. So tell me then, is he as good a shag as he's made out to be?” Liam laughs.

Niall swallows and downs half of his glass of water in one go. It's a skill he's picked up from drinking so many pints – one glass of water per pint is his rule (his Dad's rule, actually, he's just stolen it and claimed it as his own) and the faster he drinks that water, the faster he can have more pints. He sort of wishes he had a pint right now, because that would make answering this question a lot easier. “I,” Niall picks up his napkin and twists it in his hands. “I don't know,” he says finally.

Liam raises his eyebrow. “What?”

This is so embarrassing, and Niall isn't sure why because he's had much, much worse conversations with Liam before. In fact, he's described in detail exactly what he'd do to Katy Perry should she ever actually be receptive to him. But this is worse and Niall isn't even sure it's completely because Harry is a boy. It's also to do with it being Harry, and how he's just as much a part of their group as he is. “We haven't... done that, okay?” Niall says in a hushed tone, which is totally unnecessary because he and Liam are completely alone. 

“Really?” Liam asks with a laugh, like he doesn't believe Niall in the least. “You're both all over each other. All the time.”

Niall crosses his arms over his chest. “I'm not talking about this with you,” he says firmly, even though he knows that he will be in a matter of moments.

So Liam just waits.

And Niall sighs because it's inevitable. “We've done other... stuff. We just haven't done that.”

“What are you waiting for?” Liam asks, and his calm tone is more than Niall can take, because he knows he's worrying about nothing. He hates that this whole relationship business is making him do that. Because where he could be a “carefree mofo” before, now his actions have consequences and don't just affect him. He's got Harry to worry about too, and Harry's a lot more sensitive than he is.

“We just haven't,” Niall says. “Because it's weird, Liam. Because it's like losing your virginity all over again.”

“You couldn't wait to lose your virginity,” Liam points out. “Holly said she'd sleep with you and you did it when her Mum was in the next room.”

“Well, yeah,” Niall says. “But this time _I'm_ the girl.”

Liam nearly chokes on his coffee when Niall says that. He has to set it down and wipe his mouth as he continues to laugh. “Who says?” he asks, still grinning, with Niall still giving him an unamused look from across the table. “Who says that you have to be the apparent girl in this situation?”

“Because Harry's the more... dominant one,” Niall says, trying to choose his words carefully so Liam doesn't picture them going at it. Even though he probably already is, in a conversation like this it really can't be helped. 

Liam just shakes his head. “You really are inexperienced, aren't you?”

Niall rolls his eyes. “I've had sex.”

“Right,” Liam says, still smiling like he's giving Niall the best piece of advice he ever could. “But that doesn't mean you're experienced. Part of that comes with loving someone and trusting them and trying new things so that it's not the same all the time. Do you understand what I'm saying?”

Niall shrugs. “I suppose we could take turns.”

Liam shakes his head. It's just like Niall to completely miss the point. Or at least take what he wants out of Liam's advice. “I'm saying that once you feel ready, you shouldn't feel afraid or nervous if you're in love with him. And I know that you are.”

Niall's chest tightens again with warmth. “I really am,” he says softly. Because he really is.

* * *

Niall wakes up in the middle of the night to the dull tapping of the keyboard and the warm glow of the screen. He rubs his eyes to see Harry seated at the desk hunched over the computer.

“What're you doing?” Niall asks with a yawn, sitting up and crawling to the edge of the bed.

“Just looking at this,” Harry says, pointing at the screen. Tumblr. The fan fiction, to be exact, that Harry's apparently keen on finishing.

“Oh, that,” Niall says. “Nevermind that. Come back to sleep.”

Harry just nods, but instead of rejoining Niall in the bed, he turns back towards the laptop. “I've got them back in England now. And I've got them actually getting stalked in Niall's flat.”

“Harry,” Niall stresses. “You don't have to finish it.”

“I want to,” Harry says. “I'm actually enjoying writing it,” he says with just a hint of embarrassment. Harry's half shrug of slight shame is adorable to Niall, so Niall scoots over to the desk, grabbing his pillow and resting it on his lap as he watches Harry type.

_Harry woke up in the middle of the night to a loud crash coming from the living room of Niall's flat. He'd been staying there for about a week or so. The two of them hadn't left each other's side, too afraid to go out or do anything. Not that they could anyway – they were under strict orders to stay put._

_There was supposed to be security around, but that didn't stop Harry's stomach from dropping the instant he woke up._

_“Niall,” he said, shaking the blonde awake. It took a couple of tries because Niall was a really heavy sleeper, and not even an earthquake could wake him up._

“That's not true,” Niall says, even though he knows it probably is.

_“Yeh,” Niall said, only opening his eyes the tiniest bit so Harry could see the slightest glimmer of blue._

_“I think someone's broke in,” Harry said nervously, glancing around. “I heard a noise.”_

_“Noises all the time, Harry,” Niall said, closing his eyes again and pulling the blanket halfway up his face like he always does when he's trying to get comfortable enough to fall asleep._

“You stretch your legs out completely straight when you're ready to fall asleep,” Niall points out, just as he yawns again. “That's how I know to pull the blanket up.”

Harry just smirks and keeps typing.

_But Harry didn't believe Niall. He looked down at his boyfriend, who had already fallen asleep again. He wasn't about to cuddle up beside him and risk it. So, putting on a brave face, he pulled back the covers and slipped out of the bed, grabbing one of Niall's golf clubs on the way out._

_Sure enough, in the darkness there were two men dressed in black digging around Niall's living room. Harry gulped, trying to push all his fear and worry down. He wasn't noticed – it was dark and these guys were too busy digging around in Niall's things._

Niall's actually on the edge of his seat as Harry types.

_Harry couldn't be quick about it. He had to try and be as quiet as possible as he made his way over there, silently praying the entire time that they wouldn't look back and see him. Because then it would all be over._

_Harry approached them and before he could even think about it he raised the gold club and brought it crashing down on top of one of the men's heads. He toppled to the ground, but his partner stood up and grabbed Harry before he could react. He was stronger than Harry was, and he holds Harry's hands behind his back._

_“Niall!” Harry shouted, hoping that for once in his life the Irish lad would actually wake up._

_Harry looked down. The other, smaller man was still on the ground. If he came to, Harry was certain it would all be over for him. “NIALL!” he shouted again, before his mouth was covered. He thrashed his head from side to side, trying to free himself, but it was no use._

_Harry couldn't breathe on account of his face being covered. He closed his eyes and he was starting to fade fast. Everything started to blur into blackness as he felt himself getting dragged through the flat. He was probably to going be taken away where he'd never be found again._

Niall places a protective hand on Harry's shoulder, and Harry places his hand on top of it for a brief moment before returning to writing.

_Then, all of a sudden Harry was stopped on the ground. He was coughing and sputtering, trying to gasp for air and figure out what the hell happened. When he was finally able to focus his eyes he saw Niall standing there breathing heavily and holding another golf club in his hands. The other man was laying unmoving on the ground._

_“Let's call the police, yeah?” Niall said, his voice shaking._

_“Yeah,” Harry nodded, standing up. “But wait, there's something I have to do.”_

_He walked over to the other smaller man and pulled his mask off to reveal who it was that had been after them all this time._

_Justin Bieber._

Niall leans back in his chair, he's howling with laughter as Harry looks back at him and grins. 

“Class,” Niall laughs, wiping his eyes because he's laughing so hard. “That's really good.” He knows it's probably not really all that good but it's funny and that's really all that matters. He's not fussed about where the story's going at this point anyway.

Harry shakes his head and posts it. “You don't think it's jumped the shark?” he asks.

Niall shakes his head, still chucking to himself. “No. I reckon it's almost done anyways.”

Harry smiles, closing the laptop and climbing back into the bed with Niall following him quickly behind. He stretches his legs out, yawning and cuddling up closer to Niall.

Niall kisses Harry's lips softly before pulling the covers up over his face. He's positively giddy, but as soon as he hears Harry's even breathing, he knows he'll have no trouble falling asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

Harry's hands slide up and down Niall's sides as they lay together a week later. It's dark outside their hotel room – probably two or three in the morning if Niall has to guess. He can't be bothered to look at the clock, not when there are much more pressing matters at hand.

Niall's head is spinning and his breaths are short. Harry's just touching him softly, their clothes discarded long ago. It's almost routine now and Niall can't remember spending this much time being this intimate so often with anyone else in his life.

“Niall,” Harry says slowly, moving his hand downwards and caressing the soft skin of Niall's thigh. He takes a deep breath, and right away Niall knows what Harry's going to ask him. He can feel it in the pit of his stomach. It twists and his heart pumps faster. He can almost hear the words before Harry says them. “Do you want to?” he whispers, leaning in and nipping at Niall's neck.

Yes, he wants to. Of course he wants to, here's Harry laying next to him naked in bed, pressing his body up against him. But even though he talked about it with Liam, he's still stuck, he's still afraid.

“I...” he pauses, because he doesn't even know what he's agreeing to. “Yeah... I just...”

Harry lifts his head a bit and smiles softly at Niall before getting off the bed and rummaging through his bag. He tosses a condom and a small bottle of something onto the bed and Niall peers down at it.

Harry crawls back onto the bed and kisses Niall on the mouth. 

“Harry, I'm really nervous,” Niall admits, which is ridiculous because Harry looks like he's taking this all in stride. Like he knows exactly what to do and say and like his heart isn't about to pound right out of his chest.

But Harry nods. His eyes soften in agreement. “I know.”

“I just don't know what to do,” Niall says, darting his eyes away from Harry's and looking down at the bedspread and the supplies in his peripheral vision.

But Harry kisses him on the cheek and Niall sighs, feeling a little bit more at ease. “You can go as slow as you want,” he says with a whisper.

And Niall looks up at him and that's when he realises that Harry's not going to make him do anything he doesn't want to do. He's going to let Niall go about this the way he knows how, to let him get used to it being different.

Niall nods, moving in closer to Harry. This, he thinks he can handle. Harry picks up the bottle and lifts Niall's left hand, squirting out some of the cool liquid and and rubbing it over Niall's fingertips.

It's weird, Niall thinks as Harry curls up close to him. His hand moves downwards and Harry gasps as Niall inserts just one of his (apparently short) fingers.

“Sorry,” Niall says, moving to pull away. “I don't-”

“It's okay,” Harry breaths, wrapping his arms around Niall. “Just different, is all. Keep going.”

Niall nods as Harry holds him close. He's gasping and making all sorts of little noises as Niall works him, and Niall's doing everything he can to try and make Harry comfortable. Which is difficult because he has no idea what the fuck he's doing, save for some moderate instructions from Harry.

This goes on for what seems like hours. It's still dark outside, and the two boys are still clinging to each other. Harry's head is resting on Niall's shoulder. His eyes are pressed shut and his mouth hangs open, only making the slightest noises when Niall's fingertip brushes against his prostate.

Noises that Niall's never heard come from Harry, that send the blood rushing straight to his dick and keeping him almost painfully hard as he touches his boyfriend in ways he'd never really thought about before.

“Niall,” Harry almost whines, licking and sucking at the pale skin of his shoulder. “I need you.”

“You mean... like...” Niall says awkwardly, because he is still so lost and he has no idea where Harry got this kind of experience from if he's never been with another boy.

Harry just nods, gently pulling himself away from Niall and rolling over onto his back. He's breathing heavily as he watches Niall.

This part is easy, Niall thinks to himself. He can open a condom package and he can roll it onto himself. He's done that before, and he's had a lot of practice because he tried it out when he was younger. Even before Holly so he'd be prepared when the time inevitably came.

“You'll probably want to use that,” Harry says, pointing at the bottle of lube after Niall discards the condom packaging onto the bedside table. 

Niall nods, even though he still has no idea what he's doing. Still, it's easy for him to place a few beads of liquid onto his hands and rub them over his dick. What's hard is for him to move his hand off of himself, because he's so painfully turned on he could just finish himself right then and there.

But instead he hovers over Harry, looking him straight in the eyes. Harry bucks his hips upwards, and Niall licks his lips. He takes a shaky breath and he grips his cock, lining himself up with Harry's entrance. As slow as he possibly can, he pushes himself inside.

“Is it all right?” he asks, looking back up at Harry.

Harry just nods, his lips pressed together and his face flushed.

Niall moves slowly, rocking his hips as he slides in and out. It's almost painfully slowly because Harry's so warm and tight around him. He looks down at Harry, whose face has relaxed a little bit. 

“You can go faster,” Harry says, swallowing a little bit. “I'm all right.”

Niall nods, panting as he picks up the pace a little bit. He's never felt anything like this before and it's enough to make him bite his tongue to control himself. Being this close to Harry is almost too much for him. Because it's never been like this – not when he slept with Holly, not when he slept with any other girl. Because the person laying underneath him is the only person he wants to see when he looks down. His curls are messy, and his chest is heaving and taking all of it in makes Niall wonder how exactly he got so lucky.

“Are you going to come, Niall?” Harry breathes out. “Tell me when you're going to.”

“Ugh,” Niall moans. He really doesn't want to – if this could last for the rest of his life he'd be okay with it. But if he keeps biting down on his tongue it's going to bleed. His body is already shaking and screaming at him for release. “Soon.”

Harry nods and wraps his hand around his cock. Niall breathes heavily, trying his best not to hurt Harry as he thrusts his hips. He moans, and Harry pumps faster, moaning and finally making a mess over his hand and stomach.

It doesn't take Niall long after that – not after he's seen Harry writhing underneath him. His breath catches in his throat and he can barely make a noise as he tenses up and comes. He hardly even moves as he clings to his boyfriend, holding him tight while his body shakes.

When it's all over, sweat glistens on Niall's forehead. His chest is heaving, drawing in long breaths of air. Harry runs his hands up and down Niall's back, kissing him on the shoulder.

“I love you, Niall,” Harry whispers softly.

Niall can't say anything, because actual tears sting his eyes as he buries his head in Harry's chest. But that's okay. The way that Harry holds him and hums a little, tells Niall that he knows he loves him too.

* * *

_The lads were back on tour two weeks later. Back in America, back to everything being normal._

_“How did you do it?” Louis asked in amazement as they sat on the tour bus. It was on it's way to their first show. In what city, none of them were really sure. Except for Liam, probably. He always seemed to know where they were headed and what was going to happen._

_Harry looked over at Niall and smiled. “It was all Niall. He saved me.”_

_Niall shrugged because it wasn't all him. Harry had taken out the first one – Justin. Who was evidently after them because he was pissed off that they'd beaten his sales record._

_Louis just shook his head. “Didn't think he had it in him.”_

_Niall reached his arm outwards and flexed. “What do you mean? I've been working out!”_

_The others howled with laughter at this, because even though Niall had been working out he definitely didn't take it seriously. He really only did it because he was mandated to._

_Harry doesn't laugh though. He just smiled softly, pulling Niall in close and enjoying his scent. He was always a mix of this generic Dove soap smell. But Harry didn't mind – whenever he smelled it, he always thought of Niall and a smile was always brought to his face. He hoped that would always be the case._

_“Brought you two closer together though,” Liam pointed out, looking at them. “So there's a silver lining.”_

_Harry looked at Niall and Niall leaned his head down, smiling at him. A silver lining? More like a gold one._

“I reckon it's done then,” Harry sighs, reading over what he's just written. He and Niall are curled up in his bunk, rolling down the highway on their way to one of the last stops on their American tour.

Niall just sighs, reading the words that Harry's written. He wonders if any of his readers have realised that the author has changed. It doesn't seem that way, because they're still commenting with excitement. Especially over the Justin Bieber bit. (Which was met with some mild criticism, but this time Niall just laughs it off.)

“What do you think?” Harry asks, looking down at Niall.

Niall shrugs his shoulders. Truthfully, he loves the way Harry writes. He's got a way with words and such interesting ideas that Niall doesn't think he'd ever be able to come up with. Even when it's something as silly as picking up his unfinished fan fiction, Harry's able to put his own spin on it and make it interesting. The words jump off the page and come to life.

“I love it,” Niall says with a grin. “I love you.”

Harry smiles and nods, posting the segment and looking at Niall's tumblr dashboard as it appears. “I suppose that's it then. The story's over.”

Niall shakes his head as he holds Harry tighter. He couldn't care less about the silly fan fiction. Their own story is just beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all I just want to say thank you. When I started writing this I never expected it would get the response that it did. It truly floors me that this story has over 500 kudos. That's crazy and I still can't believe it every time I look at that number. I also can't believe how many faithful commenters it has - every time I got a new comment it made me so happy, and I truly appreciate that some of you took the time to leave a comment after every chapter. It didn't go unnoticed - again, thank you. I am currently working on a new story, and all of your comments and encouragement on this one helped to keep me writing on that one. 
> 
> I don't really know what else to say. I was inspired to write this after reading Rainbow Rowell's "Fangirl." (Which everyone should read because it's lovely and amazing and I think it's very relateable!) The story's original name was actually "Fanboy" but I changed it before posting because I didn't think it really fit. 
> 
> Anyway, I should probably finish this end note and hit the post button! You can hit me up on twitter (sakabelle) or tumblr (niall-hime) if you want - I'm always interested in taking to people about writing or 1D or whatever! 
> 
> Thank you again and I hope you enjoyed the last chapter :) 
> 
> xoxo Saka


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